Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
@undercoveremi.bsky.social
Freelance writer, Full-time fan trash, good cook. She/her
Pinned
I’m picking up some new friends from the latest Twitter exodus, so I should reintroduce myself.
I’m Emi! I live in Houston, TX. I write sometimes but mostly I cook, swear, and hang out with my awesome husband and my two ridiculous cats. I also talk about movies and tv a lot. Y’all means all.
I’m Emi! I live in Houston, TX. I write sometimes but mostly I cook, swear, and hang out with my awesome husband and my two ridiculous cats. I also talk about movies and tv a lot. Y’all means all.
I have to have one annually because I had fucking cancer just now and it goes to my deductible too. Last one was almost $4k. And it probably won’t shift to being fully covered when I’m 45 because it’s not a standard screening. This is just an annual expense now. Still go get yours though!
Love how colon cancer keeps killing people under 50 and yet insurance doesn't cover colonoscopy without cost-sharing until age 45.
I just paid $1,584 out of pocket for mine thanks to my deductible and copays
I just paid $1,584 out of pocket for mine thanks to my deductible and copays
February 12, 2026 at 1:21 AM
I have to have one annually because I had fucking cancer just now and it goes to my deductible too. Last one was almost $4k. And it probably won’t shift to being fully covered when I’m 45 because it’s not a standard screening. This is just an annual expense now. Still go get yours though!
Scans complete! Everybody think positive no cancer thoughts! 🤞🤞🤞
Hopefully enchiladas are a secret cancer fighter, in which case I think I’ve earned myself a lifetime reprieve in the last couple months.
Hopefully enchiladas are a secret cancer fighter, in which case I think I’ve earned myself a lifetime reprieve in the last couple months.
February 11, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Scans complete! Everybody think positive no cancer thoughts! 🤞🤞🤞
Hopefully enchiladas are a secret cancer fighter, in which case I think I’ve earned myself a lifetime reprieve in the last couple months.
Hopefully enchiladas are a secret cancer fighter, in which case I think I’ve earned myself a lifetime reprieve in the last couple months.
I will reward myself for getting my scans when I’m done here, but I’m not sure if it will be Greek brunch or Tex-Mex. 🤔
February 11, 2026 at 3:54 PM
I will reward myself for getting my scans when I’m done here, but I’m not sure if it will be Greek brunch or Tex-Mex. 🤔
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
I'm pretty good at operating tiny buttons in response to predetermined environmental stimuli, in case any scientists out there are looking to hand out small cheese rewards for that
February 11, 2026 at 12:28 PM
I'm pretty good at operating tiny buttons in response to predetermined environmental stimuli, in case any scientists out there are looking to hand out small cheese rewards for that
Realized my hair was a tad greasy and I didn’t want to fuck with it in the morning before scans. Elapsed time from “oh fuck my hair!” to washed and blow dried 11 minutes. That’s got to be a record. I love my bob. Hair washing used to be at least an hour long ordeal when it was long.
February 11, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Realized my hair was a tad greasy and I didn’t want to fuck with it in the morning before scans. Elapsed time from “oh fuck my hair!” to washed and blow dried 11 minutes. That’s got to be a record. I love my bob. Hair washing used to be at least an hour long ordeal when it was long.
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
You heretics need Viet-Cajun cuisine in your lives.
While Buffalo wings are now a ubiquitous app all over the country, not every regional food goes national. What cuisine from YOUR region do you most want to share with the country/world?
February 11, 2026 at 2:49 AM
You heretics need Viet-Cajun cuisine in your lives.
They don’t even look alike! And that’s coming from someone damn near face blind who frequently has to look twice to determine if it’s Bourdain or Eric Bogosian
MAGA morons mistake Anthony Bourdain for Epstein. They see only what they want to see. They are lost to reality and humanity... and I don't know if I can continue to share space with them...
February 11, 2026 at 1:27 AM
They don’t even look alike! And that’s coming from someone damn near face blind who frequently has to look twice to determine if it’s Bourdain or Eric Bogosian
Speaking of, 4 month scans are tomorrow. I feel physically better than I have in at least 8 years so I’m expecting good results. Of course I am also mentally prepared for the worst, but a little optimism is warranted I think. If past experience is an indication, I should find out Thursday night.
February 11, 2026 at 1:13 AM
Speaking of, 4 month scans are tomorrow. I feel physically better than I have in at least 8 years so I’m expecting good results. Of course I am also mentally prepared for the worst, but a little optimism is warranted I think. If past experience is an indication, I should find out Thursday night.
Made a salad today, nothing special, but I am so grateful for salad! I wasn’t allowed to have leafy greens for a year. They’re still a treat to me!
February 11, 2026 at 1:09 AM
Made a salad today, nothing special, but I am so grateful for salad! I wasn’t allowed to have leafy greens for a year. They’re still a treat to me!
My grandma’s name was Myrtle and she went by Patricia. Wasn’t her middle name or a family name. My grandpa suggested it, because Myrtle is an objectively awful name.
Baffled by transphobes insisting that the name on your birth certificate is Your True Name Forever when it was common in my grandparents' generation to just...pick a name you like and use that, nbd. I literally found out both of my grandma's birth certificate first names FROM THEIR OBITUARIES.
February 11, 2026 at 12:05 AM
My grandma’s name was Myrtle and she went by Patricia. Wasn’t her middle name or a family name. My grandpa suggested it, because Myrtle is an objectively awful name.
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
we're finally getting a fake moon landing
Elon Musk's ambition to one day settle Mars appears to have taken a back seat for a rather nearer and more achievable goal – sending humans to live on the moon. https://cnn.it/46sbAMm
February 10, 2026 at 12:29 AM
we're finally getting a fake moon landing
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
Speaking of Dunk and Egg, if you're belatedly catching up with this week's A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms, here's my Vulture review of this excellent episode.
HBO is releasing this week's Seven Kingdoms early on Max, so my Vulture review is ready for you as well, whenever you get around to watching the episode. This week I talk a lot about George R.R. Martin's cleverly fiendish habit of not quite delivering what you expect. www.vulture.com/article/a-kn...
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms Recap: Oak and Iron
Dunk will still be fighting on the jousting grounds. But now it’s not just his livelihood at stake, it’s also his life.
www.vulture.com
February 10, 2026 at 12:41 AM
Speaking of Dunk and Egg, if you're belatedly catching up with this week's A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms, here's my Vulture review of this excellent episode.
Pretty standard meal tonight, but I’m proud of my potato stacks. I usually do them in a muffin tin, but I forgot I tossed my old one when we moved so I just had to put them in a casserole dish and pray. 🍽️🍜
February 10, 2026 at 12:55 AM
Pretty standard meal tonight, but I’m proud of my potato stacks. I usually do them in a muffin tin, but I forgot I tossed my old one when we moved so I just had to put them in a casserole dish and pray. 🍽️🍜
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
local woman makes girldinner; 19 injured 4 dead
February 9, 2026 at 11:58 PM
local woman makes girldinner; 19 injured 4 dead
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
Did I just watch a commercial for piss?
February 9, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Did I just watch a commercial for piss?
From someone who has regular kidney function tests cause chemo, that toilet commercial can fuck all the way out of my fucking business
February 9, 2026 at 12:54 AM
From someone who has regular kidney function tests cause chemo, that toilet commercial can fuck all the way out of my fucking business
10 minutes before I have to do bread stuff but I’ve been drinking this whole time and uh oh! Time to get my old functional alcoholic hat on and hyper focus through this!
February 8, 2026 at 11:56 PM
10 minutes before I have to do bread stuff but I’ve been drinking this whole time and uh oh! Time to get my old functional alcoholic hat on and hyper focus through this!
I chopped a shit ton of garlic and rubbed it into some butter for the ciabatta later and now my hands smell of garlic butter after multiple washings. This an excellent problem to have.
February 8, 2026 at 10:38 PM
I chopped a shit ton of garlic and rubbed it into some butter for the ciabatta later and now my hands smell of garlic butter after multiple washings. This an excellent problem to have.
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
Smoked Buffalo Chicken Drumsticks for #SuperBowlLX. Used wood chips from used Tabasco barrels. Served with Blue Cheese crumbles and dressing for dipping. 🍽️🍜 #BBQmunity. (Yes that's snow on the ground)
February 8, 2026 at 9:18 PM
Smoked Buffalo Chicken Drumsticks for #SuperBowlLX. Used wood chips from used Tabasco barrels. Served with Blue Cheese crumbles and dressing for dipping. 🍽️🍜 #BBQmunity. (Yes that's snow on the ground)
Male figure skaters not beating the sparkly Vecna allegations
February 8, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Male figure skaters not beating the sparkly Vecna allegations
We got the figure skating up on the big tv while I bake! This is officially an excellent Sunday!
February 8, 2026 at 8:19 PM
We got the figure skating up on the big tv while I bake! This is officially an excellent Sunday!
I try not to mock people based on their appearance, but a pediatrician would classify this woman as an FLK. She is also wearing a family reunion tee shirt for her polycule. And carries the dumbest sign I’ve ever seen. This might be the most cringe human ever born.
February 8, 2026 at 7:34 PM
I try not to mock people based on their appearance, but a pediatrician would classify this woman as an FLK. She is also wearing a family reunion tee shirt for her polycule. And carries the dumbest sign I’ve ever seen. This might be the most cringe human ever born.
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
they evicted the sleepytime bear 😭
February 8, 2026 at 5:41 PM
they evicted the sleepytime bear 😭
Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵
Hey Recipe also has a AI-generated recipe channel on YouTube, which uploaded 416 videos on the same day 4 months ago.
The most popular video has a whopping 297 views.
We can presume there’s tons of similar, entirely simulated recipe sites out there now.
youtube.com/@hey_recipe?...
The most popular video has a whopping 297 views.
We can presume there’s tons of similar, entirely simulated recipe sites out there now.
youtube.com/@hey_recipe?...
Hey Recipe
At heyRecipe.com, we believe cooking should be delicious, fun, and fuss-free. Rather than bombarding you with thousands of mediocre options, we focus on a curated collection of recipes that are tried,...
youtube.com
February 8, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Hey Recipe also has a AI-generated recipe channel on YouTube, which uploaded 416 videos on the same day 4 months ago.
The most popular video has a whopping 297 views.
We can presume there’s tons of similar, entirely simulated recipe sites out there now.
youtube.com/@hey_recipe?...
The most popular video has a whopping 297 views.
We can presume there’s tons of similar, entirely simulated recipe sites out there now.
youtube.com/@hey_recipe?...
I’m going to post the ciabatta process. I’ve never made a bread this difficult, so there’s a very good chance this goes hilariously wrong and I want ya’ll here to laugh with and at me! So far I’ve mixed some flour, water and yeast, which must now sit for 4 hours to ferment.
February 8, 2026 at 5:05 PM
I’m going to post the ciabatta process. I’ve never made a bread this difficult, so there’s a very good chance this goes hilariously wrong and I want ya’ll here to laugh with and at me! So far I’ve mixed some flour, water and yeast, which must now sit for 4 hours to ferment.