The Zack of Handlen Present
@zhandlen.bsky.social
Writer, weirdo
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/zhandlen
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/zhandlen
Pinned
Autism is not a disease, you fucks.
whoa Vince got some butts in this one. (Trying to get through Plur1bus, but Carol’s determination to get the other “survivors” involved is one of those things I really struggle with. Everything I’ve been taught in life goes against doing this, even though I know she’s right.)
December 31, 2025 at 11:58 PM
whoa Vince got some butts in this one. (Trying to get through Plur1bus, but Carol’s determination to get the other “survivors” involved is one of those things I really struggle with. Everything I’ve been taught in life goes against doing this, even though I know she’s right.)
this year i:
-found a new job that i very much like (as much as i can like any job)
-learned i have autism, which still feels like the answer to a question i've been asking my whole life
-wrote some reviews
-very nearly finished the 3rd draft of a novel (it'll likely be done this weekend)
-found a new job that i very much like (as much as i can like any job)
-learned i have autism, which still feels like the answer to a question i've been asking my whole life
-wrote some reviews
-very nearly finished the 3rd draft of a novel (it'll likely be done this weekend)
December 31, 2025 at 5:10 PM
this year i:
-found a new job that i very much like (as much as i can like any job)
-learned i have autism, which still feels like the answer to a question i've been asking my whole life
-wrote some reviews
-very nearly finished the 3rd draft of a novel (it'll likely be done this weekend)
-found a new job that i very much like (as much as i can like any job)
-learned i have autism, which still feels like the answer to a question i've been asking my whole life
-wrote some reviews
-very nearly finished the 3rd draft of a novel (it'll likely be done this weekend)
watching THE STONE TAPE again, the harrowing story of a woman trying to be a professional in a group of business pricks. Also there’s some spooky stuff.
December 31, 2025 at 1:25 AM
watching THE STONE TAPE again, the harrowing story of a woman trying to be a professional in a group of business pricks. Also there’s some spooky stuff.
hey! Lower Decks Season 5 finally got funny again, thank you very much.
Review: Star Trek: The Lower Decks, "The Best Exotic Nanite Hotel" | Season 5, Episode 3 | Zack Handlen Writes
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December 30, 2025 at 11:17 PM
hey! Lower Decks Season 5 finally got funny again, thank you very much.
trying to imagine the satisfaction some people must've felt on getting a call to appear in a Chevy Chase documentary and saying "No."
December 30, 2025 at 11:11 PM
trying to imagine the satisfaction some people must've felt on getting a call to appear in a Chevy Chase documentary and saying "No."
talking with my former* therapist about how my latest attempt to get a novel published had failed, and he said, "It's impressive that you keep trying" in this kind, warm way that broke me.
*he retired, i didn't, like, fire him or anything.
*he retired, i didn't, like, fire him or anything.
Forget insults, what’s the most unhinged *compliment* you’ve ever received?
December 30, 2025 at 10:51 PM
talking with my former* therapist about how my latest attempt to get a novel published had failed, and he said, "It's impressive that you keep trying" in this kind, warm way that broke me.
*he retired, i didn't, like, fire him or anything.
*he retired, i didn't, like, fire him or anything.
it really is wild how well i've trained myself to write TV episode reviews. when i started at TV Club, there wasn't really a format for them--yes, TWP got the ball rolling, but TV Club had to develop its own voice, and in the literal thousands of reviews I've written, I kind of just... found mine.
December 30, 2025 at 10:40 PM
it really is wild how well i've trained myself to write TV episode reviews. when i started at TV Club, there wasn't really a format for them--yes, TWP got the ball rolling, but TV Club had to develop its own voice, and in the literal thousands of reviews I've written, I kind of just... found mine.
Reposted by The Zack of Handlen Present
As it happens, I have experience with high-level government demands to stop an explosive, accurate story from running, and I also have experience with 60 Minutes spiking a story I was involved in, so I have thoughts about the travesty at CBS. If you want some journalism anecdotes, here are a lot:
Watching Bari Weiss Murder Investigative Journalism at CBS
Notes from someone who's withstood White House demands to stop an explosive story—and who once even had a 60 Minutes piece spiked
www.forever-wars.com
December 30, 2025 at 8:06 PM
As it happens, I have experience with high-level government demands to stop an explosive, accurate story from running, and I also have experience with 60 Minutes spiking a story I was involved in, so I have thoughts about the travesty at CBS. If you want some journalism anecdotes, here are a lot:
(I phrased this poorly—I mean specifically the essay about the AI “actress” being superior to human performers because, among other reasons, you could be sure she was a virgin.)
my most conservative take: the guy who wrote the article about a computer program being a “virgin” should be in jail.
December 29, 2025 at 11:17 PM
(I phrased this poorly—I mean specifically the essay about the AI “actress” being superior to human performers because, among other reasons, you could be sure she was a virgin.)
my most conservative take: the guy who wrote the article about a computer program being a “virgin” should be in jail.
December 29, 2025 at 11:12 PM
my most conservative take: the guy who wrote the article about a computer program being a “virgin” should be in jail.
Reposted by The Zack of Handlen Present
okay I got a fair amount of Pluribus to catch up on.
December 29, 2025 at 1:57 AM
okay I got a fair amount of Pluribus to catch up on.
reading Little Dorrit, and man, I fucking love Dickens. just learned there‘s a man named “Tite Barnacle” and the -audacity- of that. no blinking, no winking at the reader, just: his name is Tite Barnacle, and you know why? Because I’m Charles goddamn Dickens -that’s- why.
December 28, 2025 at 7:46 PM
reading Little Dorrit, and man, I fucking love Dickens. just learned there‘s a man named “Tite Barnacle” and the -audacity- of that. no blinking, no winking at the reader, just: his name is Tite Barnacle, and you know why? Because I’m Charles goddamn Dickens -that’s- why.
ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER: PTA is an old nerd dad and he wants to tell his daughters that he knows he’s an idiot but he loves them. He makes this movie.
December 28, 2025 at 3:14 AM
ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER: PTA is an old nerd dad and he wants to tell his daughters that he knows he’s an idiot but he loves them. He makes this movie.
finally watching ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER
December 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
finally watching ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER
Okay so I’m a fucking idiot. I did not realize that was, in fact, Nicolas Cage, and that I was making Rusty’s solid joke into complete nonsense.
Nic Cage _really_ disappears into his roles.
my man looking like Allergic Reaction Eric Idle
December 26, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Okay so I’m a fucking idiot. I did not realize that was, in fact, Nicolas Cage, and that I was making Rusty’s solid joke into complete nonsense.
Make a Bond film casual
Octopuses
Octopuses
Make a Bond film casual
The Spy Who Swiped Right On Me
The Spy Who Swiped Right On Me
Make a Bond film casual
Dr. Nah
Dr. Nah
December 26, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Make a Bond film casual
Octopuses
Octopuses
Nic Cage _really_ disappears into his roles.
my man looking like Allergic Reaction Eric Idle
December 26, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Nic Cage _really_ disappears into his roles.
okay, i got to the final boss of Metroid Prime 4, and i'm not sure i'm even going to bother. first half of the fight is a pointless "group" battle where your friends do nothing but die over and over; second half is an annoying "flying" sequence; third half is ok but overly-punishing.
December 26, 2025 at 3:40 PM
okay, i got to the final boss of Metroid Prime 4, and i'm not sure i'm even going to bother. first half of the fight is a pointless "group" battle where your friends do nothing but die over and over; second half is an annoying "flying" sequence; third half is ok but overly-punishing.
the first season of Stranger Things wasn't _that_ good to begin with. do not mourn its passing.
December 26, 2025 at 3:38 PM
the first season of Stranger Things wasn't _that_ good to begin with. do not mourn its passing.
FYI: if you were curious about the Netflix MST3K eps, they’ve put some of the first season on YouTube for free, and there’s great stuff in there.
December 26, 2025 at 1:18 AM
FYI: if you were curious about the Netflix MST3K eps, they’ve put some of the first season on YouTube for free, and there’s great stuff in there.
I say this with love: you all know none of these are funny, right.
Something you can say for Bluesky is that no other website is cranking out Muppet Christmas Carol Tiny Tim jokes like this place
December 25, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I say this with love: you all know none of these are funny, right.
Reposted by The Zack of Handlen Present
Merry Christmas! For some reason, my mood today is watching ‘70s movies via RiffTrax and MST3K.
December 25, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Merry Christmas! For some reason, my mood today is watching ‘70s movies via RiffTrax and MST3K.
Reposted by The Zack of Handlen Present
I was wrong, I thought I was done RTing this but unfortunately the need is still high
So, in the last few weeks I got hit with a bill for a sleep study I I had already paid a co-pay for...for 758 dollars. Needed 2238 dollars worth of car repairs and still have 368 dollars from dental work. Venmo: ONIRAM48, paypal: btmarino84@gmail.com. I hate to ask, but not sure what else to do.
December 24, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I was wrong, I thought I was done RTing this but unfortunately the need is still high