It's Liz!
@twolemonades.com
I'm Liz (they/she)!
🏳️🌈 Baltimore's tallest non-binary gay mom.
💯 Neurodivergent leftist enthusiastic about: mixtapes, craft beer, poetry, and weird RPGs.
🗣️ BLM. ACAB. Trans rights. Free Palestine.
💌 twolemonades.com
🏳️🌈 Baltimore's tallest non-binary gay mom.
💯 Neurodivergent leftist enthusiastic about: mixtapes, craft beer, poetry, and weird RPGs.
🗣️ BLM. ACAB. Trans rights. Free Palestine.
💌 twolemonades.com
Some facts:
- the seller of our house needs to sell by EoY
- closing tomorrow is contingent upon the seller having hired a licensed contractor to complete a handful of repairs
- the seller's agent has yet to provide the contractor's license #
- if closing is delayed, that's not on us, my guy
- the seller of our house needs to sell by EoY
- closing tomorrow is contingent upon the seller having hired a licensed contractor to complete a handful of repairs
- the seller's agent has yet to provide the contractor's license #
- if closing is delayed, that's not on us, my guy
December 29, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Some facts:
- the seller of our house needs to sell by EoY
- closing tomorrow is contingent upon the seller having hired a licensed contractor to complete a handful of repairs
- the seller's agent has yet to provide the contractor's license #
- if closing is delayed, that's not on us, my guy
- the seller of our house needs to sell by EoY
- closing tomorrow is contingent upon the seller having hired a licensed contractor to complete a handful of repairs
- the seller's agent has yet to provide the contractor's license #
- if closing is delayed, that's not on us, my guy
emailing with the people who work at title companies is like taking a step back in time. so many women with names like Joyce who have pictures of pretty flowers in their email signatures.
December 29, 2025 at 3:11 PM
emailing with the people who work at title companies is like taking a step back in time. so many women with names like Joyce who have pictures of pretty flowers in their email signatures.
Ultimately, I believe that Théoden is a poor military tactician.
December 28, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Ultimately, I believe that Théoden is a poor military tactician.
Have rarely related more to a fictional character than I have to Shane Hollander's Mom.
EVERYONE LISTEN. I MADE A PLAN.
EVERYONE LISTEN. I MADE A PLAN.
December 27, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Have rarely related more to a fictional character than I have to Shane Hollander's Mom.
EVERYONE LISTEN. I MADE A PLAN.
EVERYONE LISTEN. I MADE A PLAN.
The 12yo and I are watching s1 of Stranger Things together (her first time), and I had really forgotten what a shitass Steve is.
December 26, 2025 at 10:31 PM
The 12yo and I are watching s1 of Stranger Things together (her first time), and I had really forgotten what a shitass Steve is.
Reposted by It's Liz!
Pigs don't wear Dior but that hasn't stopped her. I believe in the power of Women
December 26, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Pigs don't wear Dior but that hasn't stopped her. I believe in the power of Women
Does Miss Piggy have a bush? Not, like, how does she maintain her bush, but *can* Muppet-pig-women grow a bush?
December 26, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Does Miss Piggy have a bush? Not, like, how does she maintain her bush, but *can* Muppet-pig-women grow a bush?
Reposted by It's Liz!
couldn't decide between a star and an angel, so i went with both
December 25, 2025 at 2:25 PM
couldn't decide between a star and an angel, so i went with both
Me: What are you a Grinch of?
15yo: CAPITALISM.
15yo: CAPITALISM.
December 25, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Me: What are you a Grinch of?
15yo: CAPITALISM.
15yo: CAPITALISM.
dainty little lavender shortbread snowflakes. ❄️
December 24, 2025 at 10:36 PM
dainty little lavender shortbread snowflakes. ❄️
THE 12YO WAS TYPING FURIOUSLY ON HER PHONE AND I SAID WHAT ARE YOU TYPING AND SHE SAID I'M WRITING A FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!!
BABY'S! FIRST! FANFIC!!!
BABY'S! FIRST! FANFIC!!!
December 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM
THE 12YO WAS TYPING FURIOUSLY ON HER PHONE AND I SAID WHAT ARE YOU TYPING AND SHE SAID I'M WRITING A FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!!
BABY'S! FIRST! FANFIC!!!
BABY'S! FIRST! FANFIC!!!
Time to pine*.
*watch Carol
*watch Carol
December 24, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Time to pine*.
*watch Carol
*watch Carol
Christmastime wishes from your favorite lesbians.
December 24, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Christmastime wishes from your favorite lesbians.
An older lady at the nail salon did a long sigh when she saw the red sparkly color I picked out. "My husband won't let me get the sparkles," she said.
"Perhaps you should get a wife," I replied.
"If it had been an option 50 years ago, I probably would have," she said.
"Perhaps you should get a wife," I replied.
"If it had been an option 50 years ago, I probably would have," she said.
December 23, 2025 at 7:38 PM
An older lady at the nail salon did a long sigh when she saw the red sparkly color I picked out. "My husband won't let me get the sparkles," she said.
"Perhaps you should get a wife," I replied.
"If it had been an option 50 years ago, I probably would have," she said.
"Perhaps you should get a wife," I replied.
"If it had been an option 50 years ago, I probably would have," she said.
Help the 15yo is downloading Bsky and asked for my handle. Let me live. Never look at my posts!!!!
December 23, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Help the 15yo is downloading Bsky and asked for my handle. Let me live. Never look at my posts!!!!
The tag on the blouse is SENDING ME
Yes, hi, good morning. Have you ever thought to yourself, I would like to watch a drag queen perform the monologue from "Hereditary?" If so, have I got just the thing.
December 23, 2025 at 2:21 PM
The tag on the blouse is SENDING ME
Spending the whole yuletide season accusing my children of being peekers the way the local magistrate may have brought charges of witchcraft against Goody Danvers in the 1600s.
December 22, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Spending the whole yuletide season accusing my children of being peekers the way the local magistrate may have brought charges of witchcraft against Goody Danvers in the 1600s.
When you were a kid did you think that cordial cherries had alcohol in them?
I definitely did.
I definitely did.
December 21, 2025 at 11:31 PM
When you were a kid did you think that cordial cherries had alcohol in them?
I definitely did.
I definitely did.
Reposted by It's Liz!
muppet christmas carol (happy holidays!)
December 21, 2025 at 7:56 PM
muppet christmas carol (happy holidays!)
Oh noooooo I'm watching one of the more recent seasons of Call the Midwife and there's elderly lesbians and I'm already crying.
December 21, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Oh noooooo I'm watching one of the more recent seasons of Call the Midwife and there's elderly lesbians and I'm already crying.
I am not dreaming of a White Christmas.
Instead, I am dreaming of doing a drag king spin on the Boulet Brothers when the husbutch and I go see the Dragula tour in Philly.
Instead, I am dreaming of doing a drag king spin on the Boulet Brothers when the husbutch and I go see the Dragula tour in Philly.
December 21, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I am not dreaming of a White Christmas.
Instead, I am dreaming of doing a drag king spin on the Boulet Brothers when the husbutch and I go see the Dragula tour in Philly.
Instead, I am dreaming of doing a drag king spin on the Boulet Brothers when the husbutch and I go see the Dragula tour in Philly.
One of the music writers featured in the new Counting Crows documentaries says, "The sullen, literary, journaling teenager. This is your shit."
And I absolutely was that kid. And I am still that kid. And it's still my shit.
And I absolutely was that kid. And I am still that kid. And it's still my shit.
December 21, 2025 at 2:55 PM
One of the music writers featured in the new Counting Crows documentaries says, "The sullen, literary, journaling teenager. This is your shit."
And I absolutely was that kid. And I am still that kid. And it's still my shit.
And I absolutely was that kid. And I am still that kid. And it's still my shit.
Marry a guy who will make the Radgull Power Noodles from the Vault Dwellers Cookbook for you and your Fallout obsessed kid for your S2E1 watch-along.
December 21, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Marry a guy who will make the Radgull Power Noodles from the Vault Dwellers Cookbook for you and your Fallout obsessed kid for your S2E1 watch-along.
If The Final Pam isn't going to be in the new Fallout season, I'm not watching.
December 21, 2025 at 12:26 AM
If The Final Pam isn't going to be in the new Fallout season, I'm not watching.
The Ivy Bookshop's popup in the church in Mt. Vernon is so brilliant.
We just wandered through and it felt good to my soul to be in a reverent space without the burden of pretending to practice Christianity.
We just wandered through and it felt good to my soul to be in a reverent space without the burden of pretending to practice Christianity.
December 20, 2025 at 6:34 PM
The Ivy Bookshop's popup in the church in Mt. Vernon is so brilliant.
We just wandered through and it felt good to my soul to be in a reverent space without the burden of pretending to practice Christianity.
We just wandered through and it felt good to my soul to be in a reverent space without the burden of pretending to practice Christianity.