Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
@tsunamidoug.bsky.social
Nicole Cliffe left Twitter like 20 minutes after following me and I hope that's not why she left. Posts are my own and not those of the DoD or US Army.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
True comedy is watching Dave Portnay trying to use a hammer
November 14, 2025 at 5:42 AM
True comedy is watching Dave Portnay trying to use a hammer
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
My kid been acting up in school again today. Now I have to spend the weekend punishing him, when I just wanted to let him be free to do whatever so he could leave me alone to read.
Kids forever messing up ya plan.
Kids forever messing up ya plan.
November 14, 2025 at 8:01 PM
My kid been acting up in school again today. Now I have to spend the weekend punishing him, when I just wanted to let him be free to do whatever so he could leave me alone to read.
Kids forever messing up ya plan.
Kids forever messing up ya plan.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
when new yorkers all experience something on social media it's like a rat that got ahold of a brazil nut. when upper midwesterners all experience something on social media it's a breathtaking dance of radiant light and color across the entire night sky
November 12, 2025 at 3:35 AM
when new yorkers all experience something on social media it's like a rat that got ahold of a brazil nut. when upper midwesterners all experience something on social media it's a breathtaking dance of radiant light and color across the entire night sky
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
The basic problem of health insurance: if you want sick people to be able to get insurance, then the insurance product ceases to be traditional insurance, bc the insurer cannot price risk. Once you accept that sick people should get insurance, you must accept some variety of a socialized system.
Rick Scott told me his plan would be to take all of the remaining ACA subsidies and redistribute them to HSA accounts and people can then buy whatever insurance a state certifies. Basically a repeal/replace.
He denied when I asked wouldn’t that create two-tiered system where sick pay much more…
He denied when I asked wouldn’t that create two-tiered system where sick pay much more…
November 11, 2025 at 4:22 AM
The basic problem of health insurance: if you want sick people to be able to get insurance, then the insurance product ceases to be traditional insurance, bc the insurer cannot price risk. Once you accept that sick people should get insurance, you must accept some variety of a socialized system.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
bring back maligning racism as the mark of a stupid person. prejudice is the mark of an idiot. if you believe that shit i bet you also don’t wipe your ass
November 7, 2025 at 8:55 PM
bring back maligning racism as the mark of a stupid person. prejudice is the mark of an idiot. if you believe that shit i bet you also don’t wipe your ass
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
we got six seasons but I'm still waiting on the movie
November 6, 2025 at 5:49 PM
we got six seasons but I'm still waiting on the movie
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
I will support any New York mayoral candidate who admits bodegas are just convenience stores and everywhere in the world has them
November 4, 2025 at 2:05 AM
I will support any New York mayoral candidate who admits bodegas are just convenience stores and everywhere in the world has them
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
Lost your job to the AI revolution? Well, chin up, because you can still do something no clanker will ever be able to do - turn a roast beef sandwich into a hot, greasy dump.
Please continue to enjoy arbys
Please continue to enjoy arbys
October 30, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Lost your job to the AI revolution? Well, chin up, because you can still do something no clanker will ever be able to do - turn a roast beef sandwich into a hot, greasy dump.
Please continue to enjoy arbys
Please continue to enjoy arbys
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
midwest facial expressions going global
October 28, 2025 at 2:19 AM
midwest facial expressions going global
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
You want a military tradition worth venerating? We took immigrants who grew up in rough neighborhoods and the culture of football and ran through the SS like shit through a goose.
October 26, 2025 at 2:25 PM
You want a military tradition worth venerating? We took immigrants who grew up in rough neighborhoods and the culture of football and ran through the SS like shit through a goose.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
i don't get it. omen sushi in nyc is cheaper than nobu in malibu, where you dined last year without your wife
October 22, 2025 at 3:48 AM
i don't get it. omen sushi in nyc is cheaper than nobu in malibu, where you dined last year without your wife
The right team won the most important game of the season. #RiseandShout
October 19, 2025 at 11:30 AM
The right team won the most important game of the season. #RiseandShout
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
Like all christo-atheist arguments about the Bible reduce down to “this is the shittiest most inaccurate science textbook I’ve ever seen” because they’re fundamentally incapable of understanding why something other than a science textbook might be meaningful to people.
October 18, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Like all christo-atheist arguments about the Bible reduce down to “this is the shittiest most inaccurate science textbook I’ve ever seen” because they’re fundamentally incapable of understanding why something other than a science textbook might be meaningful to people.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
A meme that precisely 3 people will laugh at. Eat your heart out, @chairtrophy.bsky.social.
October 17, 2025 at 5:20 PM
A meme that precisely 3 people will laugh at. Eat your heart out, @chairtrophy.bsky.social.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
White Sox fan does not miss a beat
Someone in the crowd: “Go Cubs!”
Pope Leo XIV: “Han perdido! They lost!”
Pope Leo XIV: “Han perdido! They lost!”
October 15, 2025 at 6:09 PM
White Sox fan does not miss a beat
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
If someone merely acknowledging the humanity of your enemies enrages you, you’re the baddies.
October 11, 2025 at 7:27 PM
If someone merely acknowledging the humanity of your enemies enrages you, you’re the baddies.
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
Updating my unofficial World Of Taylor jigsaw by drawing a big cock and balls on it
October 11, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Updating my unofficial World Of Taylor jigsaw by drawing a big cock and balls on it
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
A lot of people heard of the legitimate critique of respectability politics found in e.g. queer theory and interpreted it based almost solely on the name as "it's okay to be maximally unpleasant all the time"
October 9, 2025 at 7:36 AM
A lot of people heard of the legitimate critique of respectability politics found in e.g. queer theory and interpreted it based almost solely on the name as "it's okay to be maximally unpleasant all the time"
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
In middle school my friend printed this out and brought it to his catholic school and got in trouble
October 10, 2025 at 3:16 AM
In middle school my friend printed this out and brought it to his catholic school and got in trouble
Today is my Army-versary. Eight years as a guv'ment mule. Say "Good job, Doug."
a man is standing in front of a sign that says ' usted leadership for a stronger america '
Alt: JebBushPleaseClap.gif
media.tenor.com
October 8, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Today is my Army-versary. Eight years as a guv'ment mule. Say "Good job, Doug."
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
Wanna pitch the CBC on a reality court show about a real tough Judge Judy type Inuit judge operating in the far north of Canada called Having Nunavut.
October 5, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Wanna pitch the CBC on a reality court show about a real tough Judge Judy type Inuit judge operating in the far north of Canada called Having Nunavut.
See my pinned skeet for the cultural significance of small talk for repressed Midwesterners like me!
wait is this not commonly understood? I remember learning to make small talk, it had to be explained to me becuase I’m very autistic, but I did learn it, and it’s always seemed pretty clear to me that it’s a “I am not hostile and am doing okay” signal in this way
This Tumblr user summarizes something I've been feeling/doing lately. Against everything going on, it somehow feels helpful.
October 5, 2025 at 4:54 PM
See my pinned skeet for the cultural significance of small talk for repressed Midwesterners like me!
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
seven-year-old: “who’s voice is that”
me: “Bob Dylan”
7yo: “is that yr friend”
me: “no a singer”
7yo: “not a very good singer”
me: “Bob Dylan”
7yo: “is that yr friend”
me: “no a singer”
7yo: “not a very good singer”
October 3, 2025 at 12:29 PM
seven-year-old: “who’s voice is that”
me: “Bob Dylan”
7yo: “is that yr friend”
me: “no a singer”
7yo: “not a very good singer”
me: “Bob Dylan”
7yo: “is that yr friend”
me: “no a singer”
7yo: “not a very good singer”
Reposted by Doug Partridge, Army Esq.
I’m sorry, there are only a billion sexually graphic songs about women’s bodies written by men, by by all means complain about a woman doing the same.
By simply and innocently pressing play on Taylor Swift’s “Wood,” I was forced to choke down a lumber truck’s worth of information about Travis Kelce’s ‘Wood.’
Here’s what I now know against my will.
Here’s what I now know against my will.
I Didn’t Need to Know All of That About Travis Kelce
By simply and innocently pressing play on Taylor Swift’s “Wood,” I was forced to choke down a lumber truck’s worth of information about Travis Kelce’s ‘Wood.’
Here’s what I now know against my will.
www.vulture.com
October 3, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I’m sorry, there are only a billion sexually graphic songs about women’s bodies written by men, by by all means complain about a woman doing the same.