New Year, New Raccoon
@thadjuggernuts.bsky.social
just a monkey on a chinese calender
Pinned
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
Making a hot sauce called "step on my balls mommy"
February 18, 2026 at 4:21 PM
Making a hot sauce called "step on my balls mommy"
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
this joke is so dad it went out for cigarettes and never came back
this joke is so dad i fell and it told me to walk it off
got fired from the prosthetics factory
which is total bullshit cause they weren’t even going to pay me in money so like
it cost me an arm and a leg
which is total bullshit cause they weren’t even going to pay me in money so like
it cost me an arm and a leg
February 17, 2026 at 8:55 PM
this joke is so dad it went out for cigarettes and never came back
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starshit enterprise
February 17, 2026 at 5:15 PM
starshit enterprise
first snowfall of the winter, lasted maybe six minutes and it's raining again 🤪
February 17, 2026 at 6:32 AM
first snowfall of the winter, lasted maybe six minutes and it's raining again 🤪
is it time to kill all the billionaires yet?
BREAKING: Epstein Files appear to include emails discussing “elite role-play or themed gatherings” at which Black people are “released into an arena maze to be hunted”
[source: Wall Media]
[source: Wall Media]
February 16, 2026 at 10:35 PM
is it time to kill all the billionaires yet?
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
after everything he's gone through, Elmer Fudd is just lucky to be alive
February 16, 2026 at 10:22 PM
after everything he's gone through, Elmer Fudd is just lucky to be alive
i'm dumber than a mouse 😭
February 16, 2026 at 9:51 PM
i'm dumber than a mouse 😭
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
The “Die Hard Universe” theory is the interesting idea that all the Die Hard movies take place in one shared universe. I watched a four hour YouTube video explaining it.
February 16, 2026 at 8:23 AM
The “Die Hard Universe” theory is the interesting idea that all the Die Hard movies take place in one shared universe. I watched a four hour YouTube video explaining it.
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
you know who was also always checking up on agents? and died for our sins? that's right, mr neo matrix
February 16, 2026 at 4:33 AM
you know who was also always checking up on agents? and died for our sins? that's right, mr neo matrix
forgot the best part when i woke up this morning and went into my little office the mouse had moved one of the glue traps SIX FEET ACROSS THE ROOM he's laughing at me and calling me a peasant....
we 100% cannot catch the mouse. in a compromise between just letting him run around (my plan) and poison (her plan) my wife bought glue traps. he doesn't give a shit, he just runs around/over them. got slightly caught once, you can see his little hand prints in there. the nacho chip was gone.
February 16, 2026 at 2:18 AM
forgot the best part when i woke up this morning and went into my little office the mouse had moved one of the glue traps SIX FEET ACROSS THE ROOM he's laughing at me and calling me a peasant....
we 100% cannot catch the mouse. in a compromise between just letting him run around (my plan) and poison (her plan) my wife bought glue traps. he doesn't give a shit, he just runs around/over them. got slightly caught once, you can see his little hand prints in there. the nacho chip was gone.
February 16, 2026 at 2:03 AM
we 100% cannot catch the mouse. in a compromise between just letting him run around (my plan) and poison (her plan) my wife bought glue traps. he doesn't give a shit, he just runs around/over them. got slightly caught once, you can see his little hand prints in there. the nacho chip was gone.
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
So-called "AI" in every form, needs to be abolished. I am so tired of being exposed to this level of obscene perversion.
If you ever try to talk to me about "agents", "Claude", or "shipping code", I will consider it an act of brazen hostility. I will respond with immediate & overwhelming force.
If you ever try to talk to me about "agents", "Claude", or "shipping code", I will consider it an act of brazen hostility. I will respond with immediate & overwhelming force.
Token Anxiety
i think i mostly echo this for myself. with so much that can be done, i often feel like i *should* be doing something, always
i think i mostly echo this for myself. with so much that can be done, i often feel like i *should* be doing something, always
February 15, 2026 at 4:38 PM
So-called "AI" in every form, needs to be abolished. I am so tired of being exposed to this level of obscene perversion.
If you ever try to talk to me about "agents", "Claude", or "shipping code", I will consider it an act of brazen hostility. I will respond with immediate & overwhelming force.
If you ever try to talk to me about "agents", "Claude", or "shipping code", I will consider it an act of brazen hostility. I will respond with immediate & overwhelming force.
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
nowadays Bart Simpson would just come out and say "eat my shit"
February 15, 2026 at 6:31 PM
nowadays Bart Simpson would just come out and say "eat my shit"
please clap
February 15, 2026 at 5:09 PM
please clap
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
print this out and give it to ur sweetie
![drawing of a crazed cartoon bear with bloody teeth entering frame from the lower right corner. text reads: do not be eat up [sic] by hungry bear consider instead to be my Valentine. So sweet!](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:p4cnafddvn75r5wngcej4xss/bafkreidvvjtulqhhxajoragkq7wxwymgpl2seyamftzfyl7vo42r7lw3im@jpeg)
February 12, 2026 at 8:55 PM
print this out and give it to ur sweetie
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
63 year long seinfeld episode wherein george lies about his birthday on a first date to get free dessert from the restaurant. but he really hits it off with the girl. they fall in love and get married. he has to roll the fake birthday for the rest of his life. kramer & elaine visit the amish market.
February 14, 2026 at 12:44 AM
63 year long seinfeld episode wherein george lies about his birthday on a first date to get free dessert from the restaurant. but he really hits it off with the girl. they fall in love and get married. he has to roll the fake birthday for the rest of his life. kramer & elaine visit the amish market.
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm an amorous radioactive hybrid terror pig
And I choo choo choose you
Violets are blue
I'm an amorous radioactive hybrid terror pig
And I choo choo choose you
February 13, 2026 at 2:35 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm an amorous radioactive hybrid terror pig
And I choo choo choose you
Violets are blue
I'm an amorous radioactive hybrid terror pig
And I choo choo choose you
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un sets stage for daughter as his successor: Seoul https://aje.news/hnoe44
February 12, 2026 at 8:42 AM
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pizza was invented in Kansas
February 12, 2026 at 7:43 PM
pizza was invented in Kansas
greg won't take tylenol or advil for anything because he says it affects his short-term memory and he can't remember the lectures that he gives every thursday night at the sc*ent*logy center, just throwin that out here
February 12, 2026 at 5:22 PM
greg won't take tylenol or advil for anything because he says it affects his short-term memory and he can't remember the lectures that he gives every thursday night at the sc*ent*logy center, just throwin that out here
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
That raccoon’s name? John McClane.
February 11, 2026 at 11:26 PM
That raccoon’s name? John McClane.
Reposted by New Year, New Raccoon
What he doing in there
February 11, 2026 at 5:20 AM
What he doing in there