Teatime With Matt
@teatimewithmatt.bsky.social
He/Him/His
Travelling in space & time the old fashioned way; slowly and in right order.
Railway Timetable Planner, Heritage Railway Director, Guard and Lever Fiddler. As seen on YouTube.
linktr.ee/mattaf
Travelling in space & time the old fashioned way; slowly and in right order.
Railway Timetable Planner, Heritage Railway Director, Guard and Lever Fiddler. As seen on YouTube.
linktr.ee/mattaf
Pinned
The Cult of Scratchwood - Adjudication of the Daleks
YouTube video by Mattaf Productions
youtu.be
Out now for Channel Members and Tuesday at 7pm for everyone else! Several years ago on the planet Skaro, Davros receives a visit from the Dalek Supreme and Dalek Drell of the Special Scientific Division. The reason for their visit? The Cult of Scratchwood. Guest starring Rory Stock as Davros.
Roses are red.
This signal is- SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!
This signal is- SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!
February 13, 2026 at 9:29 PM
Roses are red.
This signal is- SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!
This signal is- SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
This Valentine’s Day, give your partner what they really want: a murder of crows to befriend, a glowing tome found in a bed of ferns, and an ancient magic that imbues them with fearsome powers.
February 13, 2026 at 7:25 PM
This Valentine’s Day, give your partner what they really want: a murder of crows to befriend, a glowing tome found in a bed of ferns, and an ancient magic that imbues them with fearsome powers.
"I was not going to be defeated by a chocolate teddy bear!"
#QuoteOfTheDay
#QuoteOfTheDay
February 13, 2026 at 3:13 PM
"I was not going to be defeated by a chocolate teddy bear!"
#QuoteOfTheDay
#QuoteOfTheDay
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
Anyway, if you want to support a trans person, maybe go give @impossiblephd.bsky.social 's new book a try.
Or check in on your trans friends. See if they need a hug, or pizza, or both.
Or check in on your trans friends. See if they need a hug, or pizza, or both.
February 12, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Anyway, if you want to support a trans person, maybe go give @impossiblephd.bsky.social 's new book a try.
Or check in on your trans friends. See if they need a hug, or pizza, or both.
Or check in on your trans friends. See if they need a hug, or pizza, or both.
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
Thank goodness we have a labour government so this kind of thing doesn't happen like it would under reform
New School Guidance announces:
Full bathroom ban.
Full PE ban.
Full school trip accommodation ban.
Trans kids will not go to the bathroom, do PE or go on any school trips. 1/
Full bathroom ban.
Full PE ban.
Full school trip accommodation ban.
Trans kids will not go to the bathroom, do PE or go on any school trips. 1/
February 12, 2026 at 7:12 PM
Thank goodness we have a labour government so this kind of thing doesn't happen like it would under reform
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
I think the robot is Bill Potts.
February 11, 2026 at 3:19 AM
I think the robot is Bill Potts.
You ever ponder your life choices? Ever deeply analyse every decision you've ever made and wonder if you'd made different decisions you'd be a better, happier and more content person? Or if you're just a bunch of bad decisions in a trench coat pretending to be a functional human?
Well... that.
Well... that.
February 12, 2026 at 12:21 PM
You ever ponder your life choices? Ever deeply analyse every decision you've ever made and wonder if you'd made different decisions you'd be a better, happier and more content person? Or if you're just a bunch of bad decisions in a trench coat pretending to be a functional human?
Well... that.
Well... that.
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
A lot of accusations flying around
February 10, 2026 at 2:05 PM
A lot of accusations flying around
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
Something compelled me to make this
February 10, 2026 at 10:57 AM
Something compelled me to make this
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
In an alarming development, it appears the UK Government covered up a massive spike in trans youth suicides after restrictions.
Then covered it up again when caught.
Now, after fighting for years, the data is public: trans suicide increased 5x in the country.
Subscribe to support our journalism.
Then covered it up again when caught.
Now, after fighting for years, the data is public: trans suicide increased 5x in the country.
Subscribe to support our journalism.
Trans Youth Suicides Skyrocketed In UK After Care Drawdown; Government Covers It Up
A Freedom of Information request to the National Child Mortality Database reveals that 22 trans children under 18 died by suicide in England in 2021-22 alone.
www.erininthemorning.com
February 9, 2026 at 6:37 PM
In an alarming development, it appears the UK Government covered up a massive spike in trans youth suicides after restrictions.
Then covered it up again when caught.
Now, after fighting for years, the data is public: trans suicide increased 5x in the country.
Subscribe to support our journalism.
Then covered it up again when caught.
Now, after fighting for years, the data is public: trans suicide increased 5x in the country.
Subscribe to support our journalism.
So that's four people who've given the PM their full support now. So we'll expect his resignation by tea time?
February 9, 2026 at 3:00 PM
So that's four people who've given the PM their full support now. So we'll expect his resignation by tea time?
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
"I need AI to make art, human art is only for the rich and privileged-"
February 6, 2026 at 7:29 PM
"I need AI to make art, human art is only for the rich and privileged-"
Switched from EE to ID mobile, taking my number with me.
My EE SIM Card has just been turned off.
My new ID Mobile SIM Card has been redirected, because Royal Mail thinks it went to the wrong delivery centre.
Uh, oh.
My EE SIM Card has just been turned off.
My new ID Mobile SIM Card has been redirected, because Royal Mail thinks it went to the wrong delivery centre.
Uh, oh.
February 4, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Switched from EE to ID mobile, taking my number with me.
My EE SIM Card has just been turned off.
My new ID Mobile SIM Card has been redirected, because Royal Mail thinks it went to the wrong delivery centre.
Uh, oh.
My EE SIM Card has just been turned off.
My new ID Mobile SIM Card has been redirected, because Royal Mail thinks it went to the wrong delivery centre.
Uh, oh.
"If you love something, set it free. If it chirps and flies away, then it was probably a bird."
Where do I know this quote from?!
Where do I know this quote from?!
February 3, 2026 at 6:27 PM
"If you love something, set it free. If it chirps and flies away, then it was probably a bird."
Where do I know this quote from?!
Where do I know this quote from?!
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
This took me fucking ages
![1
[Scene is a GREGGS interior. A lone MAN, the only customer in the shop, is standing at counter]
MAN:
Please can I have a sausage roll.
2
GREGGS SHOP ASSISTANT:
Certainly sir
[She pulls a leaver on the panini machine and WOOSH the man disappears through a trapdoor].
Whoosh
3
[The MAN appears through a chute in an underground bunker. A voice from off-scene greets him]:
Welcome, friend
4
[We see the voice is of a military-looking resistance COMMANDER with a moustache]
COMMANDER:
You said "please can I have" instead of “can I get”…
So now you're one of us.
5
MAN:
W-where am I ...?
[We see him looking at a hi tech UNDERGROUND MILITARY BUNKER - it has resistance vibes, and has lots of screens with maps etc]
6
COMMANDER:
You've joined the resistance…
...against people saying things all American.
7
COMMANDER:
We are an underground network of sleeper agents poised to have a right go at young people the moment they say "mom" or "bangs”.
8
LIEUTENANT [Staring at screen]:
Agent 244 has just given a Zoomer in Halifax the “could/couldn't care less" speech, sir
COMMANDER:
Very good
9
[Show the map of the UK with digital pop ups on it saying ‘GOTTEN’, ‘ZEE’, ‘MATH’ etc
COMMANDER:
You may have heard our name... We are...
10
COMMANDER:
...the Fight Against New Yankee Pronunciations and Americanisms Corrupting the King's English!
11
[Show the military command center panel. It says on the wall in big metal letters]:
F.A.N.Y.P.A.C.K.E.
12
MAN
You've called yourselves the 'Fanny Pack'
COMMANDER:
We didn't spot the acronym
[/end]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreianaxlutkih4rysx6l37rru2cic64wiirt4fd2jss5xlxsulixlou@jpeg)
February 2, 2026 at 10:25 PM
This took me fucking ages
🎵 I hate to be.
Quite frequently.
Experiencing existential dread.
Just letting in.
And sitting with.
Feelings that I might be better off dead.
Feeling bereft.
There's nothing left.
To stop me sitting too long in my head.
When things are bad.
I'm feeling sad.
In need of medication and my bed. 🎵
Quite frequently.
Experiencing existential dread.
Just letting in.
And sitting with.
Feelings that I might be better off dead.
Feeling bereft.
There's nothing left.
To stop me sitting too long in my head.
When things are bad.
I'm feeling sad.
In need of medication and my bed. 🎵
February 1, 2026 at 12:39 PM
🎵 I hate to be.
Quite frequently.
Experiencing existential dread.
Just letting in.
And sitting with.
Feelings that I might be better off dead.
Feeling bereft.
There's nothing left.
To stop me sitting too long in my head.
When things are bad.
I'm feeling sad.
In need of medication and my bed. 🎵
Quite frequently.
Experiencing existential dread.
Just letting in.
And sitting with.
Feelings that I might be better off dead.
Feeling bereft.
There's nothing left.
To stop me sitting too long in my head.
When things are bad.
I'm feeling sad.
In need of medication and my bed. 🎵
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
No show this evening again. I'm in a bad place at the moment and I don't feel that I can be very funny. I'll let you know!
January 28, 2026 at 2:13 PM
No show this evening again. I'm in a bad place at the moment and I don't feel that I can be very funny. I'll let you know!
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
January 27, 2026 at 4:24 PM
If Bilbo had Chat GPT
Reposted by Teatime With Matt
Columbo: You say that your brother, Niles, drank the poisoned sherry at dinner, before you arrived.
Frasier: Yes, Lieutenant, that's right.
Columbo: But surely your brother would know that sherry is a dessert wine.
Frasier: ...
Columbo: You *did* arrive in time for dessert, didn't you, Doctor?
Frasier: Yes, Lieutenant, that's right.
Columbo: But surely your brother would know that sherry is a dessert wine.
Frasier: ...
Columbo: You *did* arrive in time for dessert, didn't you, Doctor?
January 24, 2026 at 6:21 AM
Columbo: You say that your brother, Niles, drank the poisoned sherry at dinner, before you arrived.
Frasier: Yes, Lieutenant, that's right.
Columbo: But surely your brother would know that sherry is a dessert wine.
Frasier: ...
Columbo: You *did* arrive in time for dessert, didn't you, Doctor?
Frasier: Yes, Lieutenant, that's right.
Columbo: But surely your brother would know that sherry is a dessert wine.
Frasier: ...
Columbo: You *did* arrive in time for dessert, didn't you, Doctor?
I really can't stop gushing about how good
@thedalekdirector.bsky.social is as Davros in Adjudication of the Daleks! It's out right now for my lovely channel members, and everyone else can enjoy it tomorrow at 7pm!
@thedalekdirector.bsky.social is as Davros in Adjudication of the Daleks! It's out right now for my lovely channel members, and everyone else can enjoy it tomorrow at 7pm!
The Cult of Scratchwood - Adjudication of the Daleks
YouTube video by Mattaf Productions
youtu.be
January 26, 2026 at 9:46 AM
I really can't stop gushing about how good
@thedalekdirector.bsky.social is as Davros in Adjudication of the Daleks! It's out right now for my lovely channel members, and everyone else can enjoy it tomorrow at 7pm!
@thedalekdirector.bsky.social is as Davros in Adjudication of the Daleks! It's out right now for my lovely channel members, and everyone else can enjoy it tomorrow at 7pm!
Out now for Channel Members and Tuesday at 7pm for everyone else! Several years ago on the planet Skaro, Davros receives a visit from the Dalek Supreme and Dalek Drell of the Special Scientific Division. The reason for their visit? The Cult of Scratchwood. Guest starring Rory Stock as Davros.
The Cult of Scratchwood - Adjudication of the Daleks
YouTube video by Mattaf Productions
youtu.be
January 25, 2026 at 8:07 PM
Out now for Channel Members and Tuesday at 7pm for everyone else! Several years ago on the planet Skaro, Davros receives a visit from the Dalek Supreme and Dalek Drell of the Special Scientific Division. The reason for their visit? The Cult of Scratchwood. Guest starring Rory Stock as Davros.
Going to attempt to avoid circling the drain by doing some editing today. Nothing like Daleks to make you feel safe on a psychological level!
January 25, 2026 at 9:55 AM
Going to attempt to avoid circling the drain by doing some editing today. Nothing like Daleks to make you feel safe on a psychological level!