Helen
@heldutson.bsky.social
Writing a gothic horror for the True Crime podcasting era
I don't get people who write cards like this:
"To Jim,
Christmas Wishes,
Margaret."
Mine are more like:
"Dearest friend,
This Christmas, please remember I love you more than life itself. You are the finest person ever to exist. Remember when we were seven and you sneezed in my face -"
"To Jim,
Christmas Wishes,
Margaret."
Mine are more like:
"Dearest friend,
This Christmas, please remember I love you more than life itself. You are the finest person ever to exist. Remember when we were seven and you sneezed in my face -"
December 22, 2025 at 4:36 PM
I don't get people who write cards like this:
"To Jim,
Christmas Wishes,
Margaret."
Mine are more like:
"Dearest friend,
This Christmas, please remember I love you more than life itself. You are the finest person ever to exist. Remember when we were seven and you sneezed in my face -"
"To Jim,
Christmas Wishes,
Margaret."
Mine are more like:
"Dearest friend,
This Christmas, please remember I love you more than life itself. You are the finest person ever to exist. Remember when we were seven and you sneezed in my face -"
Tom came up with a new joke please clap:
Q: What did Santa say when he slipped over on the roof?
A: "It's reindeer!"
Q: What did Santa say when he slipped over on the roof?
A: "It's reindeer!"
December 22, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Tom came up with a new joke please clap:
Q: What did Santa say when he slipped over on the roof?
A: "It's reindeer!"
Q: What did Santa say when he slipped over on the roof?
A: "It's reindeer!"
Why are people bothering with ChatGPT for more humanised responses when you can literally just add the word "Reddit" after your search term
December 18, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Why are people bothering with ChatGPT for more humanised responses when you can literally just add the word "Reddit" after your search term
I think we should seriously considering announcing that we'll eat the first trillionaire. Might make them think twice
Look all I’m saying is the Dutch have eaten one of their politicians AND his brother before. We need to catch up.
December 18, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I think we should seriously considering announcing that we'll eat the first trillionaire. Might make them think twice
Reposted by Helen
Quite moved to report that Fleming ends the entire Bond saga with A RECIPE FOR SCRAMBLED EGGS
December 15, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Quite moved to report that Fleming ends the entire Bond saga with A RECIPE FOR SCRAMBLED EGGS
Reposted by Helen
I worked at Argos while at sixth form, and a customer once brought in a slice of bread as evidence his toaster wasn't working.
man i have never had as many stupid questions as when i worked at Lush, just thinking about it now and we really put retail workers Through It don't we
December 16, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I worked at Argos while at sixth form, and a customer once brought in a slice of bread as evidence his toaster wasn't working.
Reposted by Helen
we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫
December 15, 2025 at 5:11 PM
we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫
If you are in need of a new fav Christmas song may I interest you in Christmas in L.A. by Vulfpeck.
(video also has a delightful mid-2010s-internet-golden-era vibe)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5K3...
(video also has a delightful mid-2010s-internet-golden-era vibe)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5K3...
December 16, 2025 at 10:53 AM
If you are in need of a new fav Christmas song may I interest you in Christmas in L.A. by Vulfpeck.
(video also has a delightful mid-2010s-internet-golden-era vibe)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5K3...
(video also has a delightful mid-2010s-internet-golden-era vibe)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5K3...
Reposted by Helen
If you care about the future of life on Earth, please read this then sign and share. theconversation.com/what-we-told...
What we told UK leaders about climate and nature at a national emergency briefing
With so many influential people in the room, the hope was to see a tipping point in the engagement of political, faith, business and cultural leaders.
theconversation.com
December 12, 2025 at 11:23 AM
If you care about the future of life on Earth, please read this then sign and share. theconversation.com/what-we-told...
Reposted by Helen
Solidarity with the hunger strikers.
It is an egregious violation for them to be held on remand - without trial or conviction.
All for protesting against a genocide. Shameful.
It is an egregious violation for them to be held on remand - without trial or conviction.
All for protesting against a genocide. Shameful.
December 11, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Solidarity with the hunger strikers.
It is an egregious violation for them to be held on remand - without trial or conviction.
All for protesting against a genocide. Shameful.
It is an egregious violation for them to be held on remand - without trial or conviction.
All for protesting against a genocide. Shameful.
Reposted by Helen
I looked through my camera roll in case anyone asked for evidence of me working with Neil/Barry Scott and found this, I asked him to do a message for our agency's summer party and I literally have no idea why he started it like this lmao
December 11, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I looked through my camera roll in case anyone asked for evidence of me working with Neil/Barry Scott and found this, I asked him to do a message for our agency's summer party and I literally have no idea why he started it like this lmao
Did a brand shoot with Barry/Neil and what a professional and a gem that man is.
Absolutely tremendous stuff from this week's Popbitch
December 11, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Did a brand shoot with Barry/Neil and what a professional and a gem that man is.
Feeling wistful for the days I was Helen Sadbellend on Twitter.
December 5, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Feeling wistful for the days I was Helen Sadbellend on Twitter.
My bank did its own Wrapped where it was like "you logged into our app 600 times and spent an unusually large amount in October" and I'm just here to say out loud that nobody wants this
December 5, 2025 at 1:05 PM
My bank did its own Wrapped where it was like "you logged into our app 600 times and spent an unusually large amount in October" and I'm just here to say out loud that nobody wants this
Reposted by Helen
Simply having a wonderful alt text advent. Day four.
This is one wild festive theory we can wholeheartedly get behind. A joy to make it accessible to all! 🌜
This is one wild festive theory we can wholeheartedly get behind. A joy to make it accessible to all! 🌜
![A screenshot of a social media post from Ryan George, @theryangeorge. They write: “Paul McCartney’s ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ is about friends practicing witchcraft but then someone walks in and they have to suddenly play it cool.” Attached is a screenshot of the lyrics from the beginning of the song, reading: “The moon is right, the spirits up, we’re here tonight, and that’s enough.” Then, written all in caps: “Simply having a wonderful Christmastime, simply having a wonderful Christmastime.” There’s a red arrow pointing after the word “enough” with text annotating “[somebody walks in]” to suggest the singers were interrupted before launching into “Simply having a wonderful Christmastime” with gusto to deflect from their witchery. There is a Christmas tree shaped logo in the corner which says “Alt text advent” and the image is placed in a white border against a green background with falling snowflakes.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lzx7sojlxbth452ho5kyvdyd/bafkreibfkm7orjyyb4sumlat3xyn32jc246ylpcy4gymago6lasvifv7ne@jpeg)
December 4, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Simply having a wonderful alt text advent. Day four.
This is one wild festive theory we can wholeheartedly get behind. A joy to make it accessible to all! 🌜
This is one wild festive theory we can wholeheartedly get behind. A joy to make it accessible to all! 🌜
Reposted by Helen
Anyone else's Spotify Wrapped got them bang to rights? 🤘
December 4, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Anyone else's Spotify Wrapped got them bang to rights? 🤘
Guess whose Spotify Wrapped
December 4, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Guess whose Spotify Wrapped
Reposted by Helen
Reposted by Helen
Alt text advent, day one.
A classic of the genre, now with alt text to match. 🎅
A classic of the genre, now with alt text to match. 🎅
December 1, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Alt text advent, day one.
A classic of the genre, now with alt text to match. 🎅
A classic of the genre, now with alt text to match. 🎅
Reposted by Helen
new favourite New York Times term for a British thing just dropped
November 26, 2025 at 10:05 AM
new favourite New York Times term for a British thing just dropped
Only smear test appointment they had was on Christmas Eve. Festive
November 25, 2025 at 10:09 AM
Only smear test appointment they had was on Christmas Eve. Festive
Reposted by Helen
Our cat went for a walk this morning.
November 20, 2025 at 8:26 AM
Our cat went for a walk this morning.
Reposted by Helen
I was ~halfway through and loving it so I bought it for my friend and he was loving it. And then I finished it and I was like ohhh fuck what do I tell my friend
November 20, 2025 at 7:13 AM
I was ~halfway through and loving it so I bought it for my friend and he was loving it. And then I finished it and I was like ohhh fuck what do I tell my friend
I left a year ago and it certain felt like I'd stayed way too long. I know some of you are still on there and I do judge you a wee bit tbh
I quit the former Twitter two years ago this week, and I am here to tell you that my online life got a lot better for having left it. In two years I've not been tempted to go back, and I haven't felt any penalty in either career or community for not being there. It's nice to be here and not there.
November 19, 2025 at 10:26 AM
I left a year ago and it certain felt like I'd stayed way too long. I know some of you are still on there and I do judge you a wee bit tbh
Reposted by Helen
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png