Helen
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heldutson.bsky.social
Helen
@heldutson.bsky.social
280 followers 170 following 200 posts
Writing a gothic horror for the True Crime podcasting era
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heldutson.bsky.social
I don't know if there is an oldest selfie from your phone thing going around but I'm delighted that the oldest selfie in my photos is this, from March 2011.

Posing with my poor injured dog and proving once and for all that MySpace is a mindset not a website
21 year old me posing with my dear old collie dog, Albert, who has a blue bandage on his paw. We're both sitting on an armchair and I am snuggled up to him, eyes performatively closed, wearing a Red Hot Chilli Peppers t-shirt. His expression is suitably baffled.
November 4, 2025 at 4:57 PM
heldutson.bsky.social
Rubbish post but does anyone know what this is? A pokemon?? I need it for a work thing and REFUSE to use AI
A yellow dinosaur bird type thing, it looks like a baby hatching from an egg, it has a big pink mouth opening, like it's ready for food, and a little orange quiff on top of its head. It waves its tiny wings as it cries out.
October 29, 2025 at 5:57 PM
heldutson.bsky.social
Perhaps you'd judge these folk for putting their Christmas decs up before Halloween.

But I'll follow up with the final result in a few weeks and I promise you will *understand*
A cottage in a row of stone terraces, with Christmas decorations uo including a light up snowman, stars, a wreath, a shooting star and a sign that says "It's the most wonderful time of the year."
October 29, 2025 at 2:28 PM
heldutson.bsky.social
Seriously you're missing out some serious Posting if you're not following me on substack
Screenshot of a substack note from me, reading: "Buying lots of identical pairs of socks saves time, but it does make me agonise about whether I'm pairing the right socks together. Like, do they know each other? What if it's awkward."
September 24, 2025 at 4:58 PM
heldutson.bsky.social
Lads why are we struggling away on Bluesky when there are people Posting, yes, really Posting, on Substack?
A screenshot of my Substack profile: @heldutson. There's a profile pic of me, a white woman with brown hair and brown eyes with sunlight dappled on my face. My cover photo is a close up of a rock with moss and lichen in lots of shades of green and brown. There's a post on my profile reading: "I did not realise you could Post on substack. This changes everything."
September 23, 2025 at 5:08 PM
heldutson.bsky.social
Not a GIF but watching the very first scene as an 11 year old changed my brain chemistry.

"Its tongue weighs as much as an elephant. Its heart is the size of a car. And some of its blood vessels are so wide, that you could swim down them."
Screenshot of the opening of the very first episode of Blue Planet. A blue whale shot from above, looking like a sleek grey torpedo against a very dark, very still green ocean. Even its huge size is dwarfed by the water around it. A mist of spray flies from its blowhole.
May 2, 2025 at 9:40 AM
heldutson.bsky.social
If you're wondering when it's officially the start of spring, it's actually on "little baby having her first sunbathe of the year" day
My dog, Lola, sunbathing on a patio. She's a black mixed breed who looks a lot like a very leggy Labrador mixed with some sort of lurcher. She's lying on the sun-warmed stone with her head up, surveying her surroundings. In her element. There's a lawn and a high brick wall with a washing line behind her.
February 28, 2025 at 5:00 PM
heldutson.bsky.social
Every time I watch a Robert Eggers film I think about the tweet that said he looks like he knows what Greggs is. Like, appreciate he's American and the master of dread etc but this is surely a man whose mates call him 'Eggers' because his mum put an egg in his packed lunch when he was 12.
Robert Eggers. He has black, cropped hair that's longer on the top and shaved at the sides, and a neat beard and moustache. He's wearing a dark blue denim shirt and looking into the camera flash with an arched eyebrow, like someone posing for a club photographer on a night out with the lads in Leeds. It's hard to explain but the man looks like he lives in a Barratt Home with a labradoodle called Bailey.
February 19, 2025 at 10:00 AM
heldutson.bsky.social
My MOH did this at my hen do with my tweets and I couldn't think of a more perfect activity if I'm honest.

(Guesses to fill in the blank welcome)
My maid of honour holding up a pile of papers, the one on the top is a tweet from me which says "Dogs don't get [blank] do they. Must be nice." The tweet is set against a blue background with white Twitter birds (remember them). A bit of her face is visible in the corner, she has red hair with a blonde streak at the front, and back eyeliner on.
December 13, 2024 at 9:36 AM
heldutson.bsky.social
What going on Twitter feels like now
Simpsons screenshot - Milhouse crawling out of Homer's improvised play area made of mattresses and such. He says: "It smells funny in there."
November 29, 2024 at 1:12 PM