Derek B
@tanpants.bsky.social
delightful, Oregonian, delightful Oregonian
Pinned
Derek B
@tanpants.bsky.social
· Aug 18
"Gonna stay more positive here than I was on the other place"
*scrolls for 10 seconds*
"Well, get a load of this dickhead"
*scrolls for 10 seconds*
"Well, get a load of this dickhead"
Reposted by Derek B
Frankenstein, or: Maybe You Shouldn't Have Built That Weird Man
November 23, 2025 at 7:08 AM
Frankenstein, or: Maybe You Shouldn't Have Built That Weird Man
Had to put my 16 year-old cat down yesterday and what bothered me most about it was the drive to the appt. I was basically Sylvio & he was Adriana.
November 22, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Had to put my 16 year-old cat down yesterday and what bothered me most about it was the drive to the appt. I was basically Sylvio & he was Adriana.
Reposted by Derek B
Kyle Kingsbury is not a journalist. He is not an op-ed writer.
He is a computer safety researcher.
And he has written one of the most compelling, comprehensive accounts of the ongoing hell in Chicago that you could possibly imagine.
In under 1600 words.
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
He is a computer safety researcher.
And he has written one of the most compelling, comprehensive accounts of the ongoing hell in Chicago that you could possibly imagine.
In under 1600 words.
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
November 9, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Kyle Kingsbury is not a journalist. He is not an op-ed writer.
He is a computer safety researcher.
And he has written one of the most compelling, comprehensive accounts of the ongoing hell in Chicago that you could possibly imagine.
In under 1600 words.
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
He is a computer safety researcher.
And he has written one of the most compelling, comprehensive accounts of the ongoing hell in Chicago that you could possibly imagine.
In under 1600 words.
aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...
Reposted by Derek B
The model of holding individual senators responsible is broken here. The retirees clearly agreed to take the fall. Which is why the nos should get no credit for voting no unless they move to oust Schumer
November 10, 2025 at 3:20 AM
The model of holding individual senators responsible is broken here. The retirees clearly agreed to take the fall. Which is why the nos should get no credit for voting no unless they move to oust Schumer
Reposted by Derek B
"Dems cannot successfully cave because John Cornyn got trapped in a broom closet" would be easily the funniest way for tonight to end
Update: They can't find Cornyn.
November 10, 2025 at 3:02 AM
"Dems cannot successfully cave because John Cornyn got trapped in a broom closet" would be easily the funniest way for tonight to end
Screw the press conferences being called from those who voted yes. I want press conferences from those who voted no. I want to hear their opinion of Dem leadership in the Senate—if you're not calling for Schumer/Durbin to be yeeted, you've failed.
November 10, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Screw the press conferences being called from those who voted yes. I want press conferences from those who voted no. I want to hear their opinion of Dem leadership in the Senate—if you're not calling for Schumer/Durbin to be yeeted, you've failed.
Reposted by Derek B
Did ChatGPT tell the Democratic Party to kill itself??
November 9, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Did ChatGPT tell the Democratic Party to kill itself??
Reposted by Derek B
I found it- the most embarrassing poster’s chat
November 9, 2025 at 9:52 AM
I found it- the most embarrassing poster’s chat
Reposted by Derek B
SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom.
PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom.
DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers
PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom.
DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers
November 8, 2025 at 1:45 AM
SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom.
PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom.
DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers
PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom.
DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers
Coffee & a cigarette? Great.
Coffee w/ milk & a cigarette? Also great.
Milk & a cigarette? Get the fuck outta here.
Coffee w/ milk & a cigarette? Also great.
Milk & a cigarette? Get the fuck outta here.
November 8, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Coffee & a cigarette? Great.
Coffee w/ milk & a cigarette? Also great.
Milk & a cigarette? Get the fuck outta here.
Coffee w/ milk & a cigarette? Also great.
Milk & a cigarette? Get the fuck outta here.
Funny phrasing in this headline—Made a $12 Billion Loss.
"Ya'll are just a bunch of takers while I and my cohort are the *makers* in this country. For example, my company MADE negative 12 billion in one quarter."
"Ya'll are just a bunch of takers while I and my cohort are the *makers* in this country. For example, my company MADE negative 12 billion in one quarter."
ICYMI: Microsoft’s charge “implies a more than $12 billion quarterly loss at OpenAI, said Firoz Valliji, an analyst at Bernstein.”
That “would mark one of the largest single-quarter losses for a tech company in history.”
@jessefelder.bsky.social $MSFT
www.wsj.com/livecoverage...
That “would mark one of the largest single-quarter losses for a tech company in history.”
@jessefelder.bsky.social $MSFT
www.wsj.com/livecoverage...
November 7, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Funny phrasing in this headline—Made a $12 Billion Loss.
"Ya'll are just a bunch of takers while I and my cohort are the *makers* in this country. For example, my company MADE negative 12 billion in one quarter."
"Ya'll are just a bunch of takers while I and my cohort are the *makers* in this country. For example, my company MADE negative 12 billion in one quarter."
Reposted by Derek B
“0% woke shit”
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
November 7, 2025 at 7:59 PM
“0% woke shit”
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
Rhea Seehorn just killing it on Pluribus, basically carrying the first two installments. In ep 2, she flashes some comedic chops that I didn't even realize she had. Loving this show so far. #pluribus
November 7, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Rhea Seehorn just killing it on Pluribus, basically carrying the first two installments. In ep 2, she flashes some comedic chops that I didn't even realize she had. Loving this show so far. #pluribus
Reposted by Derek B
🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.
November 6, 2025 at 7:25 PM
🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.
Reposted by Derek B
The president, who routinely lies about his weight, held an event with two top health officials (a TV doctor and a guy who had a worm in his brain). The event, centered on drugs that make it unnecessary to exercise to lose weight, was interrupted when one of the elderly men attending fainted.
holy shit -- one of Trump's toadies just passed out and the White House event is brought to an abrupt end
November 6, 2025 at 6:01 PM
The president, who routinely lies about his weight, held an event with two top health officials (a TV doctor and a guy who had a worm in his brain). The event, centered on drugs that make it unnecessary to exercise to lose weight, was interrupted when one of the elderly men attending fainted.
Reposted by Derek B
📽️ WATCH: We reviewed 700+ videos, hours of footage from ICE protesters and counterprotesters in Portland.
Trump justified the deployment of National Guard troops by calling the city "War ravaged," with an ICE office under siege. That's not what we found.
🔗 Full story: https://propub.li/43fRCmF
Trump justified the deployment of National Guard troops by calling the city "War ravaged," with an ICE office under siege. That's not what we found.
🔗 Full story: https://propub.li/43fRCmF
November 6, 2025 at 4:01 AM
📽️ WATCH: We reviewed 700+ videos, hours of footage from ICE protesters and counterprotesters in Portland.
Trump justified the deployment of National Guard troops by calling the city "War ravaged," with an ICE office under siege. That's not what we found.
🔗 Full story: https://propub.li/43fRCmF
Trump justified the deployment of National Guard troops by calling the city "War ravaged," with an ICE office under siege. That's not what we found.
🔗 Full story: https://propub.li/43fRCmF
Reposted by Derek B
“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”
November 5, 2025 at 4:22 AM
“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”
Reposted by Derek B
I’m told that the results of a single election reflect a perfect, unchanging, and inescapable spirit of the Volk, so I will expect us all to start respecting the American people’s desire for Woke Maximalism.
November 5, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I’m told that the results of a single election reflect a perfect, unchanging, and inescapable spirit of the Volk, so I will expect us all to start respecting the American people’s desire for Woke Maximalism.
IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IN THERE?!
November 2, 2025 at 6:23 AM
IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IN THERE?!
Had to pop a lorazepam and I don't even care who wins
November 2, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Had to pop a lorazepam and I don't even care who wins
Reposted by Derek B
Over on Twitter, I bet they are also all watching the game but every time something happens someone blames it on Jewish people.
November 2, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Over on Twitter, I bet they are also all watching the game but every time something happens someone blames it on Jewish people.
Definitely the weirdest WS, if nothing else.
November 2, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Definitely the weirdest WS, if nothing else.
Reposted by Derek B
Baseball player physiognomies:
-I smoke weed
-cultured apex asethete
-dan from jiffy lube
-I smoke weed
-cultured apex asethete
-dan from jiffy lube
November 2, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Baseball player physiognomies:
-I smoke weed
-cultured apex asethete
-dan from jiffy lube
-I smoke weed
-cultured apex asethete
-dan from jiffy lube