Tallulah Bunkbed
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tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social
Tallulah Bunkbed
@tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social
Basically, a cat toy. I'm the Artemisia Gentileschi of swearing. No crypto or MAGA. Peddle that shit somewhere else.

Divorce your MAGA husband. He secretly hates you.
Utterly gobsmacked: that bullshit spreadsheet building I did for an unnamed university turns out to be the skill the food pantry desperately needs

Fuck!
November 13, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Happy Felix Unger Day to all

Hope you rested up
The Odd Couple TV Show Opening Theme Season Two 1970
YouTube video by retrorebirth
youtu.be
November 13, 2025 at 1:32 PM
I am going to need a nap before I consider your request/demand/death threat
November 13, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Can't talk now, deviled ham
November 11, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Reposted by Tallulah Bunkbed
My sweet Emily! Where are my fucking East Coast fosters for her? Why is she getting a Euth command? She’ll be taken out in a fucking trash bag guys! Come on! Pls apply for her! I can’t let her be murdered! Pls repost her!
November 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Divorce or murder
mrs d says she lost a lot of her sense of taste to covid, so imma play a joke tomorrow and make her a pot of coffee with this here hot dog water
November 10, 2025 at 12:45 AM
It's so weird that grocery store reading glasses cost more money like we wouldn't notice cake mix boxes shrank
November 9, 2025 at 11:57 PM
"Could you point me in the direction of your finest box wine?" I asked the sample sommalier
November 9, 2025 at 11:04 PM
It is the Season of Glorious Snot

Please eck eck eck in a professional manner
November 7, 2025 at 4:35 AM
When someone splashes mayo on your fasc vest you can remove the stain with dry shampoo you let set for an hour or you can quit being a fascist and toss out the vest
There is a downside to all this. Now DHS has to spend beaucoup tax dollars to buy hoagie-proof vests. Joke's on us!
November 6, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Someday we'll know the answers to Life's mysteries like why is "Two Tickets to Paradise" playing on the mental jukebox
November 6, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Sometimes I find him by following the trail of Sun Chip crumbs
November 4, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Don't necessarily believe in Hell, but I have *hope*
Dick: Fuck it's hot here.
Charlie: Yeah it is.
Henry: So fucking hot.
Rush: I could use some oxy.
November 4, 2025 at 2:29 PM
My grandfather had been dead for years when we found a box of his stuff and his Timex watch was still ticking

Got a plan for when your watches outlive you?
November 1, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Got 10,000 steps today, 4000 of which were from the couch to the front door to hand out candy

I'm so fit
November 1, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Ready as I'll ever be, but is it enough?
October 31, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Do you like nine people?
October 30, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Not enough things make their own gravy
October 30, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Gleaning means your neighbors eat and your farmers have clean fields

This map will help you find farms local to you
New Jersey Gleaning Organizations, NJ Food Recovery Organizations
Find gleaning and food recovery organizations in New Jersey with an interactive map and detailed listings.
nationalgleaningproject.org
October 28, 2025 at 11:07 PM
If there is a God I wonder if it has grown bored with waiting for us to understand sourdough starters
October 27, 2025 at 11:04 PM
For National Black Cat Day, please join me in adoring lovely and brilliant Wednesday, who is blind and my attentive supervisor.
October 27, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Reposted by Tallulah Bunkbed
what’s medusa’s favorite cheese? gorgon-zola! hahaha, someone has shot me
October 27, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Heard a Billy Joel song yesterday

Still annoyed about it
October 27, 2025 at 6:03 PM