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strumpet.bsky.social
STRUMPET❗️
@strumpet.bsky.social
✨doom & gloom, but in a fun way✨
She/Her
♑️ & Queer 🏳️‍🌈Polyaromy Person
🏳️‍⚧️ Ally
Just Be a Good Human ffs!
My Void Screams:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rsaikmv4hkax6iade4oktvng/feed/aaac3muwv7jjy
Pinned
I liked me better when I still had hope in humanity.
@sluggodoug.bsky.social
I won all sevens with “desperate, but not serious” Now, can you please write a note to my boss saying that I absolutely need at least two days off for that big win! 😂
November 14, 2025 at 2:20 PM
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*pointing to my palm* see, this line means i’ll cry if i’m still wearing a bra after 5pm
October 18, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Props make the costume

PUT YOUR HAND IN THE BOX!
October 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I am surviving the horrors by:
🍔 Ordering Uber Eats (way too fucking often)
🍸 Drinking vodka
🥬 Smoking pot
😈 Having kinky sex

— and sometimes—
Doing the above all on the same day but in reverse order 🥇
October 9, 2025 at 11:06 PM
My new job is super busy but I also get to order cadaver parts for some of my meetings…so that’s cool
October 9, 2025 at 10:59 PM
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October 9, 2025 at 10:32 PM
October 9, 2025 at 10:57 PM
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my slutty schrödinger halloween costume may or may not be all finished
October 8, 2025 at 1:38 PM
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this fresh hell tastes store bought
October 8, 2025 at 2:07 PM
When I interact with my tawtter friends from 10+ yrs ago I feel like we have just reconnected in the local retirement home.
September 27, 2025 at 2:58 PM
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I don’t wear a big coat to mule snacks into the movie theater because I can sit through an hour & a half presentation without stuffing garbage into my face hole.
Also because I mule them in in my ass. And also I hate big coats.
September 27, 2025 at 2:26 PM
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What a weird-ass Rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.
September 24, 2025 at 10:53 PM
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Goading the conspiracy theorists by telling them the name Tyler means the mother took Tylenol while pregnant.
September 25, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Pretty sure the Rapture is actual for sexual deviants, I mean the name & requisite nudity says it all.

I know you will all miss me when I join the great sky orgy.
September 23, 2025 at 11:49 AM
If I get raptured: I know there is a special Heaven for meeting planners. It is as sexy as Hell but you can only participate while wearing a headset, and making sure that everyone else is happy.
September 23, 2025 at 12:15 AM
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My Boss: [patiently explaining something to me]

My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE
September 22, 2025 at 9:10 PM
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Grinder crashes in the same city of the kuck memorial
Gayer than football
September 22, 2025 at 2:04 AM
13 years ago I fell in love with
A gender fluid person. 11 years ago I fell in love with a trans person. When people say trans people are magic, it’s true. My girlfriend is the most magical person I’ve ever met in my life. I love her beyond time and space. I will fight for her no matter what.
September 22, 2025 at 11:56 PM
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*my funeral

son: I guess we're going to need our own phone plan
September 20, 2025 at 2:07 AM
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They're getting rid of all the late shows so we'll have time for that third job.
September 18, 2025 at 1:18 AM
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I'm whatever Myers-Briggs type immediately forgets their Myers-Briggs type despite being given the official test three separate times.
September 17, 2025 at 8:30 AM
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Real Housewives of Denny's
September 16, 2025 at 2:51 PM
If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky
September 16, 2025 at 1:06 AM
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Martinis go down quicker the more of them you drink
September 16, 2025 at 12:09 AM
There may not be a god. But someone blessed me with the invention of hotel blackout curtains so I am willing to remain open minded.
September 16, 2025 at 12:20 AM