Steve B
@stevebasnett.bsky.social
Post other people's funny, gags from pro comedians, and my own tat. New stuff every day. Also support outstanding investigative journalists and their work.
Pinned
Steve B
@stevebasnett.bsky.social
· Jul 3
An apology from me to ALT text users.
I usually add descriptions which include humour to pics I upload, but I got some basics wrong:
It should NOT include:
"picture of"
"image of"
Screen readers announce an image as an image. “Image of a cat” would be read aloud as “image, Image of a cat”.
1/2
I usually add descriptions which include humour to pics I upload, but I got some basics wrong:
It should NOT include:
"picture of"
"image of"
Screen readers announce an image as an image. “Image of a cat” would be read aloud as “image, Image of a cat”.
1/2
Netanyahu: "Aw."
This is funny, and possibly important. But if Putin can’t even take half of Ukraine, how is he going to get through Poland and the Baltics? Let alone Germany, France and UK. Some crayon filled naïveté at play
January 4, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Netanyahu: "Aw."
Otto fact of the day:
The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates:
1 in 6 US citizens suffers a food-borne illness annually
1 in 132 in the UK.
----
Eggsit Benefit
If Trump gets his way again:
Substandard chicken in the UK
UK poultry farms royally screwed
Benefit: US farmers
The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates:
1 in 6 US citizens suffers a food-borne illness annually
1 in 132 in the UK.
----
Eggsit Benefit
If Trump gets his way again:
Substandard chicken in the UK
UK poultry farms royally screwed
Benefit: US farmers
US chicken is chlorinated because America has no animal welfare laws where poultry is concerned. It has to be chlorinated because Salmonella and e. coli run rife
The EU banned that practice in 1997 and as such the UK has among the highest welfare and standards in the world. 1/2
The EU banned that practice in 1997 and as such the UK has among the highest welfare and standards in the world. 1/2
January 4, 2026 at 4:36 PM
Otto fact of the day:
The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates:
1 in 6 US citizens suffers a food-borne illness annually
1 in 132 in the UK.
----
Eggsit Benefit
If Trump gets his way again:
Substandard chicken in the UK
UK poultry farms royally screwed
Benefit: US farmers
The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates:
1 in 6 US citizens suffers a food-borne illness annually
1 in 132 in the UK.
----
Eggsit Benefit
If Trump gets his way again:
Substandard chicken in the UK
UK poultry farms royally screwed
Benefit: US farmers
Reposted by Steve B
This whole thread is great
Me while decorating the tree: I should put the Christmas ornaments a couple feet off the ground so the cats can’t get them.
The cat:
The cat:
December 17, 2025 at 4:07 AM
This whole thread is great
If The Citizens recommend someone, they're really worth paying attention to.
Professor Tamsin Shaw now followed @professorshaw.bsky.social.
Professor Tamsin Shaw now followed @professorshaw.bsky.social.
3/ One listen 🎧
Friend of the Citizens Tamsin Shaw @professorshaw.bsky.social is an expert on psychological manipulation and politics. Here she shares how we are all targets for influence operations. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/h...
Friend of the Citizens Tamsin Shaw @professorshaw.bsky.social is an expert on psychological manipulation and politics. Here she shares how we are all targets for influence operations. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/h...
How We're Targets for Influence Operations (with Tamsin Shaw)
Podcast Episode · Mission Implausible · 14/12/2025 · 51m
podcasts.apple.com
January 4, 2026 at 3:59 PM
If The Citizens recommend someone, they're really worth paying attention to.
Professor Tamsin Shaw now followed @professorshaw.bsky.social.
Professor Tamsin Shaw now followed @professorshaw.bsky.social.
Reposted by Steve B
Reasons to be cheerful? What about the first Stewart Lee column of 2026.
"I feel for the police, who as well as taking down details of robberies....now have to act as experts in semantics. That's what I call multitasking." How do we live in a world where the meaning of words changes over time.
"I feel for the police, who as well as taking down details of robberies....now have to act as experts in semantics. That's what I call multitasking." How do we live in a world where the meaning of words changes over time.
January 4, 2026 at 11:49 AM
Reasons to be cheerful? What about the first Stewart Lee column of 2026.
"I feel for the police, who as well as taking down details of robberies....now have to act as experts in semantics. That's what I call multitasking." How do we live in a world where the meaning of words changes over time.
"I feel for the police, who as well as taking down details of robberies....now have to act as experts in semantics. That's what I call multitasking." How do we live in a world where the meaning of words changes over time.
INTERVIEWER: You had a well respected career.
ME: That should say carer.
ME: That should say carer.
January 4, 2026 at 3:41 PM
INTERVIEWER: You had a well respected career.
ME: That should say carer.
ME: That should say carer.
The US does not negotiate with its terrorist government.
January 4, 2026 at 3:27 PM
The US does not negotiate with its terrorist government.
Banksy's 'Happy Chopper' first appeared in 2002 as a sprayed mural in Central London at the Whitecross Street Market.
Today, is the pink bow orange?
Assuring Venezuelans they'll be taken care of?
Running their country? Or ruining it?
While thieving their resources and leaving them nothing?
Today, is the pink bow orange?
Assuring Venezuelans they'll be taken care of?
Running their country? Or ruining it?
While thieving their resources and leaving them nothing?
January 4, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Banksy's 'Happy Chopper' first appeared in 2002 as a sprayed mural in Central London at the Whitecross Street Market.
Today, is the pink bow orange?
Assuring Venezuelans they'll be taken care of?
Running their country? Or ruining it?
While thieving their resources and leaving them nothing?
Today, is the pink bow orange?
Assuring Venezuelans they'll be taken care of?
Running their country? Or ruining it?
While thieving their resources and leaving them nothing?
Happy Choppers. Banksy.
(2004 version)
(2004 version)
January 4, 2026 at 2:40 PM
Happy Choppers. Banksy.
(2004 version)
(2004 version)
If anyone tries to deny what happened, Bellingcat is becoming exceptional at gathering evidence arrays which means they can't make it go away.
"One video shows what appears to be 9 helicopters, including 7 Blackhawks and 2 Chinooks, flying in formation in the Fort Tiuna area as explosions occur."
"One video shows what appears to be 9 helicopters, including 7 Blackhawks and 2 Chinooks, flying in formation in the Fort Tiuna area as explosions occur."
The US military conducted an operation on Jan 3 to capture President Nicolás Maduro of Venezuela. Bellingcat geolocated videos of helicopters involved in the raid, piecing together potential movements of the assault force
January 4, 2026 at 2:27 PM
If anyone tries to deny what happened, Bellingcat is becoming exceptional at gathering evidence arrays which means they can't make it go away.
"One video shows what appears to be 9 helicopters, including 7 Blackhawks and 2 Chinooks, flying in formation in the Fort Tiuna area as explosions occur."
"One video shows what appears to be 9 helicopters, including 7 Blackhawks and 2 Chinooks, flying in formation in the Fort Tiuna area as explosions occur."
Reposted by Steve B
A homeless guy asked me for some money today..
I looked in my pocket and all I had was a tenner.
"Do I really want this money going to drugs?", I thought to myself.
"Nah." So I gave him the tenner.
I looked in my pocket and all I had was a tenner.
"Do I really want this money going to drugs?", I thought to myself.
"Nah." So I gave him the tenner.
January 4, 2026 at 12:51 PM
A homeless guy asked me for some money today..
I looked in my pocket and all I had was a tenner.
"Do I really want this money going to drugs?", I thought to myself.
"Nah." So I gave him the tenner.
I looked in my pocket and all I had was a tenner.
"Do I really want this money going to drugs?", I thought to myself.
"Nah." So I gave him the tenner.
Reposted by Steve B
Waiter: Can I take your order?
Me: Sure!
Waiter: Thanks, I'm just really hungry.
Me: Sure!
Waiter: Thanks, I'm just really hungry.
January 4, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Waiter: Can I take your order?
Me: Sure!
Waiter: Thanks, I'm just really hungry.
Me: Sure!
Waiter: Thanks, I'm just really hungry.
I've ordered you a St Bernard top up, John.
January 4, 2026 at 1:35 PM
I've ordered you a St Bernard top up, John.
QUALITY CONTROL: Nah. Leave it. Got viral written all over it.
What kind of messages does this send to kids, eh??? EHHH???
January 4, 2026 at 1:16 PM
QUALITY CONTROL: Nah. Leave it. Got viral written all over it.
Reposted by Steve B
Just once you’d like to see an interviewer reply with “I’ll take that as you’re unqualified for your job and support the illegal action and move on…”
January 4, 2026 at 11:08 AM
Just once you’d like to see an interviewer reply with “I’ll take that as you’re unqualified for your job and support the illegal action and move on…”
Reposted by Steve B
My car’s leaking oil on the drive, so if I get kidnapped in the next few days you know why.
January 4, 2026 at 10:58 AM
My car’s leaking oil on the drive, so if I get kidnapped in the next few days you know why.
First name Hugh.
Happy Hugh Janus, everyone.
Happy Hugh Janus, everyone.
January takes its name from the Roman god Janus, who had two faces & could look forwards & backwards at the same time. He was also the first god to ever join a gym, but only went three times in two millennia
January 4, 2026 at 12:48 PM
First name Hugh.
Happy Hugh Janus, everyone.
Happy Hugh Janus, everyone.
Reposted by Steve B
And to think, I only joined bluesky to see everyone else's Wordle scores...
January 4, 2026 at 11:52 AM
And to think, I only joined bluesky to see everyone else's Wordle scores...
Reposted by Steve B
My mum phoned me up excitedly to say a body has been found behind their house. She's been up pestering the police and everything. I love it how supposedly mild mannered old ladies go full Marple.
January 4, 2026 at 11:46 AM
My mum phoned me up excitedly to say a body has been found behind their house. She's been up pestering the police and everything. I love it how supposedly mild mannered old ladies go full Marple.
"It'd be funnier if you took a bath with it."
Supertanskiii doesn't just walk away. No, Ma'm. Supertanskiii fizzes and crackles Musk right up his X-hole.
Supertanskiii doesn't just walk away. No, Ma'm. Supertanskiii fizzes and crackles Musk right up his X-hole.
Five years, 258,000 followers and much of that time enduring relentless abuse. Then, when musk took over, it escalated, extreme racism, extreme misogyny and zero guardrails.
Musk is a racist nazi nonce and I fucking hate him. This was my last comment and I wholeheartedly mean it
Musk is a racist nazi nonce and I fucking hate him. This was my last comment and I wholeheartedly mean it
January 4, 2026 at 12:34 PM
"It'd be funnier if you took a bath with it."
Supertanskiii doesn't just walk away. No, Ma'm. Supertanskiii fizzes and crackles Musk right up his X-hole.
Supertanskiii doesn't just walk away. No, Ma'm. Supertanskiii fizzes and crackles Musk right up his X-hole.
Reposted by Steve B
Until the last few days, NewsBiscuit used to have the tagline
"The news before it happens"
www.newsbiscuit.com/post/ice-age...
"The news before it happens"
www.newsbiscuit.com/post/ice-age...
ICE agents deport Maduro back to Venezuela
.
www.newsbiscuit.com
January 4, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Until the last few days, NewsBiscuit used to have the tagline
"The news before it happens"
www.newsbiscuit.com/post/ice-age...
"The news before it happens"
www.newsbiscuit.com/post/ice-age...
Reposted by Steve B
White House situation room:
*long silence*
"Put Maduro back and pretend it didn't happen?"
*long silence*
"Put Maduro back and pretend it didn't happen?"
January 4, 2026 at 11:30 AM
White House situation room:
*long silence*
"Put Maduro back and pretend it didn't happen?"
*long silence*
"Put Maduro back and pretend it didn't happen?"
Reposted by Steve B
…allyexpialidocius
fucking calligraphic
January 2, 2026 at 4:42 PM
…allyexpialidocius