Philip Seymour Nothing
@stagecoachslim.bsky.social
Beaten and left for dead in a creek bed by young toughs
Pinned
The thing about me is I just got my teeth cleaned, and now I think I'm better than everybody.
Goodbye Orange Cream Coke Zero. We hardly knew ye. All that's left are the crazy memories. You were only on this earth for a limited time.
February 8, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Goodbye Orange Cream Coke Zero. We hardly knew ye. All that's left are the crazy memories. You were only on this earth for a limited time.
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
Hit me up if you're looking for a podcast guest who is in no way interesting, amusing, or particularly well-informed on any topic.
December 30, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Hit me up if you're looking for a podcast guest who is in no way interesting, amusing, or particularly well-informed on any topic.
Am I depressed?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Did Big Country make guitars sound like bagpipes?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Did Big Country make guitars sound like bagpipes?
February 2, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Am I depressed?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Did Big Country make guitars sound like bagpipes?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Did Big Country make guitars sound like bagpipes?
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
Horrifying. ICE confirms measles outbreak at Dilley family detention center. www.cbsnews.com/news/ice-dil...
ICE halts "all movement" at Texas detention facility due to measles infections
The measles cases at the Dilley Immigration Processing Center were detected Friday, Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin said in a statement to CBS News.
www.cbsnews.com
February 2, 2026 at 4:31 AM
'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
My neighbor Randy saw his shadow today so it looks like we’ll be experiencing six more weeks of drunken front yard kung fu
February 2, 2025 at 5:32 PM
My neighbor Randy saw his shadow today so it looks like we’ll be experiencing six more weeks of drunken front yard kung fu
Look, I need something to write home about, so spare me that crap that's nothing to write home about.
February 1, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Look, I need something to write home about, so spare me that crap that's nothing to write home about.
The reason has been unearthed: Everyone hates me. Well done, everyone!
January 30, 2026 at 9:25 PM
The reason has been unearthed: Everyone hates me. Well done, everyone!
I enjoy Hershey Bars, and you're just going to have to sue me.
January 30, 2026 at 9:13 PM
I enjoy Hershey Bars, and you're just going to have to sue me.
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
greg bovino will replace dan bongino in the broadway adaptation of the bing bong brothers
January 27, 2026 at 1:28 AM
greg bovino will replace dan bongino in the broadway adaptation of the bing bong brothers
WHEN I SAY "DURAN!!"
YOU SAY "DURAN!!"
YOU SAY "DURAN!!"
January 27, 2026 at 5:41 AM
WHEN I SAY "DURAN!!"
YOU SAY "DURAN!!"
YOU SAY "DURAN!!"
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
I do think that a possibly underrated dynamic in The Horrors is that the Right as it has reconstituted itself under Trump legitimately can’t understand sincere moral or physical courage
January 26, 2026 at 2:13 AM
I do think that a possibly underrated dynamic in The Horrors is that the Right as it has reconstituted itself under Trump legitimately can’t understand sincere moral or physical courage
Perhaps you remember me from my '60s vocal group, The Shitty Lettermen.
January 24, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Perhaps you remember me from my '60s vocal group, The Shitty Lettermen.
Teenaged me used to imagine that Columbia House order pickers were marveling at my good taste in music.
January 22, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Teenaged me used to imagine that Columbia House order pickers were marveling at my good taste in music.
Note to future archeologists: This post was authored on the same evening as the college football championship game, thus creating an amusing brain vs. braun dichotomy. The reason for the lack of response is unknown.
January 20, 2026 at 3:47 AM
Note to future archeologists: This post was authored on the same evening as the college football championship game, thus creating an amusing brain vs. braun dichotomy. The reason for the lack of response is unknown.
As I understand it, there is a contest tonight that pits college against college. Well, may the most learned prevail!
January 20, 2026 at 3:32 AM
As I understand it, there is a contest tonight that pits college against college. Well, may the most learned prevail!
Well, it's Saturday night
You're all dressed up in blue
I been watching you a while
Did you use that dry shampoo?
You're all dressed up in blue
I been watching you a while
Did you use that dry shampoo?
January 18, 2026 at 4:05 AM
Well, it's Saturday night
You're all dressed up in blue
I been watching you a while
Did you use that dry shampoo?
You're all dressed up in blue
I been watching you a while
Did you use that dry shampoo?
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
Ruin a band by changing one letter:
Herman's Permits
Herman's Permits
Ruin a band by changing one letter:
The Yeastie Boys
The Yeastie Boys
Ruin a band by changing one letter:
Stashing Pumpkins
Stashing Pumpkins
January 17, 2026 at 4:37 AM
Ruin a band by changing one letter:
Herman's Permits
Herman's Permits
Notes from my visit to the Wendy's drive-thru in Sycamore Saturday night:
▪️The guy on the speaker taking orders sounds exactly like Jonah Hill.
▪️I spilled some Frosty on my key fob when going from my car to the house. My key fob might be the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life.
▪️The guy on the speaker taking orders sounds exactly like Jonah Hill.
▪️I spilled some Frosty on my key fob when going from my car to the house. My key fob might be the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life.
January 4, 2026 at 10:50 AM
Notes from my visit to the Wendy's drive-thru in Sycamore Saturday night:
▪️The guy on the speaker taking orders sounds exactly like Jonah Hill.
▪️I spilled some Frosty on my key fob when going from my car to the house. My key fob might be the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life.
▪️The guy on the speaker taking orders sounds exactly like Jonah Hill.
▪️I spilled some Frosty on my key fob when going from my car to the house. My key fob might be the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life.
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
[Me realizing Paul Giamatti is doing the voice of John Adams in the new Ken Burns Revolutionary War documentary] Oh FUCK yes
December 31, 2025 at 9:10 PM
[Me realizing Paul Giamatti is doing the voice of John Adams in the new Ken Burns Revolutionary War documentary] Oh FUCK yes
Hats off to the surgical nurses at Kishwaukee Hospital in DeKalb. One of them shaved my belly three and a half years ago, and the hair never came back!
December 31, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Hats off to the surgical nurses at Kishwaukee Hospital in DeKalb. One of them shaved my belly three and a half years ago, and the hair never came back!
Hit me up if you're looking for a podcast guest who is in no way interesting, amusing, or particularly well-informed on any topic.
December 30, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Hit me up if you're looking for a podcast guest who is in no way interesting, amusing, or particularly well-informed on any topic.
The way I dance like no one is watching is like someone is watching.
December 22, 2025 at 11:30 AM
The way I dance like no one is watching is like someone is watching.
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
i hope santa’s reindeer have been bulking up, i want a bathtub full of spaghetti and meatballs for christmas
December 13, 2025 at 5:45 PM
i hope santa’s reindeer have been bulking up, i want a bathtub full of spaghetti and meatballs for christmas
Reposted by Philip Seymour Nothing
Between shopping and wrapping and baking, I can’t keep up. Not to mention being trapped inside this haunted snow globe
December 19, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Between shopping and wrapping and baking, I can’t keep up. Not to mention being trapped inside this haunted snow globe