Samuel Theodore Eagle
@samuelteagle.bsky.social
ra-ra-ra-raurau
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Gheeraerts: Thomas, can you hold the helmet like a regular person?
Thomas: …
Thomas: …
2/2 Captain Thomas Lee: Ready for combat in Ireland in 1594 but seems to have forgotten his nether hose & shoes, alas! Still got painted by Marcus Gheeraerts, whose day is today.
January 19, 2026 at 11:38 PM
Gheeraerts: Thomas, can you hold the helmet like a regular person?
Thomas: …
Thomas: …
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Man goes to doctor.
Says “doctor, I am depressed, life just seems like hollow joke”.
Doctor says “well, whatever you do, don’t go see the so-called ‘great’ clown Pagliacci at the circus, I took my wife last night and boy does he suck ass, the idio…why are you crying?”
Says “doctor, I am depressed, life just seems like hollow joke”.
Doctor says “well, whatever you do, don’t go see the so-called ‘great’ clown Pagliacci at the circus, I took my wife last night and boy does he suck ass, the idio…why are you crying?”
January 19, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Man goes to doctor.
Says “doctor, I am depressed, life just seems like hollow joke”.
Doctor says “well, whatever you do, don’t go see the so-called ‘great’ clown Pagliacci at the circus, I took my wife last night and boy does he suck ass, the idio…why are you crying?”
Says “doctor, I am depressed, life just seems like hollow joke”.
Doctor says “well, whatever you do, don’t go see the so-called ‘great’ clown Pagliacci at the circus, I took my wife last night and boy does he suck ass, the idio…why are you crying?”
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
The Nobel Peace Prize becoming so prestigious that wars are fought over a head of state coveting it is some real monkey paw stuff for Alfred Nobel.
January 19, 2026 at 8:47 AM
The Nobel Peace Prize becoming so prestigious that wars are fought over a head of state coveting it is some real monkey paw stuff for Alfred Nobel.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Clorox coming out with a bold "huff bleach" ad campaign
January 18, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Clorox coming out with a bold "huff bleach" ad campaign
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
"They had an 'idiot' [baka] size so I ordered it and, true to word, received an idiotic serving of rice"
January 17, 2026 at 9:12 PM
"They had an 'idiot' [baka] size so I ordered it and, true to word, received an idiotic serving of rice"
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
I will think about this poem until I'm dead.
January 17, 2026 at 8:03 PM
I will think about this poem until I'm dead.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
- Boycott World Cup
- 16 team Euro champs instead
- Final in San Siro
- Pavarotti hologram for closing ceremony
- 16 team Euro champs instead
- Final in San Siro
- Pavarotti hologram for closing ceremony
January 17, 2026 at 7:01 PM
- Boycott World Cup
- 16 team Euro champs instead
- Final in San Siro
- Pavarotti hologram for closing ceremony
- 16 team Euro champs instead
- Final in San Siro
- Pavarotti hologram for closing ceremony
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Honestly, 2p on income tax and whack it all on defence at this point
January 17, 2026 at 7:58 PM
Honestly, 2p on income tax and whack it all on defence at this point
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
neolithic guys get pissed if you tell them their cultures are organized by the type of pots and jewelry they made. "we called ourselves the blood hunters" "we conquered villages far beyond this horizon" sorry bud you're the western linear pottery culture now
January 17, 2026 at 2:52 PM
neolithic guys get pissed if you tell them their cultures are organized by the type of pots and jewelry they made. "we called ourselves the blood hunters" "we conquered villages far beyond this horizon" sorry bud you're the western linear pottery culture now
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
“Blastoise”, pronounced like a New Orleans sugar baron’s surname
January 16, 2026 at 6:20 PM
“Blastoise”, pronounced like a New Orleans sugar baron’s surname
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
that shit's just fuckin' up there, huh?
January 15, 2026 at 5:32 PM
that shit's just fuckin' up there, huh?
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
But what if I were to disguise my weak joke as a Simpsons reference? Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, millennial man.
January 15, 2026 at 1:41 PM
But what if I were to disguise my weak joke as a Simpsons reference? Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, millennial man.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
I think the disconnect between Atlantic elites is that Americans think Donald Trump is a kid getting to drive a monster truck for Make A Wish and Europeans and Canadians think Donald Trump is the president of the United States.
January 14, 2026 at 11:59 PM
I think the disconnect between Atlantic elites is that Americans think Donald Trump is a kid getting to drive a monster truck for Make A Wish and Europeans and Canadians think Donald Trump is the president of the United States.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Oh to be a little Tardigrade walking across a microscope slide. 🫧🐻🧪
January 13, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Oh to be a little Tardigrade walking across a microscope slide. 🫧🐻🧪
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
it's pretty wild that the Swedes have been in NATO less than 2 years and are now somehow at "deploy quasi tripwire force against US aggression" stage
January 14, 2026 at 8:12 PM
it's pretty wild that the Swedes have been in NATO less than 2 years and are now somehow at "deploy quasi tripwire force against US aggression" stage
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Honestly this tweet is itself a complete argument for why the EU should pony up for serious defence spending and start providing Ukraine enough material to relentlessly crush Russia back to the 1992 borders so no one will ever call Russia a super power again.
We're in a real pickle.
There aren't any European flags on this.....
There aren't any European flags on this.....
January 14, 2026 at 7:37 PM
Honestly this tweet is itself a complete argument for why the EU should pony up for serious defence spending and start providing Ukraine enough material to relentlessly crush Russia back to the 1992 borders so no one will ever call Russia a super power again.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
This guy in particular seems worryingly unhinged.
January 14, 2026 at 3:14 PM
This guy in particular seems worryingly unhinged.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
"That's not a knife. This is a knife." - Crocodile Dundee's in-home carer at lunchtime. Gently, ever so gently.
January 14, 2026 at 2:49 PM
"That's not a knife. This is a knife." - Crocodile Dundee's in-home carer at lunchtime. Gently, ever so gently.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds
January 13, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
My baby's first word was "abracadabra" and then it vanished into thin air. I miss my child and the ensuing investigation was a bit of a hassle but god damn what a trick.
January 12, 2026 at 9:24 PM
My baby's first word was "abracadabra" and then it vanished into thin air. I miss my child and the ensuing investigation was a bit of a hassle but god damn what a trick.
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Reposted by Samuel Theodore Eagle
Minister of State Alex Norris tells the BBC he won't personally come off X because it's important for communicating with voters.
None of his tweets for the last month has more than 1000 views.
None of his tweets for the last month has more than 1000 views.
January 13, 2026 at 7:47 AM
Minister of State Alex Norris tells the BBC he won't personally come off X because it's important for communicating with voters.
None of his tweets for the last month has more than 1000 views.
None of his tweets for the last month has more than 1000 views.
Your second favourite aircraft?
January 12, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Your second favourite aircraft?
