Ryan
@ryansimmons.bsky.social
Writer/director at Secret Base - youtube.com/SecretBaseSBN
Twitch - twitch.tv/ryansimmons6ft6
Twitch - twitch.tv/ryansimmons6ft6
Moving out of the city and up into the Hudson Valley was so good for me and my wife. We have great nature trails, quaint shops, and now we live 5 minutes from the kidnapped leader of a sovereign nation
Captured Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has just landed at New York Stewart International Airport in Orange County. Now in U.S. custody, Maduro is expected to face charges in federal court.
January 3, 2026 at 10:09 PM
Moving out of the city and up into the Hudson Valley was so good for me and my wife. We have great nature trails, quaint shops, and now we live 5 minutes from the kidnapped leader of a sovereign nation
Reposted by Ryan
Reposted by Ryan
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
December 24, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
Reposted by Ryan
Reposted by Ryan
One of the best to ever do it
December 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
One of the best to ever do it
I thought Jim Belushi and his wife were staring at me on the subway until I realized they were studying the subway map over my shoulder
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I thought Jim Belushi and his wife were staring at me on the subway until I realized they were studying the subway map over my shoulder
Reposted by Ryan
Reposted by Ryan
Reposted by Ryan
We now have pop tarts kayfabe
December 28, 2025 at 12:14 AM
We now have pop tarts kayfabe
At this point, this can only mean one thing: Bolsonaro hid priceless jewels in the hospital framework while it was being built and is trying to retrieve them
I love this guy. Absolutely in love with going to the hospital.
December 28, 2025 at 12:08 AM
At this point, this can only mean one thing: Bolsonaro hid priceless jewels in the hospital framework while it was being built and is trying to retrieve them
Reposted by Ryan
Happy Pop-Tarts Bowl Day to all who celebrate
December 27, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Happy Pop-Tarts Bowl Day to all who celebrate
when I do a silly bit on the moving walkway for my unimpressed wife
I've been thinking about this sign for 6 months. a phrase I'll treasure forever. a metaphor with boundless potential
December 26, 2025 at 5:39 PM
when I do a silly bit on the moving walkway for my unimpressed wife
Reposted by Ryan
My wife was bragging when she realized this morning that, if she can make it to midnight, she’ll win Whamageddon this year
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
December 25, 2025 at 4:08 PM
My wife was bragging when she realized this morning that, if she can make it to midnight, she’ll win Whamageddon this year
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
Reposted by Ryan
oh I left my annually updating thread on twitter so I’ll start over here. My mother in law gives me the same rock every Christmas. I love my rock
December 25, 2024 at 2:35 PM
oh I left my annually updating thread on twitter so I’ll start over here. My mother in law gives me the same rock every Christmas. I love my rock
George Bailey: Merry Christmas you old Building and Loan!
Building and Loan:
Building and Loan:
a group of men are standing in a field and one of them is saying " i 'm 37 i 'm not old "
ALT: a group of men are standing in a field and one of them is saying " i 'm 37 i 'm not old "
media.tenor.com
December 25, 2025 at 6:09 PM
George Bailey: Merry Christmas you old Building and Loan!
Building and Loan:
Building and Loan:
My wife was bragging when she realized this morning that, if she can make it to midnight, she’ll win Whamageddon this year
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
December 25, 2025 at 4:08 PM
My wife was bragging when she realized this morning that, if she can make it to midnight, she’ll win Whamageddon this year
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
Why you would tell me that and then let me near your phone I have no idea
Reposted by Ryan
merry christmas to all who celebrate! if you are reading this you likely are looking for a distraction or break of some sort, so we’re here to support
youtu.be/BWa5lxhG0pM?...
youtu.be/BWa5lxhG0pM?...
Kobe and Shaq's super-hyped Christmas Day battle gets a deep rewind | 2004 Lakers vs. Heat
YouTube video by Secret Base
youtu.be
December 25, 2025 at 2:45 PM
merry christmas to all who celebrate! if you are reading this you likely are looking for a distraction or break of some sort, so we’re here to support
youtu.be/BWa5lxhG0pM?...
youtu.be/BWa5lxhG0pM?...
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
December 24, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.
Reposted by Ryan
Slapstick and terror on the high seas | Fool Time, Part 3 of 4
YouTube video by Secret Base
www.youtube.com
December 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
If it’s hard to read, here is alt text:
“Hello my pedophile friend! It’s me, the pedophile billionaire. Sorry to hear you are in prison in pedophilia - me too! But it’s okay, I’m not gonna be here for loooong 😉 Trump sure did like em young didn’t he. Anyway he’s president now. Life’s a bitch!! 😂”
“Hello my pedophile friend! It’s me, the pedophile billionaire. Sorry to hear you are in prison in pedophilia - me too! But it’s okay, I’m not gonna be here for loooong 😉 Trump sure did like em young didn’t he. Anyway he’s president now. Life’s a bitch!! 😂”
DOJ briefly uploaded this letter from Jeff Epstein to serial child molester Larry Nassar:
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
December 23, 2025 at 2:19 PM
If it’s hard to read, here is alt text:
“Hello my pedophile friend! It’s me, the pedophile billionaire. Sorry to hear you are in prison in pedophilia - me too! But it’s okay, I’m not gonna be here for loooong 😉 Trump sure did like em young didn’t he. Anyway he’s president now. Life’s a bitch!! 😂”
“Hello my pedophile friend! It’s me, the pedophile billionaire. Sorry to hear you are in prison in pedophilia - me too! But it’s okay, I’m not gonna be here for loooong 😉 Trump sure did like em young didn’t he. Anyway he’s president now. Life’s a bitch!! 😂”
Reposted by Ryan
if you listen closely you can hear my dumb ass start to suggest 'walt disney' as the name will is trying to place
congratulations ted turner! we did not jinx your life by recording this. new patreon exclusive video is live
www.patreon.com/posts/long-l...
www.patreon.com/posts/long-l...
December 22, 2025 at 5:29 PM
if you listen closely you can hear my dumb ass start to suggest 'walt disney' as the name will is trying to place
Reposted by Ryan
this patreon video is an offshoot of a big project Ryan and I are working on. I am very excited about this project
congratulations ted turner! we did not jinx your life by recording this. new patreon exclusive video is live
www.patreon.com/posts/long-l...
www.patreon.com/posts/long-l...
December 22, 2025 at 5:27 PM
this patreon video is an offshoot of a big project Ryan and I are working on. I am very excited about this project