Safeword will be Hwiskey
@rpullins.bsky.social
Writer, aging punk, Father of the Year semi-finalist. My safeword will be Hwiskey. ralphpullins.com
Imagine after some epic jump you dicover a crack in your bike frame and rancid soup is coming out like marrow
You can drill a hole in a bicycle frame and fill it to the brim with cheddar & broccoli soup and then weld the hole shut and paint over it. Nobody has to know
November 18, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Imagine after some epic jump you dicover a crack in your bike frame and rancid soup is coming out like marrow
ME: Okay today we will be studying the decades long career of the highly influential and groundbreaking hip hop supergroup the Wu Tang Clan
MY 1 YEAR OLD NEICE: Wheaa
ME: Its RZA actually, but you'll get it, this is just your first day
MY 1 YEAR OLD NEICE: Wheaa
ME: Its RZA actually, but you'll get it, this is just your first day
November 18, 2025 at 1:31 AM
ME: Okay today we will be studying the decades long career of the highly influential and groundbreaking hip hop supergroup the Wu Tang Clan
MY 1 YEAR OLD NEICE: Wheaa
ME: Its RZA actually, but you'll get it, this is just your first day
MY 1 YEAR OLD NEICE: Wheaa
ME: Its RZA actually, but you'll get it, this is just your first day
The problem with having this book sitting on my toilet is I end up singing that stupid song for twenty minutes after every piss
November 15, 2025 at 9:01 PM
The problem with having this book sitting on my toilet is I end up singing that stupid song for twenty minutes after every piss
I know I was pretty basic in choosing the Stand in the book that changed me, but i genuinely nearly went with Ramona. Absolutely formative.
finding joy despite the world in 2025 is like this lol
November 12, 2025 at 3:40 PM
I know I was pretty basic in choosing the Stand in the book that changed me, but i genuinely nearly went with Ramona. Absolutely formative.
Im hardly alone in this but I first read The Stand in the eighth grade and it made me want to be a writer. That book literally changed my life.
performative reading, lack of reading skills, nobody's reading anymore -- NO!
tell me about a book that changed you
for me? the *extremely* ahistorical novel, THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY which I read at 13 and was like, "Oh, art can be *everything* to a maker, for good and bad"
tell me about a book that changed you
for me? the *extremely* ahistorical novel, THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY which I read at 13 and was like, "Oh, art can be *everything* to a maker, for good and bad"
November 12, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Im hardly alone in this but I first read The Stand in the eighth grade and it made me want to be a writer. That book literally changed my life.
Me: please for the love of god can I get some sleep?
My body: fuck no! new muscle ache unlocked, bitch
My brain: you know most people your age have a stable career. You done fucked up your life, kid.
Me: what the fuck man
My body: fuck no! new muscle ache unlocked, bitch
My brain: you know most people your age have a stable career. You done fucked up your life, kid.
Me: what the fuck man
November 9, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Me: please for the love of god can I get some sleep?
My body: fuck no! new muscle ache unlocked, bitch
My brain: you know most people your age have a stable career. You done fucked up your life, kid.
Me: what the fuck man
My body: fuck no! new muscle ache unlocked, bitch
My brain: you know most people your age have a stable career. You done fucked up your life, kid.
Me: what the fuck man
I dont really drink that much anymore, but I do walk around the house without remembering to take my reading glasses off, which has a very similar effect.
November 8, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I dont really drink that much anymore, but I do walk around the house without remembering to take my reading glasses off, which has a very similar effect.
WANTED: middle aged punk guitarist to jam in my garage between 545 and 615 pm every other Tuesday, and occasionally on a Saturday depending on both my wifes work and the kids soccer schedules. If Trevor makes the travel team, Saturdays are out.
November 6, 2025 at 9:45 PM
WANTED: middle aged punk guitarist to jam in my garage between 545 and 615 pm every other Tuesday, and occasionally on a Saturday depending on both my wifes work and the kids soccer schedules. If Trevor makes the travel team, Saturdays are out.
Endeavor to live life in such a way that strangers do not feel compelled to throw their lunch at you.
November 6, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Endeavor to live life in such a way that strangers do not feel compelled to throw their lunch at you.
Reposted by Safeword will be Hwiskey
hey check out my ghost costume
October 28, 2023 at 3:44 PM
hey check out my ghost costume
I dont care which party he is from as long as our next preaident is a very old very rich white guy that has never had a real job. Those dudes just know how to represent the people
October 29, 2025 at 8:00 AM
I dont care which party he is from as long as our next preaident is a very old very rich white guy that has never had a real job. Those dudes just know how to represent the people
I once forgot to preform my tooth fairy duties and the next night wrote an apology letter from the tooth fairy on tooth shaped paper saying they were running too late the previous night because of a big hockey fight in Canada, so they doubled up the payment to make up for the delay. The kid loved it
The tooth fairy once wrote to me IN ELVISH (or at least in runes) ON A LEAF! I was a lot more impressed by this as an adult than I was as a child. I wish I still had that leaf.
As Terry Pratchett said, we tell little lies to children so that they can accept the big lies they need to swallow to survive.
Justice. Mercy. Duty. That sort of thing.
I like to think your dad would have approved of the Dummy Elephant, @rhi.bsky.social .
Justice. Mercy. Duty. That sort of thing.
I like to think your dad would have approved of the Dummy Elephant, @rhi.bsky.social .
October 28, 2025 at 3:10 PM
I once forgot to preform my tooth fairy duties and the next night wrote an apology letter from the tooth fairy on tooth shaped paper saying they were running too late the previous night because of a big hockey fight in Canada, so they doubled up the payment to make up for the delay. The kid loved it
Reposted by Safeword will be Hwiskey
GOD: hi, welcome to heaven
ME: thanks…is there any BOFA here?
[30 seconds later]
SATAN: hi, welcome to hell
ME: thanks…is there any BOFA here?
[30 seconds later]
SATAN: hi, welcome to hell
October 25, 2025 at 8:04 PM
GOD: hi, welcome to heaven
ME: thanks…is there any BOFA here?
[30 seconds later]
SATAN: hi, welcome to hell
ME: thanks…is there any BOFA here?
[30 seconds later]
SATAN: hi, welcome to hell
When I was a punk, the only nazi curious phase any one I ever assiciated with was how to prevent those fucks from being in our spaces.
I have refined and grown out of some beliefs that were instilled in me as a youth but i have always believed that Nazis were unequivocally the bad guys. Always.
I have refined and grown out of some beliefs that were instilled in me as a youth but i have always believed that Nazis were unequivocally the bad guys. Always.
this also drives me insane, this idea that it is the most normal thing in the world for a young (white) man to have a nazi curious phase. it isn’t!
October 21, 2025 at 3:28 PM
When I was a punk, the only nazi curious phase any one I ever assiciated with was how to prevent those fucks from being in our spaces.
I have refined and grown out of some beliefs that were instilled in me as a youth but i have always believed that Nazis were unequivocally the bad guys. Always.
I have refined and grown out of some beliefs that were instilled in me as a youth but i have always believed that Nazis were unequivocally the bad guys. Always.
Took my baby niece to the zoo today.
She wont remember it, but I will.
She wont remember it, but I will.
October 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Took my baby niece to the zoo today.
She wont remember it, but I will.
She wont remember it, but I will.
Define your music taste with eight artists
1. Propagandhi
2. P.O.S.
3. Dan Mangan
4. Dave Hause
5. Bloody Beetroots
6. Get Dead
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. The Mr. T Experience
1. Propagandhi
2. P.O.S.
3. Dan Mangan
4. Dave Hause
5. Bloody Beetroots
6. Get Dead
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. The Mr. T Experience
Define your music taste with eight artists
1. Napalm Death
2. Bolt Thrower
3. Crass
4. MF Doom
5. Thelonious Monk
6. DJ Shadow
7. Black Sabbath
8. Muddy Waters
1. Napalm Death
2. Bolt Thrower
3. Crass
4. MF Doom
5. Thelonious Monk
6. DJ Shadow
7. Black Sabbath
8. Muddy Waters
define your music taste with eight artists
1. Dead Kennedys
2. Talking Heads
3. Pink Floyd
4. Aesop Rock
5. Subhumans
6. Elvis Costello
7. Freestyle Fellowship
8. Depeche Mode
1. Dead Kennedys
2. Talking Heads
3. Pink Floyd
4. Aesop Rock
5. Subhumans
6. Elvis Costello
7. Freestyle Fellowship
8. Depeche Mode
October 18, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Define your music taste with eight artists
1. Propagandhi
2. P.O.S.
3. Dan Mangan
4. Dave Hause
5. Bloody Beetroots
6. Get Dead
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. The Mr. T Experience
1. Propagandhi
2. P.O.S.
3. Dan Mangan
4. Dave Hause
5. Bloody Beetroots
6. Get Dead
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. The Mr. T Experience
Canceled my Spotify because fuck them thats why. Guess ill be reduced to listening to the voices in my own head again. They all speak what I believe to be Mandarin which I do not understand so its pretty tedious after a while
October 17, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Canceled my Spotify because fuck them thats why. Guess ill be reduced to listening to the voices in my own head again. They all speak what I believe to be Mandarin which I do not understand so its pretty tedious after a while
Hats off to the people who, when they find out you have written a novel, say Oh I would love to write a book but I dont have the time, and you nod politely but think motherfucker I DONT HAVE THE TIME EITHER, BUT I DID IT ANYWAY, NIGHTS AND LUNCHBREAKS AND EARLY MORNINGS. Nobody has the time, dipshit
October 15, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Hats off to the people who, when they find out you have written a novel, say Oh I would love to write a book but I dont have the time, and you nod politely but think motherfucker I DONT HAVE THE TIME EITHER, BUT I DID IT ANYWAY, NIGHTS AND LUNCHBREAKS AND EARLY MORNINGS. Nobody has the time, dipshit
I can verify it looked the exact same in 2024
October 14, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I can verify it looked the exact same in 2024
Finally watched The Substance last night. Insane filmmaking, somehow simultaneously exploitive and supportive, thoughtful and absurd, beautiful and absolutely fucking disgusting. I both loved it and hated it and I have no idea if this is a recommendation or not
October 11, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Finally watched The Substance last night. Insane filmmaking, somehow simultaneously exploitive and supportive, thoughtful and absurd, beautiful and absolutely fucking disgusting. I both loved it and hated it and I have no idea if this is a recommendation or not
Reposted by Safeword will be Hwiskey
If your parents never got divorced you have a sacred duty to help people with divorced parents navigate the cloak and dagger world of intimacy
October 8, 2025 at 7:00 PM
If your parents never got divorced you have a sacred duty to help people with divorced parents navigate the cloak and dagger world of intimacy
As of this evening, I can confirm One Battle After Another is very good.
October 7, 2025 at 12:47 AM
As of this evening, I can confirm One Battle After Another is very good.
Hell thats how I want to be put IN my casket
As a pro wrestling fan I really would like someone to be powerbombed through my casket at my funeral
October 2, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Hell thats how I want to be put IN my casket
Wrote something else new. Maybe you should get some good words in your brain instead of the perpetual feel bad machine that is the current media landscape.
www.ralphpullins.com/2025/10/here...
www.ralphpullins.com/2025/10/here...
Here, In the Black and White
I write my words in tiny letters on soap bubbles: free and unafraid , free and safe , free and content, free and brave and I watch as they ...
www.ralphpullins.com
October 2, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Wrote something else new. Maybe you should get some good words in your brain instead of the perpetual feel bad machine that is the current media landscape.
www.ralphpullins.com/2025/10/here...
www.ralphpullins.com/2025/10/here...
I saw a cop handle tylenol with his bare hands, then he tried to explain the plot of JoJos Bizarre Adventure to me for 90 straight minutes
September 27, 2025 at 12:30 AM
I saw a cop handle tylenol with his bare hands, then he tried to explain the plot of JoJos Bizarre Adventure to me for 90 straight minutes