[//] Professor Hazard
@prof.hazardlabs.com
Pinned
Twitter may be naught but a half-buried Ozymandian visage nowadays, but it did allow me to reclaim a bunch of fan art that I had posted over there that was lost when my hard drive died over the summer. Here's a thread of them in no particular order:
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
I actually heard a lot of people saying Elon Musk is actually too poor and too dumb to wrestle a baby grizzly away from its mother. Lots of people are saying that and laughing about it. About how he's too dumb and poor.
November 10, 2025 at 9:48 PM
I actually heard a lot of people saying Elon Musk is actually too poor and too dumb to wrestle a baby grizzly away from its mother. Lots of people are saying that and laughing about it. About how he's too dumb and poor.
don't tell joyce carol oates but I haven't read a book in like a decade
November 11, 2025 at 2:22 AM
don't tell joyce carol oates but I haven't read a book in like a decade
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
(trying to impress the waitress after my friend orders a soda) i'll actually have two sodas
November 11, 2025 at 1:35 AM
(trying to impress the waitress after my friend orders a soda) i'll actually have two sodas
guillotine talk is just talk and the (R)s know it. they will hold this country hostage forever because there is no punishment coming for them if they starve infants to death. and they'll do it again soon because we keep showing them that we cave every time
November 10, 2025 at 10:09 PM
guillotine talk is just talk and the (R)s know it. they will hold this country hostage forever because there is no punishment coming for them if they starve infants to death. and they'll do it again soon because we keep showing them that we cave every time
I haven't been this high since I was twelve, working in the Egans' factory
Whenever I feel sick or dizzy I always think “rings and stars danced before his eyes”
November 10, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I haven't been this high since I was twelve, working in the Egans' factory
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
A reminder that this anti-trans panic is 100% bullshit and exactly none of our country’s problems are related to someone expressing their gender identity and everyone who isn’t a hate-filled weirdo knows it.
November 10, 2025 at 1:16 PM
A reminder that this anti-trans panic is 100% bullshit and exactly none of our country’s problems are related to someone expressing their gender identity and everyone who isn’t a hate-filled weirdo knows it.
more like suck choomer
November 10, 2025 at 6:22 AM
more like suck choomer
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
November 10, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
being a democrat is like being told every weekend by your little league coach that your dad has, once again, attempted to sell you to the team or any other team, and when the offer is refused he reluctantly takes you home and asks if you'll vote for him
November 10, 2025 at 1:32 AM
being a democrat is like being told every weekend by your little league coach that your dad has, once again, attempted to sell you to the team or any other team, and when the offer is refused he reluctantly takes you home and asks if you'll vote for him
🎶 he - catchin' - up - a - fish - like - he - never - seen - before 🎶
🎵 FISH-FISH-F-FISH-LIKE-HE-NEVER-FISH-BEFORE-FORE 🎵
🎵 FISH-FISH-F-FISH-LIKE-HE-NEVER-FISH-BEFORE-FORE 🎵
November 10, 2025 at 1:04 AM
🎶 he - catchin' - up - a - fish - like - he - never - seen - before 🎶
🎵 FISH-FISH-F-FISH-LIKE-HE-NEVER-FISH-BEFORE-FORE 🎵
🎵 FISH-FISH-F-FISH-LIKE-HE-NEVER-FISH-BEFORE-FORE 🎵
did luigi not make it seem glamorous enough
November 10, 2025 at 12:38 AM
did luigi not make it seem glamorous enough
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
i emailed my senators and said something like
Do not accept this crap deal from republicans. They own this shutdown. ACA subsidies must be protected.
If Dems cave, we will primary *all* of you. Even the ones that "vote no." You can't trick us with this. We're not stupid.
Do not accept this crap deal from republicans. They own this shutdown. ACA subsidies must be protected.
If Dems cave, we will primary *all* of you. Even the ones that "vote no." You can't trick us with this. We're not stupid.
November 9, 2025 at 8:43 PM
i emailed my senators and said something like
Do not accept this crap deal from republicans. They own this shutdown. ACA subsidies must be protected.
If Dems cave, we will primary *all* of you. Even the ones that "vote no." You can't trick us with this. We're not stupid.
Do not accept this crap deal from republicans. They own this shutdown. ACA subsidies must be protected.
If Dems cave, we will primary *all* of you. Even the ones that "vote no." You can't trick us with this. We're not stupid.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
I know we've all got a lot on our minds and the gusher of news doesn't stop for anybody, but....
Did you see where the President of Iran announced that the drought there is so bad that if they don't get any rain in the next two months they'll run out of water and *evacuate Tehran*?
Did you see where the President of Iran announced that the drought there is so bad that if they don't get any rain in the next two months they'll run out of water and *evacuate Tehran*?
November 9, 2025 at 12:10 AM
I know we've all got a lot on our minds and the gusher of news doesn't stop for anybody, but....
Did you see where the President of Iran announced that the drought there is so bad that if they don't get any rain in the next two months they'll run out of water and *evacuate Tehran*?
Did you see where the President of Iran announced that the drought there is so bad that if they don't get any rain in the next two months they'll run out of water and *evacuate Tehran*?
Regular American experience I guess: just drove under an overpass in Hickory NC where a guy just has a rifle pointed at oncoming traffic! 911 said they'd already received multiple reports.
November 9, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Regular American experience I guess: just drove under an overpass in Hickory NC where a guy just has a rifle pointed at oncoming traffic! 911 said they'd already received multiple reports.
we're 100% replacing banks with draft kings because it is the dumbest thing that could happen
This is like saying "we're replacing banks with DraftKings", any journalists treating it seriously and not screaming their heads off about how totally deranged it is should be sent to the gulag
… Sen. Rick Scott says he’ll draft a health care bill based on Trump’s morning Truth Social post. Says his plan is to give people health savings accounts and “let them buy the health care they want.” To say I have questions would be an understatement.
November 9, 2025 at 2:28 PM
we're 100% replacing banks with draft kings because it is the dumbest thing that could happen
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
ME TO PERSON I ENCOUNTER: Beep boop bop. Did you hear that?
PERSON: yes
[I GIVE THEM A LARGE CERTIFICATE WITH GOLD FILIGREE EDGES AND "BEEP BOOP BOP" WRITTEN IN BLACK IMPACT FONT IN THE CENTER]
ME: Good job. You did it.
PERSON: thank you
PERSON: yes
[I GIVE THEM A LARGE CERTIFICATE WITH GOLD FILIGREE EDGES AND "BEEP BOOP BOP" WRITTEN IN BLACK IMPACT FONT IN THE CENTER]
ME: Good job. You did it.
PERSON: thank you
November 9, 2025 at 12:16 AM
ME TO PERSON I ENCOUNTER: Beep boop bop. Did you hear that?
PERSON: yes
[I GIVE THEM A LARGE CERTIFICATE WITH GOLD FILIGREE EDGES AND "BEEP BOOP BOP" WRITTEN IN BLACK IMPACT FONT IN THE CENTER]
ME: Good job. You did it.
PERSON: thank you
PERSON: yes
[I GIVE THEM A LARGE CERTIFICATE WITH GOLD FILIGREE EDGES AND "BEEP BOOP BOP" WRITTEN IN BLACK IMPACT FONT IN THE CENTER]
ME: Good job. You did it.
PERSON: thank you
Indiana Jones and the Troubling Subject of Marion Ravenwood's Age When They Fucked
November 8, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Indiana Jones and the Troubling Subject of Marion Ravenwood's Age When They Fucked
New Kids on the Block had a buncha hits
Genuinely incredibly column answer
November 8, 2025 at 10:37 PM
New Kids on the Block had a buncha hits
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Watch out for Ea Nasir this Halloween!
October 31, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Watch out for Ea Nasir this Halloween!
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Ancient meme
November 5, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Ancient meme
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
HAPPY FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE
November 7, 2025 at 6:44 PM
HAPPY FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
