[//] Professor Hazard
@prof.hazardlabs.com
Pinned
Twitter may be naught but a half-buried Ozymandian visage nowadays, but it did allow me to reclaim a bunch of fan art that I had posted over there that was lost when my hard drive died over the summer. Here's a thread of them in no particular order:
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
i hope all the people resisting ICE on the ground know how fucking inspiring they are. minneapolis right now, and chicago and LA and charlotte and DC and portland before them, you’re setting the blueprint for the future battles sure to come. thank you.
January 13, 2026 at 1:54 AM
i hope all the people resisting ICE on the ground know how fucking inspiring they are. minneapolis right now, and chicago and LA and charlotte and DC and portland before them, you’re setting the blueprint for the future battles sure to come. thank you.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Breaking NYT:
The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.
The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.
That is a war crime called "perfidy."
The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.
The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.
That is a war crime called "perfidy."
U.S. Attacked Boat With Aircraft That Looked Like a Civilian Plane
www.nytimes.com
January 13, 2026 at 12:05 AM
Breaking NYT:
The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.
The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.
That is a war crime called "perfidy."
The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.
The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.
That is a war crime called "perfidy."
If you ratio the Vice President you get to replace him. That's Twitter law, and Trump is the Twitter president.
Connor Eats Pants just ratio'ed the Vice President of the United States by telling him to kill himself
January 13, 2026 at 2:27 AM
If you ratio the Vice President you get to replace him. That's Twitter law, and Trump is the Twitter president.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Democrats are simultaneously beginning to refer to ICE and CBP agents as "poorly trained."
This message comes from leadership. They're trying to use it as a substitute for dismantling ICE and CBP and imprisoning their current employees. Don't fall for it; don't take any Dem seriously who uses it.
This message comes from leadership. They're trying to use it as a substitute for dismantling ICE and CBP and imprisoning their current employees. Don't fall for it; don't take any Dem seriously who uses it.
January 13, 2026 at 12:46 AM
Democrats are simultaneously beginning to refer to ICE and CBP agents as "poorly trained."
This message comes from leadership. They're trying to use it as a substitute for dismantling ICE and CBP and imprisoning their current employees. Don't fall for it; don't take any Dem seriously who uses it.
This message comes from leadership. They're trying to use it as a substitute for dismantling ICE and CBP and imprisoning their current employees. Don't fall for it; don't take any Dem seriously who uses it.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
I am in the Shitter at Costco and Someone is Eating Potato Chips while Taking a Shit in the Stall Next to Me !! (This is NOT Kink Shaming !!)
December 31, 2025 at 4:54 PM
I am in the Shitter at Costco and Someone is Eating Potato Chips while Taking a Shit in the Stall Next to Me !! (This is NOT Kink Shaming !!)
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
January 12, 2026 at 9:33 PM
🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
January 12, 2026 at 8:04 PM
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
ICE is in Atwater Village right now, possibly staging behind the Costco. Help your neighbors if you see them.
January 12, 2026 at 6:56 PM
ICE is in Atwater Village right now, possibly staging behind the Costco. Help your neighbors if you see them.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
it is 2016. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithfuls say they just need more training.
it is 2020. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithfuls say they just need more training.
it is 2026. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithf
it is 2020. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithfuls say they just need more training.
it is 2026. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithf
January 12, 2026 at 6:10 PM
it is 2016. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithfuls say they just need more training.
it is 2020. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithfuls say they just need more training.
it is 2026. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithf
it is 2020. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithfuls say they just need more training.
it is 2026. the cops have murdered someone in minneapolis. the dem faithf
If you see this, post an archer
January 12, 2026 at 6:51 PM
If you see this, post an archer
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
A child 🤝 a bottle of Tums 🤝 and a dream
‼️ Sign up for my newsletter to see when I'll be in your city!
🐿️ For more info, visit MariaBamfordComedy.com
‼️ Sign up for my newsletter to see when I'll be in your city!
🐿️ For more info, visit MariaBamfordComedy.com
January 12, 2026 at 6:07 PM
A child 🤝 a bottle of Tums 🤝 and a dream
‼️ Sign up for my newsletter to see when I'll be in your city!
🐿️ For more info, visit MariaBamfordComedy.com
‼️ Sign up for my newsletter to see when I'll be in your city!
🐿️ For more info, visit MariaBamfordComedy.com
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Bring their food out cold, return it overcooked when they send it back. Forget to bring their fries. Lose their coat at coat check. Get them by a thousand little cuts.
January 12, 2026 at 3:20 PM
Bring their food out cold, return it overcooked when they send it back. Forget to bring their fries. Lose their coat at coat check. Get them by a thousand little cuts.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Contempt for the unemployed is an immediate vibe check failure for sure
January 12, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Contempt for the unemployed is an immediate vibe check failure for sure
You're not immune to "don't make your hobby into your jobby" just because you want to be immune to it.
ARTISTS: quote with some random art advice!!
January 12, 2026 at 5:14 AM
You're not immune to "don't make your hobby into your jobby" just because you want to be immune to it.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Trump posts that he’s “Acting President of Venezuela”
January 12, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Trump posts that he’s “Acting President of Venezuela”
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Whoopsi-nazi!
January 11, 2026 at 11:32 PM
Whoopsi-nazi!
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Look, I think about my dad who blew up his marriage and his relationship with every sibling and friend and coworker and child in his life. It was all in a sequence, and at every step we thought, "this is rock bottom. This will wake him up."
Anyway he died of a drug overdose because he never stopped
Anyway he died of a drug overdose because he never stopped
January 12, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Look, I think about my dad who blew up his marriage and his relationship with every sibling and friend and coworker and child in his life. It was all in a sequence, and at every step we thought, "this is rock bottom. This will wake him up."
Anyway he died of a drug overdose because he never stopped
Anyway he died of a drug overdose because he never stopped
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
hey, quick question: what’s it gonna take
January 12, 2026 at 1:46 AM
hey, quick question: what’s it gonna take
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
(This Is Subject To Change,
But Here Is My Schedule
For Streaming Next Week!
Lets Have Some Fun!)
V
Ü
But Here Is My Schedule
For Streaming Next Week!
Lets Have Some Fun!)
V
Ü
January 12, 2026 at 1:14 AM
(This Is Subject To Change,
But Here Is My Schedule
For Streaming Next Week!
Lets Have Some Fun!)
V
Ü
But Here Is My Schedule
For Streaming Next Week!
Lets Have Some Fun!)
V
Ü
Yell at the State Troopers "You want to be associated with these cowards?"
Yell at the ICE SUV "I wouldn't turn my backs on those guys if I was you."
Yell at the ICE SUV "I wouldn't turn my backs on those guys if I was you."
Funniest encounter today was the giant ICE SUV full of masked dudes who spent 20 minutes whipping around Uptown trying to lose the tail (my doughty little Fit), at one point turning the wrong way onto a one-way street, before fleeing on to I35 and finally finding a state trooper to park/hide behind
January 11, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Yell at the State Troopers "You want to be associated with these cowards?"
Yell at the ICE SUV "I wouldn't turn my backs on those guys if I was you."
Yell at the ICE SUV "I wouldn't turn my backs on those guys if I was you."
why does the alt text say there is a phone
January 11, 2026 at 11:43 PM
why does the alt text say there is a phone
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
if you still believe "don't take Trump literally, listen to him symbolically" in 2026 you are not intelligent enough to qualify as sentient.
January 11, 2026 at 11:21 PM
if you still believe "don't take Trump literally, listen to him symbolically" in 2026 you are not intelligent enough to qualify as sentient.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Community pushed them out.
January 11, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Community pushed them out.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Here we go
January 11, 2026 at 8:06 PM
Here we go