Dave Hemming
@oracular.bsky.social
If there is an afterlife, some people still won't go anywhere because there's just nothing inside them.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
November 26, 2025 at 9:09 PM
If there is an afterlife, some people still won't go anywhere because there's just nothing inside them.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
We should stop putting those people in charge of shit.
Remember, being truthful in a relationship is important.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
a man in a red and white striped shirt is saying no no not like that
ALT: a man in a red and white striped shirt is saying no no not like that
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Remember, being truthful in a relationship is important.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
Her: What, do you think there's a washing fairy that does all your washing for you?
Me: Well... Yeah.
*chef's kiss* 10/10 no notes
November 18, 2025 at 4:30 PM
*chef's kiss* 10/10 no notes
Takes all the benefits of living in the UK and as soon as he has to give back he fucks off. Deep down he knows that even the people he calls friends despise him.
🗣️ "I’m worth £780m at 37 — and I’m leaving Britain for Dubai"
Herman Narula, founder of Improbable, doubts he’ll be the last tech entrepreneur to depart
Herman Narula, founder of Improbable, doubts he’ll be the last tech entrepreneur to depart
I’m worth £780m at 37 — and I’m leaving Britain for Dubai
Herman Narula, founder of Improbable, doubts he’ll be the last tech entrepreneur to leave the UK
www.thetimes.com
November 16, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Takes all the benefits of living in the UK and as soon as he has to give back he fucks off. Deep down he knows that even the people he calls friends despise him.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
I haven't seen New York this happy since the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer.
November 5, 2025 at 6:43 AM
I haven't seen New York this happy since the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
every sports team is a Ship of Theseus
October 25, 2025 at 9:16 PM
every sports team is a Ship of Theseus
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
October 9, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design
Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme
Reposted by Dave Hemming
In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:
October 2, 2025 at 3:17 PM
In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:
Reposted by Dave Hemming
ADL *AGAIN* bends over backwards for Nazis, erasing a resource and database to appease antisemitic scum:
October 1, 2025 at 1:05 AM
ADL *AGAIN* bends over backwards for Nazis, erasing a resource and database to appease antisemitic scum:
Reposted by Dave Hemming
(solemnly) You've had mail.
September 30, 2025 at 7:43 PM
(solemnly) You've had mail.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
And this is Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence, which, in my opinion, is easily the greatest Scottish poem ever written about Batman...
October 3, 2024 at 2:11 PM
And this is Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence, which, in my opinion, is easily the greatest Scottish poem ever written about Batman...
Reposted by Dave Hemming
I don’t get it. He was raised in a Christian household with plentiful access to guns, zero realistic future, and spent all his time on the computer? That’s like half the white men in this country *Everything suddenly dawns on me* Aw fuck
September 17, 2025 at 2:39 AM
I don’t get it. He was raised in a Christian household with plentiful access to guns, zero realistic future, and spent all his time on the computer? That’s like half the white men in this country *Everything suddenly dawns on me* Aw fuck
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Dutch late night TV has its take
September 19, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Dutch late night TV has its take
Reposted by Dave Hemming
They're not from here, they don't share our values and culture, they don't respect women and most of them are violent criminals.
The far right should leave London.
The far right should leave London.
September 13, 2025 at 7:38 PM
They're not from here, they don't share our values and culture, they don't respect women and most of them are violent criminals.
The far right should leave London.
The far right should leave London.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Saw Hilltop Hoods at the Roundhouse last night. Blinding gig. How they still have the energy is beyond me. Love the introvert anthem www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOrz...
Hilltop Hoods - Exit Sign (Official Video) ft. Illy, Ecca Vandal
YouTube video by HilltopHoodsVEVO
www.youtube.com
September 4, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Saw Hilltop Hoods at the Roundhouse last night. Blinding gig. How they still have the energy is beyond me. Love the introvert anthem www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOrz...
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Again.
August 27, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Again.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
When Ted Turner asked Carl Sagan if he was a socialist, Sagan gave the answer America keeps failing to learn.
August 21, 2025 at 5:40 PM
When Ted Turner asked Carl Sagan if he was a socialist, Sagan gave the answer America keeps failing to learn.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Aussie unions don’t beat around the bush.
August 22, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Aussie unions don’t beat around the bush.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
Catastrophic subtitling on the 1941 movie "Love on the Dole".
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
August 3, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Catastrophic subtitling on the 1941 movie "Love on the Dole".
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
(It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)
Reposted by Dave Hemming
t's amazing how this is from more than 20 years ago but very well could have been from today.
July 28, 2025 at 8:44 PM
t's amazing how this is from more than 20 years ago but very well could have been from today.
Reposted by Dave Hemming
this must be the large language model everyone's talking about
I thought the worst thing about it was the ridiculous hyper-airbrushed texture we’ve come to expect from this nonsense technology and then I saw the actual full ad and apparently this fake woman made of environmental ruin and stolen art is about eight feet tall
July 28, 2025 at 9:19 AM
this must be the large language model everyone's talking about
Friend: would you like to come to my west coast swing dance?
Me: is that a dance of West coast swing, or a swing dance on the West coast?
Friend: oh most people think of East coast swing when they hear swing, but it's quite different on the West coast. So glad you're interested!
1/2
Me: is that a dance of West coast swing, or a swing dance on the West coast?
Friend: oh most people think of East coast swing when they hear swing, but it's quite different on the West coast. So glad you're interested!
1/2
July 26, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Friend: would you like to come to my west coast swing dance?
Me: is that a dance of West coast swing, or a swing dance on the West coast?
Friend: oh most people think of East coast swing when they hear swing, but it's quite different on the West coast. So glad you're interested!
1/2
Me: is that a dance of West coast swing, or a swing dance on the West coast?
Friend: oh most people think of East coast swing when they hear swing, but it's quite different on the West coast. So glad you're interested!
1/2
Reposted by Dave Hemming
B.R.F.R.O.
October 31, 2023 at 3:51 PM
B.R.F.R.O.