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lazenby.bsky.social
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@lazenby.bsky.social
810 followers 620 following 170 posts
the alien name for Earth translates as the labyrinth of swine
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lazenby.bsky.social
name @lazenby.bsky.social · Feb 3
“Well Harry,” said Hagrid, “a translation is a lot like a plane crash. The smartest people in the world can recover 100% of the pieces and tell you exactly what happened, but that bitch ain't flyin.”
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anamariecox.bsky.social
From this minister's op-ed: "People wanting to experience God are more likely to meet the Divine trying to shut down the Broadview, Illinois, ICE facility than we ever were in church...God does not live in our houses of worship, but...with those who are bearing the brunt of cruelty in this moment."
jackjenkins.me Jack Jenkins @jackjenkins.me · 11h
Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:
November 14, 2025 at 9:38 PM
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bubbaprog.xyz
So, skeptical of a screen shot from Twitter, I went through and translated his actual speech myself and it goes WAY HARDER THAN THE SCREEN SHOT SUGGESTS

he mixes in the history of Colombia into the drug cartels and Bernie Moreno into Jeffrey Epstein, it's wild, wild stuff
One hundred years of solitude. The sad story of a lonely country that seems to be killing itself when he is in the midst of life's exuberance, when it erupts like a volcano, both in the Glimpses of vitality, both in nature and in human beings. And that's why we dance the way we do and why we can admire this greenery that surrounds us like perhaps no one else in humanity. So much exuberance that in the midst of solitude we kill each other. In our loneliness, we kill each other. And it has been this way since the beginning. I was 25 on November 7, 1985 and I had been tortured and was being tortured in prison and they ask me to apologize. Why? Because I wanted a different country and thought differently from those who governed Colombia. That is why I am president of the Republic. But why was the Patriotic Union killed? Why were the magistrates killed? Ah, because Pablo Escobar put up the money to take over the palace. Carlos Leder, third or fourth in Pablo Escobar's cartel, confessed that they had nothing to do with it. He's not the doorman or driver of the drug trade, he's one of the kingpins. I shouldn't talk about this, they say. But if it wasn't drug trafficking, why were the judges killed? Because they destroyed everything. Couldn't they speak? Was anyone even trying to speak? What was the reason? And the reason, in my opinion-I could be wrong, of course, in interpreting Colombian history-was simply that the Colombian oligarchy didn't want to distribute wealth to the population. Didn't want to escape that immense social inequality. Losing even a single penny of their wealth seemed terrible to them. And I said, why hadn't the Conservative Party apologized? Because today we are facing the same events. You only have to look at today's newspaper pages to see what's on display. A magazine published a cover featuring me in an orange jumpsuit, which they claim is the same one worn by prisoners in the United States. In other words, we emerged from a peace process that created a constituent assembly. They wiped out an entire Left-wing party, the Patriotic Union, along the way, and those of us who survived won the elections, and now they're telling us again that they're going to kill us. I'm not saying they're going to kill us, but it's the same thing. They want to eliminate this popular alternative and prevent it from winning the 2026 elections again, and they want to do it with violence once more. And so I ask the Conservative Party, is that why it hasn't apologized? Because it wants to repeat and repeat and repeat the sad history of the physical and violent elimination of difference in Colombia, which is not a minority, but a popular majority. And it has always been a popular majority because Gaitdn was a majority, because Rafael Uribe Uribe was a majority, because La Napo was Because we are the majority, they always kill the majority to continue governing as a minority. It's called oligarchy. Is it possible to try to imprison the democratically elected president in the United States, a foreign country? It's not the worst kind of violence, because it's preferable to die fighting on a street corner than to be taken prisoner to a foreign country that has nothing to do with what one believes, but it does have a lot to do with Colombia's history since the beginning of violence. And why am I talking about the Conservative Party? Conservative? Because those who are doing this—and excuse me for not yet properly entering the event, but I have to say it because they are conservative militants who are influencing a gentleman named Bernie Moreno. Moreno. He's the one who says in the magazine that he's giving Trump the way to imprison Petro. Petro is in jail. Do you know why he's doing it? For personal revenge. A vendetta like the mafia. As García Márquez said, "We are killing each other in circles of revenge. We kill each other out of pride, he says in his book. My first debates in Congress were against Mr. Bernardo Alberto Moreno, who robbed the Banco del Pacífico and later he was president of it. And my first debates in Congress were against money laundering. They went against the money laundering that was established by turning the property, the use of the land in the Bogotá savanna, from rural use that belonged to the peasants to to urban use, where they speculated with such harsh real estate interests that they even turned a $300,000 property into the San Simón Hacienda. A 3 billion settlement with a single signature from the minister of Environment, Mr. Andrés Pastrana Juan Me, a paramilitary member, said he collaborated with the paramilitaries. The business belonged to a man named Ángel Gaitán Maecha de Chí, founder of paramilitarism in Colombia and emerald mining. And who was the political leader? Andrés Pastrana, president who also enriched himself with some lots in San Simón. And on what list does Mr. Andrés appear? On the list. No, no, I'm not saying he appears on the list, he appears as a friend of Epstein on the list and now he's sealing the deal. A clan of pedophiles wants to end democracy in Colombia. It's tough, yes, but that's the reality. And to prevent the list from being published, they send battleships to kill fishermen in this city. And they threaten our neighbor, asking whether he's a dictator or not, how can the people of Colombia applaud the invasion of their brother, who isn't the president, but the people of Venezuela? When would we ever be so treacherous and sellouts that we betray our own blood? Are the people of Ecuador, Panama, or Venezuela not our own people? And then they want the president to do what Duque, the coward, wanted to do: lend Colombian lands so that a brother country with the same history as us could be invaded from there, because Bolívar was born there and came to die here in this city. No, President of Colombia, you cannot do that, President cursed by future generations, because you will never be forgotten as... And I do not belong to those who wanted to kill Bolívar. The Venezuelan government has made many criticisms, I'm critical, but I'm not making fun of the people of Venezuela, nor did I build a trap for the people of Venezuela to fall into. an invasion that is only after their oil, what they want is more greed and violence to make this beautiful corner of the South American continent a Syria, an Iraq, a Libya full of slaves, selling black slaves again, right? list of Epstein's friends that he doesn't want to appear in the United States. They want to use us here with the violence so that the people of the United States do not think about their own government, but rather xenophobia, racism, and the ideas of the superior race and other false ideas, and they use us to avoid discussing their own problems The president of Colombia has denounced drug traffickers for decades. And the drug traffickers he has denounced were always in political power. They were always in political power in Colombia, in the state. And now they accuse us of being drug traffickers. Hypocrites. any of the Colombian senators and Colombian politicians who went to Miami to try to build the road by which they could forcibly remove the elected president of Colombia It is popularly known as being full of relatives and businesses of drug traffickers. Drug traffickers' business. And Marco Rubio doesn't want to believe it, well, believe it. even though he also has a relative who is a drug trafficker. They're all coated in it at their core. I believe, and I hope I'm not wrong, to that insult that conservatives of Andrés Pastrana, a friend of Epstein, its business partners, through the brother, Senator Bernie Moreno, in the United States And how do we Colombians respond to such a massive anti-democratic insult? Such treason against the homeland by those who already sold Panama for 13 million dollars and they stole the money. How do you respond to that? And I can't say more while remaining coherent. And I ask the people who are here, who are listening to me and beyond, because we have to go from village to village, from municipality to municipality, that not only are there elections coming in which I cannot participate, but there is a defense of dignity, of national sovereignty, that when they come here to threaten us, I do not accept threats, we are going to rise up by the millions because the prophecy is true. And we are jaguars, males and females, we are jaguars. We will be jaguars dancing for the dignity of Colombia. We will be jaguars dancing to revive Bolívar, who is still anchored there, in that fascist monument they erected in his honor at the Quinta de Bolívar. We will be jaguars to end the 100 years of solitude. Millions will rise up here, unarmed. against the threat of those linked to the list of pedophiles we will not allow to operate. We will build democracy, we will build dignity. And I'm not talking about Trump, who shouldn't be mistaken, I'm talking about Andrés Pastrana, who orchestrated this slander against the President of Colombia through his friend Bernie Moreno and his brothers, who are the thieves who were in his government, involved in the Banco del Pacífico scandal and the land grabs in the Bogotá Savannah, denounced by the current President of the Republic. I ask for forgiveness on behalf of the State so that they may revive their dead through it. It is a way of reviving. All of it. It's a way to revive. We all know it. We don't die; the energy continues. The second law of thermodynamics in physics states: Nothing is created or destroyed, it is transformed. And the energy of these thousands of people who, as members of the Patriotic Union and having dreams from 1982 to 2000, that energy is here again, multiplied thousands of times over. Now we are millions. Now they can't kill us. Now we are the heart, the hope of We are the heart, the hope of the people of Colombia. Now we are a flag raised high and we will not let them insult it. We will not allow them to spit on her in blood. We will rise up in dignity with the the hands of millions and millions will stop the pedophiles. Thank you very much for listening to me.
November 14, 2025 at 3:41 AM
lazenby.bsky.social
in consecutive paragraphs of the deakins autobiography you learn that you were only a real camera operator if you could turn a tripod head into an autopen and that every last release print of 1984 would have mission impossibled if not for a cc'd memo
November 14, 2025 at 2:40 AM
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tylerfromtheinternet.com
As all this disgusting Epstein shit starts surfacing more and more, I hope we don't lose sight of the fact that apparently every major media outlet knew everything and instead spent their time money and energy attacking the trans community.
November 13, 2025 at 1:07 AM
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someforeignfield.bsky.social
We fed dozens of MQ-9s to the Yemeni mountains for 2 straight years! Three SEALs drowned themselves in the Red Sea for no reason! US army guys got themselves crushed to death by a floating dock so Biden could get a headline in the NYT! Forest Service guys hid from the IDF rape gangs at Sde Teiman!
someforeignfield.bsky.social Travis @someforeignfield.bsky.social · 3d
The United States expended 25% of its entire missile defense capacity to prevent Israel from facing consequences for its war of aggression against Iran! The US Navy pushed maintenance schedules back years to kill Yemenis on behalf of Israel! They poured F/A-18s into the Red Sea for Israel!
someforeignfield.bsky.social Travis @someforeignfield.bsky.social · 10d
I don't want to directly quote tweet but there are apparently still people who think the US is somehow only "indirectly" involved in the genocide in Gaza. We've spent probably $50+ billion to make sure it happens! American soldiers have killed and died making sure it continues!
November 11, 2025 at 4:15 PM
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brittanytrang.com
A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death.

Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."

Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
James Watson, dead at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers
James Watson, the co-discoverer of the structure of DNA who died Thursday at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers.
www.statnews.com
November 8, 2025 at 1:39 PM
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marceldirsus.com
AI could end scarcity, end humanity - or boost trend growth by 0.2 percentage points
November 7, 2025 at 1:24 PM
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ryanmarino.bsky.social
Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market.

This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
November 7, 2025 at 10:56 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
The only halloween movie we watch in this house is Ordet.
October 24, 2025 at 3:42 AM
lazenby.bsky.social
"cheeseburgers cause heart attacks" is true. but the statement omits the several thousand steps you'd need to understand in order to address the problem in a person who won't stop ordering five guys.
quantian.bsky.social Quantian @quantian.bsky.social · Oct 13
A lot of people who are not scientists love to break out the word “polycrisis” but global warming is one of the most monocausal crisis ever: the vibrational modes of CO2 have an absorption peak around the same wavenumber the earth’s surface has a reflection peak at. We’ve known this for centuries!
October 13, 2025 at 6:19 AM
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banalplay.bsky.social
This is what I do when I think about the Confederacy's humiliation
fakegreekgrill.bsky.social Mom for Gliberty 🍂 @fakegreekgrill.bsky.social · Sep 24
Des Moines has you all beat
September 24, 2025 at 4:31 AM
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relentlesspicnic.com
why so looking back?

we're in our heads about the past — wondering about whizzing back into the kingdom of regrets, shattering the laws of thermodynamics in the process.

oh and — the thing that happened that you totally forgot about? don't worry about it. if it were important, you'd remember it.
The Inevitable Curse of Regret | Stanley Picnic
Get more from Stanley Picnic on Patreon
www.patreon.com
September 15, 2025 at 9:59 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
pressing boiling hot phone screen to my cheek: listen pig there is a word for novelists who dare to write with lower ratios of summary to scene than i, claudius or master and margarita and that word is lazy
hostage negotiator, covering mic: he's right...... fuckkkkk
September 11, 2025 at 6:11 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
Korovyov: Goodness gracious what is that? Have you ever in all your days smelled a body like this one?
Azazello: Messire hates us.
Behemoth (gnawing the president's fingers): Try one! they taste of coconut.
August 30, 2025 at 8:05 AM
lazenby.bsky.social
I hate this shit. this is art for phone cameras and people who've lost an eye
soapy2019.bsky.social Soapy @soapy2019.bsky.social · Aug 23
Thomas Deininger uses plastic waste to create sculptures,or should I say,works of Genius!!!!!!
August 23, 2025 at 5:44 AM
lazenby.bsky.social
meeting my handler at the renal pelvis of the bulgakov statue in the international kidney museum
August 14, 2025 at 4:19 AM
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lazenby.bsky.social
www.patreon.com/posts/going-...
Going Harder than the Thing Itself | Stanley Picnic
Get more from Stanley Picnic on Patreon
www.patreon.com
August 11, 2025 at 1:45 PM
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lazenby.bsky.social
TOMORROW comes a new Relentless Picnic
The Martín Ramírez Relentless Picnic announcement horn.
August 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
TOMORROW comes a new Relentless Picnic
The Martín Ramírez Relentless Picnic announcement horn.
August 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
the two O's in goop indicate that gwyneth paltrow has murdered human beings to advance the interests of the United Kingdom
August 10, 2025 at 7:19 AM
lazenby.bsky.social
going to miss this bone dry bitch
Sheet music for Tom Lehrer's Elements song set to The Very Model of a Modern Major General by Gilbert & Sullivan, adapted to the four elements of Aristotle's cosmology.
July 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
in societies with free speech, real news is always an unspoken subtext. the newsworthy part of this 20-year-old story is not that the president is a pedophile. the news is that his unprecedented immunity to political gravity has secretly been decaying.
clairewillett.bsky.social Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · Jul 23
I can’t stop thinking about how the Access Hollywood tape came out before the election even happened, yet suddenly we have people concerned that the President might have lied about being a sexual predator who were totally fine with it when he told the truth about being a sexual predator

very grim
July 24, 2025 at 5:04 AM
lazenby.bsky.social
post-scarcity economists fail to consider that gambling addicts only have 20 fingers and toes to cut off
July 13, 2025 at 6:36 PM
lazenby.bsky.social
dreamed Frasier was Brad Pitt in Fury and Niles named the tank Jerry Cruncher
July 6, 2025 at 8:36 AM