Joshua Berwald
@joshuaberwald.bsky.social
I play loud music at parties. I piss off bigots. I have cute kids. A mixture of kindness and sarcasm.
Pinned
Joshua Berwald
@joshuaberwald.bsky.social
· Jan 19
Parenting, year one: “We’re going to feed them only high-quality Whole Foods and not give them sugar for a year.
Parenting, year nine:
Parenting, year nine:
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
My heart is breaking over this news and I’m viscerally anxious about how the right wing is going to use this to further its attacks on my trans sisters and my community of trans people. Please please care for yourself loved ones today.
I thought Frey and O’Hara did well today. Their words were comforting and informative. The real political test for all our leaders now is going to be supporting the trans community to the fullest.
August 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
My heart is breaking over this news and I’m viscerally anxious about how the right wing is going to use this to further its attacks on my trans sisters and my community of trans people. Please please care for yourself loved ones today.
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
"You come to me, on the day of Miss Piggy's wedding . . ."
March 17, 2025 at 9:12 PM
"You come to me, on the day of Miss Piggy's wedding . . ."
Jesus, meeting my daughter by a well.
Her: Give me some water.
Jesus: Go, fetch your water bottle and come back.
Her: I have no water bottle.
Jesus: You are right when you say you have no water bottle. The fact is, you have had five water bottles, and the water bottle you have now is not yours.
Her: Give me some water.
Jesus: Go, fetch your water bottle and come back.
Her: I have no water bottle.
Jesus: You are right when you say you have no water bottle. The fact is, you have had five water bottles, and the water bottle you have now is not yours.
March 9, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Jesus, meeting my daughter by a well.
Her: Give me some water.
Jesus: Go, fetch your water bottle and come back.
Her: I have no water bottle.
Jesus: You are right when you say you have no water bottle. The fact is, you have had five water bottles, and the water bottle you have now is not yours.
Her: Give me some water.
Jesus: Go, fetch your water bottle and come back.
Her: I have no water bottle.
Jesus: You are right when you say you have no water bottle. The fact is, you have had five water bottles, and the water bottle you have now is not yours.
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
Every time my parents give my kids a toy that makes noise, I give their number to a mortgage refinancing company.
March 2, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Every time my parents give my kids a toy that makes noise, I give their number to a mortgage refinancing company.
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
Congratulations Hulu. No notes.
March 3, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Congratulations Hulu. No notes.
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
Around 35% of SpaceX’s revenue comes directly from the federal govt.
Less than 1% of NPR’s budget comes from the federal govt.
Less than 1% of NPR’s budget comes from the federal govt.
February 5, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Around 35% of SpaceX’s revenue comes directly from the federal govt.
Less than 1% of NPR’s budget comes from the federal govt.
Less than 1% of NPR’s budget comes from the federal govt.
For Pippin’s birthday his auntie Jillian got him a portrait of him as president.
I can’t tell you how much I wish this were a real picture. We’d all have unlimited acress to all the cheese we want and no one would ever have to leave their puppies alone at home to work (or whatever hoomans do).
I can’t tell you how much I wish this were a real picture. We’d all have unlimited acress to all the cheese we want and no one would ever have to leave their puppies alone at home to work (or whatever hoomans do).
February 1, 2025 at 5:01 AM
For Pippin’s birthday his auntie Jillian got him a portrait of him as president.
I can’t tell you how much I wish this were a real picture. We’d all have unlimited acress to all the cheese we want and no one would ever have to leave their puppies alone at home to work (or whatever hoomans do).
I can’t tell you how much I wish this were a real picture. We’d all have unlimited acress to all the cheese we want and no one would ever have to leave their puppies alone at home to work (or whatever hoomans do).
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
alternatively you could say what i said: "we will primary the shit out of you and make sure you no longer represent Minnesota if you compromise with Republicans on this blatant bigotry."
if your senator's a democrat, try the script below. it’s got a bail out written in. play with it. you’ll get an intern. be polite.
no dem cosponsors so far. but dems often cast cowardly votes & need to know it won't hurt them to stand with trans people. see ⬇️🧵
find your reps: myreps.datamade.us
no dem cosponsors so far. but dems often cast cowardly votes & need to know it won't hurt them to stand with trans people. see ⬇️🧵
find your reps: myreps.datamade.us
![Hi, my name is ___________ and I'm one of Senator ____________'s constituents. I need the Senator to commit to voting No on S-9, the "Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act," and other anti-trans legislation on the way.
Trump's Executive Orders made it clear none of this is about protecting women. And no compromise on trans rights will make Republicans stop attacking.
Voters respond when Democrats fight injustice. Bipartisanship isn't what at-risk people need or what the base wants, and it didn't help Democrats win 2024 elections.
[you can stop here at 0:30 if you want to bail out]
If Senate Democrats stand together, Republicans can't pass this law and others like them. Executive Orders are easily overturned.
Tell Senator _____________ to vote No on S-9. If not for trans people, then because voters show up for Democrats who stand for something. Thank you.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:2lzahebnas6od6j6jfydwst7/bafkreials44fzmw62qq7ltffcq5fmlhiuhkc6ngmxcxtlqmt4vpruemioa@jpeg)
January 27, 2025 at 8:54 PM
alternatively you could say what i said: "we will primary the shit out of you and make sure you no longer represent Minnesota if you compromise with Republicans on this blatant bigotry."
Pippin watching me cleaning instead of snuggling him.
January 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Pippin watching me cleaning instead of snuggling him.
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
Space alien: Take me to your leader.
Me: I’d rather not.
Me: I’d rather not.
January 21, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Space alien: Take me to your leader.
Me: I’d rather not.
Me: I’d rather not.
I don’t care what the “official policy of the US government” is, I will continue to use whatever pronoun you tell me you are.
January 20, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I don’t care what the “official policy of the US government” is, I will continue to use whatever pronoun you tell me you are.
“Henceforth it will be the policy of the US government that there are only two genders- male and female”
He does a whole ring about how everything will be colorblind and merit based and then immediately contradicts himself and doesn’t care.
FUCK YOU FUCKFACE
He does a whole ring about how everything will be colorblind and merit based and then immediately contradicts himself and doesn’t care.
FUCK YOU FUCKFACE
January 20, 2025 at 5:29 PM
“Henceforth it will be the policy of the US government that there are only two genders- male and female”
He does a whole ring about how everything will be colorblind and merit based and then immediately contradicts himself and doesn’t care.
FUCK YOU FUCKFACE
He does a whole ring about how everything will be colorblind and merit based and then immediately contradicts himself and doesn’t care.
FUCK YOU FUCKFACE
Franklin Graham is the embodiment of everything wrong with Christianity. Everything he just prayed is literally the definition of “using God’s name in vain.”
January 20, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Franklin Graham is the embodiment of everything wrong with Christianity. Everything he just prayed is literally the definition of “using God’s name in vain.”
Oh fuuuuuuuck you Facebook.
January 20, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Oh fuuuuuuuck you Facebook.
Parenting, year one: “We’re going to feed them only high-quality Whole Foods and not give them sugar for a year.
Parenting, year nine:
Parenting, year nine:
January 19, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Parenting, year one: “We’re going to feed them only high-quality Whole Foods and not give them sugar for a year.
Parenting, year nine:
Parenting, year nine:
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
"Diane, it's 8:15 on a Thursday morning. I heard the news about David Lynch. Very sad. He loved a good cup of coffee. Let's make Twin Peaks available on our streaming platform."
January 18, 2025 at 1:02 AM
"Diane, it's 8:15 on a Thursday morning. I heard the news about David Lynch. Very sad. He loved a good cup of coffee. Let's make Twin Peaks available on our streaming platform."
With twins on the way, we suddenly need a larger van! The minivan won’t fit six car seat kids at the same time.
Every time we pass a church I think about informing the pastor that Jesus said we need their church van.
That should definitely work, right?
Every time we pass a church I think about informing the pastor that Jesus said we need their church van.
That should definitely work, right?
January 9, 2025 at 9:31 PM
With twins on the way, we suddenly need a larger van! The minivan won’t fit six car seat kids at the same time.
Every time we pass a church I think about informing the pastor that Jesus said we need their church van.
That should definitely work, right?
Every time we pass a church I think about informing the pastor that Jesus said we need their church van.
That should definitely work, right?
Here’s our first good look at the twins! And yes, in case you missed it, baby number five decided to bring a plus one! Due sometime between the end of April and the end of May (twin due dates are even more unpredictable than single babies, evidently). I’m rooting for May 4th.
January 8, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Here’s our first good look at the twins! And yes, in case you missed it, baby number five decided to bring a plus one! Due sometime between the end of April and the end of May (twin due dates are even more unpredictable than single babies, evidently). I’m rooting for May 4th.
Okay, I’m logging into this place for real. My account on that other place has been erased so if you know any cool people I should follow send them my way.
January 7, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Okay, I’m logging into this place for real. My account on that other place has been erased so if you know any cool people I should follow send them my way.
Reposted by Joshua Berwald
He thinks cats are being eaten because he heard someone say their pussy got ate and neither he nor JD have any idea what that means.
September 11, 2024 at 1:39 AM
He thinks cats are being eaten because he heard someone say their pussy got ate and neither he nor JD have any idea what that means.
The weirdest thing about sickness is the way you feel the day after, when you’re back to normal.
It’s just your regular constitution, but you feel SUPER HUMAN.
It’s just your regular constitution, but you feel SUPER HUMAN.
November 4, 2023 at 2:58 AM
The weirdest thing about sickness is the way you feel the day after, when you’re back to normal.
It’s just your regular constitution, but you feel SUPER HUMAN.
It’s just your regular constitution, but you feel SUPER HUMAN.
My friend’s doggo Loki has been diagnosed with cancer as a shitty Halloween surprise. If you’ve got a few bucks to spare to help cover some of the upcoming costs, the Pumpkin King would surely smile upon you.
(Please share!)
t.co/z7jEx6OvQB
(Please share!)
t.co/z7jEx6OvQB
October 31, 2023 at 6:40 PM
My friend’s doggo Loki has been diagnosed with cancer as a shitty Halloween surprise. If you’ve got a few bucks to spare to help cover some of the upcoming costs, the Pumpkin King would surely smile upon you.
(Please share!)
t.co/z7jEx6OvQB
(Please share!)
t.co/z7jEx6OvQB
According to Eleos, the phrase is “Sugar Treat!”
When I told him it was Trick or Treat he looked at me as if I were the most foolish man alive.
“Why would they trick me? I want a sugar treat!”
When I told him it was Trick or Treat he looked at me as if I were the most foolish man alive.
“Why would they trick me? I want a sugar treat!”
October 31, 2023 at 2:16 PM
According to Eleos, the phrase is “Sugar Treat!”
When I told him it was Trick or Treat he looked at me as if I were the most foolish man alive.
“Why would they trick me? I want a sugar treat!”
When I told him it was Trick or Treat he looked at me as if I were the most foolish man alive.
“Why would they trick me? I want a sugar treat!”
Ever wonder what Jack Skellington would have thought if he found Easter Town instead?
Jack: “First they brutally murder a guy in a hyper-cruel way and then celebrate when he becomes a zombie! And that’s the holiday!”
Citizens of Halloween: “We love it! We love it!”
Jack: “First they brutally murder a guy in a hyper-cruel way and then celebrate when he becomes a zombie! And that’s the holiday!”
Citizens of Halloween: “We love it! We love it!”
October 25, 2023 at 6:16 PM
Ever wonder what Jack Skellington would have thought if he found Easter Town instead?
Jack: “First they brutally murder a guy in a hyper-cruel way and then celebrate when he becomes a zombie! And that’s the holiday!”
Citizens of Halloween: “We love it! We love it!”
Jack: “First they brutally murder a guy in a hyper-cruel way and then celebrate when he becomes a zombie! And that’s the holiday!”
Citizens of Halloween: “We love it! We love it!”