Gabriel Morton
@gabrielenguard.bsky.social
A slapdash attempt at the slipshod.
I am writing about every episode of The Simpsons.
I have played every DOS game.
Read here: https://keepetclassy.com/authors/gabriel
Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@KeepetClassy/streams
I am writing about every episode of The Simpsons.
I have played every DOS game.
Read here: https://keepetclassy.com/authors/gabriel
Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@KeepetClassy/streams
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Nate not realizing that our "unincorporated territories in the Caribbean" were acquired from Denmark in the first place in exchange for... relinquishing all claims to Greenland.
Peak punditry right there.
10/10, don't ever change.
Peak punditry right there.
10/10, don't ever change.
January 22, 2026 at 2:23 PM
Nate not realizing that our "unincorporated territories in the Caribbean" were acquired from Denmark in the first place in exchange for... relinquishing all claims to Greenland.
Peak punditry right there.
10/10, don't ever change.
Peak punditry right there.
10/10, don't ever change.
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
is klingon wrestling staged
January 22, 2026 at 5:13 PM
is klingon wrestling staged
Fever gone but itchy.
Hungry and eat doggy food.
Itchy itchy
Stephen Miller came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty.
Itchy.
Tasty.
Hungry and eat doggy food.
Itchy itchy
Stephen Miller came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty.
Itchy.
Tasty.
January 22, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Fever gone but itchy.
Hungry and eat doggy food.
Itchy itchy
Stephen Miller came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty.
Itchy.
Tasty.
Hungry and eat doggy food.
Itchy itchy
Stephen Miller came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty.
Itchy.
Tasty.
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
I'm not sure I've actually listened to Taibbi speaking in a while and holy hell he makes Joe Rogan sound like Gore Vidal
January 22, 2026 at 4:36 PM
I'm not sure I've actually listened to Taibbi speaking in a while and holy hell he makes Joe Rogan sound like Gore Vidal
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
damn. that was amazing. you're so fucking hot. goddamn. okay. time for bed ? i hope you dont mind, i like to put on ASMR Vegeta Explains Calculus To You Like You're A Dog. it helps me sleep
January 22, 2026 at 12:55 AM
damn. that was amazing. you're so fucking hot. goddamn. okay. time for bed ? i hope you dont mind, i like to put on ASMR Vegeta Explains Calculus To You Like You're A Dog. it helps me sleep
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ Rule
January 22, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ Rule
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
We made him lose his mind and all he gets out of it is 49 likes and 3 retweets
January 22, 2026 at 2:09 PM
We made him lose his mind and all he gets out of it is 49 likes and 3 retweets
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
January 20, 2026 at 12:30 AM
In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies.
I have translated some of the highlights
I have translated some of the highlights
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
US law requires 2/3 Senate approval for international treaties
Trump’s Board of Peace has now officially been recognized as an international organization, according to the White House.
January 22, 2026 at 11:48 AM
US law requires 2/3 Senate approval for international treaties
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
No joke. On the bus yesterday I overheard two guys drunk midday going "OI MATE, U GETTING THE NEW MCDONALDS EPSTEIN BURGER?"
January 22, 2026 at 1:48 PM
No joke. On the bus yesterday I overheard two guys drunk midday going "OI MATE, U GETTING THE NEW MCDONALDS EPSTEIN BURGER?"
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Been busybusy but finally finished the team :D #Severance #Fanart
Fan art can be commissioned too <3
Fan art can be commissioned too <3
January 19, 2026 at 2:21 PM
Been busybusy but finally finished the team :D #Severance #Fanart
Fan art can be commissioned too <3
Fan art can be commissioned too <3
Should black mark anyone who writes shit like this and hound them out of anything but retail employment for the rest of their lives.
In his mission to acquire Greenland, Donald Trump deployed his trademark bargaining strategy: Take the maximalist position — in this case the barely veiled threat of using military force — then dial back
Trump Finds His Greenland Framework and Pulls Back Threats
The president retreats from use of military force or tariffs.
bloom.bg
January 22, 2026 at 11:07 AM
Should black mark anyone who writes shit like this and hound them out of anything but retail employment for the rest of their lives.
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Trump: We've got a deal
Literally everyone else: No we don't, wtf
The media:
Literally everyone else: No we don't, wtf
The media:
January 22, 2026 at 10:17 AM
Trump: We've got a deal
Literally everyone else: No we don't, wtf
The media:
Literally everyone else: No we don't, wtf
The media:
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
The artwork of #StreetFighter II Turbo used for advertising the #SuperFamicom release on magazines. Removed the seam between pages, logos/text, applying the usual upscale/clean/retouch process. No clue on the artist, any info let me know!
January 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
The artwork of #StreetFighter II Turbo used for advertising the #SuperFamicom release on magazines. Removed the seam between pages, logos/text, applying the usual upscale/clean/retouch process. No clue on the artist, any info let me know!
Reposted by Gabriel Morton
Today is the 10th anniversary of this gif of me showing how to make games on TV.
January 21, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Today is the 10th anniversary of this gif of me showing how to make games on TV.
Human Centipedophile
Here's the "Board of Peace" representatives on stage at Trump's launch event.
January 22, 2026 at 10:55 AM
Human Centipedophile