penjamin button
@ersatzfusillade.bsky.social
| fool of a took |
| they/them/their |
| internet is my hobby |
| passive-aggressively midwestern |
| they/them/their |
| internet is my hobby |
| passive-aggressively midwestern |
a new dumb shit traffic move i see more and more:
I am first at a 4 lane stoplight in the 3rd lane. The lanes are: L turn, 2 straights, R turn
Driver in the 2nd lane: "oh I need to turn right" and PULLS UP AND ACROSS two lanes to turn on red
These specimens get the double thumbs up from me
I am first at a 4 lane stoplight in the 3rd lane. The lanes are: L turn, 2 straights, R turn
Driver in the 2nd lane: "oh I need to turn right" and PULLS UP AND ACROSS two lanes to turn on red
These specimens get the double thumbs up from me
February 15, 2026 at 5:27 PM
a new dumb shit traffic move i see more and more:
I am first at a 4 lane stoplight in the 3rd lane. The lanes are: L turn, 2 straights, R turn
Driver in the 2nd lane: "oh I need to turn right" and PULLS UP AND ACROSS two lanes to turn on red
These specimens get the double thumbs up from me
I am first at a 4 lane stoplight in the 3rd lane. The lanes are: L turn, 2 straights, R turn
Driver in the 2nd lane: "oh I need to turn right" and PULLS UP AND ACROSS two lanes to turn on red
These specimens get the double thumbs up from me
Reposted by penjamin button
ah, the ted bundy playbook
CCTV footage appears to show DHS agents posing as people having car trouble in order to lure a target out of his house before arresting them. The target comes out and starts helping them before 3 vehicles surround the scene. The car "experiencing" trouble then drives off with them.
February 15, 2026 at 4:24 PM
ah, the ted bundy playbook
a fun thing our city likes to do is "controlled demolition of seized ordinance" in the middle of the night with no prior warning/notice
they did this last night and scared the shit out of a ton of people
I slept through it
they did this last night and scared the shit out of a ton of people
I slept through it
February 15, 2026 at 2:44 AM
a fun thing our city likes to do is "controlled demolition of seized ordinance" in the middle of the night with no prior warning/notice
they did this last night and scared the shit out of a ton of people
I slept through it
they did this last night and scared the shit out of a ton of people
I slept through it
Reposted by penjamin button
Happy birthday to Love
February 14, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Happy birthday to Love
new people:
find a balance between posts with head empty, no thoughts that rarely get noticed and replies to mutuals that toggle between earnest and tomfoolery but avoid being overly familiar
i get better and more meaningful engagement this way with a fraction of the "following" i had elsewhere
find a balance between posts with head empty, no thoughts that rarely get noticed and replies to mutuals that toggle between earnest and tomfoolery but avoid being overly familiar
i get better and more meaningful engagement this way with a fraction of the "following" i had elsewhere
February 14, 2026 at 5:45 AM
new people:
find a balance between posts with head empty, no thoughts that rarely get noticed and replies to mutuals that toggle between earnest and tomfoolery but avoid being overly familiar
i get better and more meaningful engagement this way with a fraction of the "following" i had elsewhere
find a balance between posts with head empty, no thoughts that rarely get noticed and replies to mutuals that toggle between earnest and tomfoolery but avoid being overly familiar
i get better and more meaningful engagement this way with a fraction of the "following" i had elsewhere
Reposted by penjamin button
nobody posted the clip anywhere so i went and dug the whole episode up
February 13, 2026 at 5:22 AM
nobody posted the clip anywhere so i went and dug the whole episode up
CHA CHA SLIDE BEFORE ZOD
BREAKDANCE BEFORE ZOD!!!
BULGARIAN SPLIT SQUAT BEFORE ZOD!!!
February 13, 2026 at 6:31 PM
CHA CHA SLIDE BEFORE ZOD
Reposted by penjamin button
furiously tapping the "public education is one of the most important issues in our time because literacy rates are plummeting" sign because this video identifies a key symptom: literally every dipshit internet argument ever.
October 30, 2024 at 5:21 PM
furiously tapping the "public education is one of the most important issues in our time because literacy rates are plummeting" sign because this video identifies a key symptom: literally every dipshit internet argument ever.
Reposted by penjamin button
proving my age to a discord employee younger than my gmail account
February 12, 2026 at 1:27 PM
proving my age to a discord employee younger than my gmail account
this is a necessary maneuver or sometimes it reroutes to the grundle
Lifting my leg up to fart like a dog taking a piss
February 13, 2026 at 3:38 PM
this is a necessary maneuver or sometimes it reroutes to the grundle
when i was a younge childe i remember classmates gathering round the one kid in third grade whose parents let him watch the first Friday the 13th on video and he told us the whole plot at recess
February 13, 2026 at 2:19 PM
when i was a younge childe i remember classmates gathering round the one kid in third grade whose parents let him watch the first Friday the 13th on video and he told us the whole plot at recess
none of my alarm sounds wake me up, so I chose one that wakes my wife up 😈
February 13, 2026 at 1:46 PM
none of my alarm sounds wake me up, so I chose one that wakes my wife up 😈
i got to see her at the 1997 Lilith Fair
:3
:3
One of the most expressive singer-songwriters of her generation, Sarah McLachlan's deeply felt and virtuosic performance is miraculous. n.pr/3M9F0rT
Sarah McLachlan: Tiny Desk Concert
One of the most expressive singer-songwriters of her generation, Sarah McLachlan's deeply felt and virtuosic performance is miraculous.
n.pr
February 12, 2026 at 11:43 PM
i got to see her at the 1997 Lilith Fair
:3
:3
Reposted by penjamin button
Sorry it’s time to post the dumb cartoon I drew that one time Charles Darwin’s birthday fell on Mardi Gras but now I post every year regardless
February 12, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Sorry it’s time to post the dumb cartoon I drew that one time Charles Darwin’s birthday fell on Mardi Gras but now I post every year regardless
respectfully, how does one person email that many people that much? it seems like it's virtually all he did aside from criming
February 12, 2026 at 4:05 PM
respectfully, how does one person email that many people that much? it seems like it's virtually all he did aside from criming
Reposted by penjamin button
Included, just like mom used to make
February 12, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Included, just like mom used to make
Nicholas says good morning but give him ten more minutes please
February 12, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Nicholas says good morning but give him ten more minutes please
this is how you do it
Pam Bondi really triggering that fight or flight for anyone who’s ever worked a cash register
February 11, 2026 at 10:38 PM
this is how you do it
fun fact about menopause that i hate:
the arbitrary 1 year timer.
Getting vaxxed for COVID, getting COVID, getting dx'd/treatment started for Graves, and finally a TT? All restarted the clock. I should technically be 5 years into menopause but nooOOoOo we had to have some spotting
the arbitrary 1 year timer.
Getting vaxxed for COVID, getting COVID, getting dx'd/treatment started for Graves, and finally a TT? All restarted the clock. I should technically be 5 years into menopause but nooOOoOo we had to have some spotting
February 11, 2026 at 10:37 PM
fun fact about menopause that i hate:
the arbitrary 1 year timer.
Getting vaxxed for COVID, getting COVID, getting dx'd/treatment started for Graves, and finally a TT? All restarted the clock. I should technically be 5 years into menopause but nooOOoOo we had to have some spotting
the arbitrary 1 year timer.
Getting vaxxed for COVID, getting COVID, getting dx'd/treatment started for Graves, and finally a TT? All restarted the clock. I should technically be 5 years into menopause but nooOOoOo we had to have some spotting
I'm a poopin champion and still did the butt hole camera procedure because i'm old
came back clean and i'll keep going every few years or whenever my poops get weird
it's important to do if you can!
came back clean and i'll keep going every few years or whenever my poops get weird
it's important to do if you can!
February 11, 2026 at 8:58 PM
I'm a poopin champion and still did the butt hole camera procedure because i'm old
came back clean and i'll keep going every few years or whenever my poops get weird
it's important to do if you can!
came back clean and i'll keep going every few years or whenever my poops get weird
it's important to do if you can!
