Elbee XXXIII
@elbee33.bsky.social
Shadowy background figure whose motives remain unclear.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
Dear Congressional Dems: "Affordability" is the last thing I am worried about this week. The danger of the current regime accelerates hourly. If stopping them required disabling the national power grid & all commerce for 72 hrs, we'd survive. You should be swinging baseball bats rn, not tweeting.
January 7, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Dear Congressional Dems: "Affordability" is the last thing I am worried about this week. The danger of the current regime accelerates hourly. If stopping them required disabling the national power grid & all commerce for 72 hrs, we'd survive. You should be swinging baseball bats rn, not tweeting.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
Announcer: this program is intended for mature audiences
Me: *waving my bubble wand* well, I'm out
Me: *waving my bubble wand* well, I'm out
November 8, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Announcer: this program is intended for mature audiences
Me: *waving my bubble wand* well, I'm out
Me: *waving my bubble wand* well, I'm out
They DID vote for this. They rolled their eyes and chuckled about "TDS" every time they were told EXACTLY what a Trump presidency would yield – and chose him anyway. They are not victims, they are irresponsible fools.
"What have I done? Why didn't I listen? I feel so stupid." might play better.
"What have I done? Why didn't I listen? I feel so stupid." might play better.
Federal worker: My district went for Trump both in 2016 and 2024, and a lot of my friends supported him. But they didn't vote for the parks to close, health care costs to skyrocket, veterans to lose care, and for tens of thousands of federal employees to be at risk of losing their jobs.
October 22, 2025 at 11:26 PM
They DID vote for this. They rolled their eyes and chuckled about "TDS" every time they were told EXACTLY what a Trump presidency would yield – and chose him anyway. They are not victims, they are irresponsible fools.
"What have I done? Why didn't I listen? I feel so stupid." might play better.
"What have I done? Why didn't I listen? I feel so stupid." might play better.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country
January 30, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
This is like if the first class passengers on the Titanic asked the captain to hit the iceberg just to see how many steerage passengers they could knock off the boat
January 28, 2025 at 7:04 PM
This is like if the first class passengers on the Titanic asked the captain to hit the iceberg just to see how many steerage passengers they could knock off the boat
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
If I ever found a catfish was using one of my photos I'd be like wow lil buddy let's get you back in the water
January 25, 2025 at 3:44 PM
If I ever found a catfish was using one of my photos I'd be like wow lil buddy let's get you back in the water
I dunno guys. Overall, I kinda thought "accountability" was a net good.
January 25, 2025 at 5:02 AM
I dunno guys. Overall, I kinda thought "accountability" was a net good.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
I will “go with the flow” when it stops trying to lead me to the nearest sewer grate
November 25, 2024 at 5:01 PM
I will “go with the flow” when it stops trying to lead me to the nearest sewer grate
TikTok turning off the lights tonight –even though no one compelled them to– then saying DON'T WORRY DADDY TRUMP WILL FIX THIS WHEN HE GETS HERE! is pretty damn disturbing.
January 19, 2025 at 3:01 AM
TikTok turning off the lights tonight –even though no one compelled them to– then saying DON'T WORRY DADDY TRUMP WILL FIX THIS WHEN HE GETS HERE! is pretty damn disturbing.
Woke up naked at the zoo again this morning.
January 14, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Woke up naked at the zoo again this morning.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
My child, when there was only one set of footprints we were masking our numbers
December 28, 2024 at 8:44 PM
My child, when there was only one set of footprints we were masking our numbers
Broke free of the bonds of materialism by casting ALL of my pearls in front of the first 3 swine I encountered.
[me, bragging]
[me, bragging]
December 28, 2024 at 6:50 PM
Broke free of the bonds of materialism by casting ALL of my pearls in front of the first 3 swine I encountered.
[me, bragging]
[me, bragging]
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
i like my coffee like i like my men; sliding off the roof of my car as i absent-mindedly drive away.
December 7, 2024 at 2:06 PM
i like my coffee like i like my men; sliding off the roof of my car as i absent-mindedly drive away.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
COP: do you know why I stopped you
ME: is it related to my crimes
ME: is it related to my crimes
January 14, 2024 at 9:01 AM
COP: do you know why I stopped you
ME: is it related to my crimes
ME: is it related to my crimes
After another disheartening day at market, I silently pack up my unsold twaddle and head home, cursing my certified manifestation coach with every step.
November 26, 2024 at 3:23 AM
After another disheartening day at market, I silently pack up my unsold twaddle and head home, cursing my certified manifestation coach with every step.
Blinded by the stage lights, blissfully unaware that there are only five people in the audience, I raise my hand and begin emitting a series of barely audible squeaks.
Also I am not wearing any pants. Welcome.
Also I am not wearing any pants. Welcome.
November 22, 2024 at 3:05 AM
Blinded by the stage lights, blissfully unaware that there are only five people in the audience, I raise my hand and begin emitting a series of barely audible squeaks.
Also I am not wearing any pants. Welcome.
Also I am not wearing any pants. Welcome.
Yet somehow, I WANT TO FIX IT UP.
This picture smells of petrichor, old wood, and five generations of cannibalistic murder
November 22, 2024 at 2:43 AM
Yet somehow, I WANT TO FIX IT UP.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
As the cool kids are engrossed in entertaining one another, I slide my pocket knife under another barnacle on my carapace, and skillfully pop it off.
June 22, 2024 at 3:30 AM
As the cool kids are engrossed in entertaining one another, I slide my pocket knife under another barnacle on my carapace, and skillfully pop it off.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
condensed milk from concise cows
November 19, 2024 at 11:13 AM
condensed milk from concise cows
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
Gently pressing googly eyes onto my seething impotent rage before leaving the house.
April 29, 2024 at 7:48 PM
Gently pressing googly eyes onto my seething impotent rage before leaving the house.
Reposted by Elbee XXXIII
Never the bride, always the thing standing silently in the corner with the dirty burlap sack over its head.
November 12, 2024 at 2:29 AM
Never the bride, always the thing standing silently in the corner with the dirty burlap sack over its head.