Cryptozoologist, Esq.
@cryptozoologistesq.bsky.social
All opinions my own. For business inquiries, email the dog.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.
January 13, 2026 at 1:20 AM
AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.
Kevin Burkhardt is great, but I'll never understand his whole fleece-zip-under-the-blazer thing.
January 12, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Kevin Burkhardt is great, but I'll never understand his whole fleece-zip-under-the-blazer thing.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Here’s a comment for the people who are upset that MN hasn’t charged Jonathan Ross already:
If you just Leeeroy Jenkins this shit you will lose and you will empower fascism and murder.
It is indescribably hard to prosecute cops for murder. It is even hard when the murder is ON VIDEO.
/1
If you just Leeeroy Jenkins this shit you will lose and you will empower fascism and murder.
It is indescribably hard to prosecute cops for murder. It is even hard when the murder is ON VIDEO.
/1
January 9, 2026 at 6:42 PM
Here’s a comment for the people who are upset that MN hasn’t charged Jonathan Ross already:
If you just Leeeroy Jenkins this shit you will lose and you will empower fascism and murder.
It is indescribably hard to prosecute cops for murder. It is even hard when the murder is ON VIDEO.
/1
If you just Leeeroy Jenkins this shit you will lose and you will empower fascism and murder.
It is indescribably hard to prosecute cops for murder. It is even hard when the murder is ON VIDEO.
/1
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Democrats cannot vote for a DHS budget that doesn’t restrain the growing lawlessness of this agency.
A witness shared this video with me showing an ICE officer shooting a driver in an SUV in south Minneapolis. DHS says the woman is dead.
ICE officer fatally shoots driver in Minneapolis
YouTube video by Minnesota Reformer
youtu.be
January 7, 2026 at 8:45 PM
Democrats cannot vote for a DHS budget that doesn’t restrain the growing lawlessness of this agency.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Per NY Times’s Michael Grynbaum on X, this is Sharyn Alfonsi’s email to her “60 Minutes” colleagues in full:
December 22, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Per NY Times’s Michael Grynbaum on X, this is Sharyn Alfonsi’s email to her “60 Minutes” colleagues in full:
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
she's just doing what she was hired to do
Why would you need to put a pause on a story that has been meticulously fact-checked and lawyered?
Sounds like the kind of story you’d want to run right away!
Sounds like the kind of story you’d want to run right away!
December 22, 2025 at 2:22 AM
she's just doing what she was hired to do
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
THREAD: The FDA has made it difficult to find where medications are made. Today we're changing that with our latest tool.
With Rx Inspector, it’s possible to see your drug’s manufacturing facility and what the FDA found during its inspections.
Here's how you can use it. 1/
With Rx Inspector, it’s possible to see your drug’s manufacturing facility and what the FDA found during its inspections.
Here's how you can use it. 1/
December 18, 2025 at 4:56 PM
THREAD: The FDA has made it difficult to find where medications are made. Today we're changing that with our latest tool.
With Rx Inspector, it’s possible to see your drug’s manufacturing facility and what the FDA found during its inspections.
Here's how you can use it. 1/
With Rx Inspector, it’s possible to see your drug’s manufacturing facility and what the FDA found during its inspections.
Here's how you can use it. 1/
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Welcome to DOES IT SCAN AS BEASTIE BOYS LYRICS, the hit show where we tell you if something scans as Beastie Boys lyrics. Today: a big YES YES Y'ALL to Away in a Manger! Take it away, Boys:
December 26, 2023 at 12:56 PM
Welcome to DOES IT SCAN AS BEASTIE BOYS LYRICS, the hit show where we tell you if something scans as Beastie Boys lyrics. Today: a big YES YES Y'ALL to Away in a Manger! Take it away, Boys:
Handing off to the fullback out of the I.
Airing of Grievances: what are your bespoke football pet peeves? Not just shotgun in short yardage (we are all people of good taste after all) but little things that go up your ass sideways watching a game?
I *despise* big receivers that don't play like big guys and manhandle DBs.
I *despise* big receivers that don't play like big guys and manhandle DBs.
December 18, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Handing off to the fullback out of the I.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
BREAKING: The House of Representatives passed a bill that would criminalize gender-affirming care for transgender youth under 18 and put doctors in prison for providing this care.
This bill is an unjustifiable threat to the well-being of trans youth and their families. The Senate must reject it.
This bill is an unjustifiable threat to the well-being of trans youth and their families. The Senate must reject it.
December 18, 2025 at 12:39 AM
BREAKING: The House of Representatives passed a bill that would criminalize gender-affirming care for transgender youth under 18 and put doctors in prison for providing this care.
This bill is an unjustifiable threat to the well-being of trans youth and their families. The Senate must reject it.
This bill is an unjustifiable threat to the well-being of trans youth and their families. The Senate must reject it.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
NEW: In dealing with the Trump admin, Columbia is paying a $21 million settlement to Jewish or Israeli staff for claims of harassment/discrimination.
Unclear if non-Zionist affiliates who have faced harassment can file a claim, though terms say Trump admin has "sole discretion."
Unclear if non-Zionist affiliates who have faced harassment can file a claim, though terms say Trump admin has "sole discretion."
December 4, 2025 at 7:37 PM
NEW: In dealing with the Trump admin, Columbia is paying a $21 million settlement to Jewish or Israeli staff for claims of harassment/discrimination.
Unclear if non-Zionist affiliates who have faced harassment can file a claim, though terms say Trump admin has "sole discretion."
Unclear if non-Zionist affiliates who have faced harassment can file a claim, though terms say Trump admin has "sole discretion."
Blue-blue. A toilet-bowl blue.
“bloo a bloo bloo a bloo” has to be a bit, right
December 4, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Blue-blue. A toilet-bowl blue.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
November 14, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
🏳️🌈 Breaking: The U.S. Supreme Court has rejected Kim Davis’s petition to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, the 2015 ruling that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. Davis, a former Kentucky clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, argued her religious rights were violated...
November 10, 2025 at 3:45 PM
🏳️🌈 Breaking: The U.S. Supreme Court has rejected Kim Davis’s petition to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, the 2015 ruling that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. Davis, a former Kentucky clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, argued her religious rights were violated...
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
The final tally to advance the CR is 62-38.
The Democrats who voted for cloture, giving Donald Trump everything he wants:
Cortez Masto (NV)
Durbin (IL)
Fetterman (PA)
Gillibrand (NY)
Hassan (NH)
Peters (MI)
Schatz (HI)
Schumer (NY)
Shaheen (NH)
The Democrats who voted for cloture, giving Donald Trump everything he wants:
Cortez Masto (NV)
Durbin (IL)
Fetterman (PA)
Gillibrand (NY)
Hassan (NH)
Peters (MI)
Schatz (HI)
Schumer (NY)
Shaheen (NH)
March 14, 2025 at 9:06 PM
The final tally to advance the CR is 62-38.
The Democrats who voted for cloture, giving Donald Trump everything he wants:
Cortez Masto (NV)
Durbin (IL)
Fetterman (PA)
Gillibrand (NY)
Hassan (NH)
Peters (MI)
Schatz (HI)
Schumer (NY)
Shaheen (NH)
The Democrats who voted for cloture, giving Donald Trump everything he wants:
Cortez Masto (NV)
Durbin (IL)
Fetterman (PA)
Gillibrand (NY)
Hassan (NH)
Peters (MI)
Schatz (HI)
Schumer (NY)
Shaheen (NH)
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
The average SNAP benefit per month is $177 a person.
The average ACA benefit per month is up to $550 a person.
People want us to hold the line for a reason. This is not a matter of appealing to a base. It’s about people’s lives.
And working people want leaders whose word means something to them.
The average ACA benefit per month is up to $550 a person.
People want us to hold the line for a reason. This is not a matter of appealing to a base. It’s about people’s lives.
And working people want leaders whose word means something to them.
November 10, 2025 at 1:49 AM
The average SNAP benefit per month is $177 a person.
The average ACA benefit per month is up to $550 a person.
People want us to hold the line for a reason. This is not a matter of appealing to a base. It’s about people’s lives.
And working people want leaders whose word means something to them.
The average ACA benefit per month is up to $550 a person.
People want us to hold the line for a reason. This is not a matter of appealing to a base. It’s about people’s lives.
And working people want leaders whose word means something to them.
Todays daily affirmation, from Sir Roquan Smith, October 30, 2025:
I'm driving this fucking hearse. Throw their ass in the back of it.
I'm driving this fucking hearse. Throw their ass in the back of it.
October 31, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Todays daily affirmation, from Sir Roquan Smith, October 30, 2025:
I'm driving this fucking hearse. Throw their ass in the back of it.
I'm driving this fucking hearse. Throw their ass in the back of it.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
A moth got into the shelter tonight and it was the event of the season.
October 24, 2025 at 1:03 AM
A moth got into the shelter tonight and it was the event of the season.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
BREAKING: Our client Mario Guevara, an Emmy-winning journalist detained by ICE in retaliation for livestreaming law enforcement activity, will be deported tomorrow to El Salvador.
Mario and his family are being punished for his reporting. This cruelty is meant to stifle our free press.
Mario and his family are being punished for his reporting. This cruelty is meant to stifle our free press.
October 2, 2025 at 10:42 PM
BREAKING: Our client Mario Guevara, an Emmy-winning journalist detained by ICE in retaliation for livestreaming law enforcement activity, will be deported tomorrow to El Salvador.
Mario and his family are being punished for his reporting. This cruelty is meant to stifle our free press.
Mario and his family are being punished for his reporting. This cruelty is meant to stifle our free press.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
Silly Jimmy Kimmel. He should have just called for all homeless people to be killed and he’d still have a job.
September 18, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Silly Jimmy Kimmel. He should have just called for all homeless people to be killed and he’d still have a job.
Reposted by Cryptozoologist, Esq.
On this Chairteenth, we celebrate the good folks of Montgomery, especially our guy AquaMayne. Special shout out to the folks who, within 72 hours, recreated this in their apartment complex. A COMMUNITY!! 💀
August 6, 2025 at 12:47 AM
On this Chairteenth, we celebrate the good folks of Montgomery, especially our guy AquaMayne. Special shout out to the folks who, within 72 hours, recreated this in their apartment complex. A COMMUNITY!! 💀