Cookie Mumbles
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cookiemumbles.bsky.social
Cookie Mumbles
@cookiemumbles.bsky.social
3 cookies in a trench coat pocket. I used to do comics but who has time for that not me
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will you walk with me
so i can get back safe?
thanks. keep a lookout
*breaks into somebodys
house and steals a safe*
October 3, 2025 at 4:49 AM
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Me: *takes one step outside*

Mosquitoes: *start tying on bibs and opening up tiny bottles of barbecue sauce*
September 15, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Charlie Kirk from Hell where a leopard is eating his face: No I meant only political violence against the OTHER guys
September 11, 2025 at 1:01 PM
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As a guy who got a cancer that was probably caused by a virus, I think we should have /more/ vaccines.
September 8, 2025 at 12:49 AM
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Hey du #Gutverdiener mit 100.000 Euro im Jahr, du bist nur Faktor 10 entfernt von der Aushilfe/ dem Werkstudent mit 10.000 Euro im Jahr - aber Faktor 10.000 entfernt von den Superreichen, die jedes Jahr 1 Milliarde Euro dazu "verdienen".
DU bist *NICHT* mitgemeint bei #TaxTheRich
September 6, 2025 at 3:19 PM
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The idea of an "Epstein list" is kinda stupid when the victims can literally tell us "here is what happened and who did it."
September 6, 2025 at 1:29 PM
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It's not possible for my empire to have problems. My courtiers are always nervously smiling and telling me everything is great
September 5, 2025 at 4:01 PM
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AI slop is pushing real indie artists out of the pool, even by using identity theft. Imagine discovering you have released a new album without knowing it and it's just AI using your name.

It's insane. Fuck this shit.
Spotify Exposed: Indie Artists Under Attack With HORRIBLE Scam
YouTube video by Top Music Attorney
youtu.be
August 29, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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🤔
August 22, 2025 at 5:02 AM
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Sighlander
August 22, 2025 at 12:25 AM
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thighlander
August 22, 2025 at 12:29 AM
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Eye-to-eyelander
August 22, 2025 at 3:18 AM
shylander
Eye-to-eyelander
thighlander
August 22, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Me, handing back another bag which contains pictures of penises: eat this!
August 21, 2025 at 10:47 AM
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Well those mines ain't gonna sweep themselves
August 17, 2025 at 1:40 PM
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August 17, 2025 at 11:55 AM
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thanks so much you've been a great crowd, we're "dersh's pierogi denied" and this is our last song and a one two three four
August 1, 2025 at 5:14 AM
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There's no rule that says a dog can't be a priest
August 10, 2025 at 3:14 AM
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Would 100% watch a sitcom in which Cuomo and Dershowitz end up roommates, Dershowitz is denied a pierogi every episode in exactly the same way, and Cuomo runs for successively lower-stakes office each week, only to lose again.
August 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM
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“that’s a lazy river” well maybe it’s just resting from a long week of rapids, sometimes water just needs to fart around
August 9, 2025 at 8:12 PM
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this is where i'm at mentally these days
August 9, 2025 at 10:47 PM
The sturgeon moon was yesterday and now I‘m missing a kidney
August 10, 2025 at 4:52 PM
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[concert]

singer: (shouting) i can’t hear you

me: (shouting back) it’s because of the music
August 10, 2025 at 2:03 PM
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Just spitballing here, but cryptobros throwing sex toys at WNBA players on the court and other cryptobros and male sports commentators calling it funny and telling the women and their coaches to 'lighten up' both explains the 'male loneliness epidemic' and why I don't care about it.
August 8, 2025 at 3:14 PM