Brian Caron
@acornbrain.bsky.social
Un-fluencer. Mostly harmless
Just me: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/feed/aaaknv3nrggu4
Sometimes I paint:
www.briancaron.com
Just me: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lcmic7aufmdzn4fdxtclgowv/feed/aaaknv3nrggu4
Sometimes I paint:
www.briancaron.com
Pinned
Brian Caron
@acornbrain.bsky.social
· Nov 18
It's a shame I abandoned years worth of hilarious jokes over on Twitter. Don't go and check, just trust me on this. Hilarious.
Reposted by Brian Caron
The only thing more painful than typing into a tv is watching someone else type into a tv
November 21, 2025 at 2:37 AM
The only thing more painful than typing into a tv is watching someone else type into a tv
Reposted by Brian Caron
Tried to bend over. my soul stayed upright and walked out without me.
November 22, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Tried to bend over. my soul stayed upright and walked out without me.
Eating oatmeal raisin cookies LIKE A GROWN-UP!
November 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Eating oatmeal raisin cookies LIKE A GROWN-UP!
Unplugging my phone at 97% because you always leave 'em wanting more.
November 22, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Unplugging my phone at 97% because you always leave 'em wanting more.
Father, Son and Holy Mackerel
November 22, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Father, Son and Holy Mackerel
I don't understand the cruel science of it, but looking good in the mirror does not transfer to the selfie.
November 22, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I don't understand the cruel science of it, but looking good in the mirror does not transfer to the selfie.
Learned about a new way to slice an avocado on Instagram and I'm excited to try it out this week. So yeah, still punk.
November 22, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Learned about a new way to slice an avocado on Instagram and I'm excited to try it out this week. So yeah, still punk.
All I've ever wanted to be was just the right size for my britches
November 22, 2025 at 3:58 AM
All I've ever wanted to be was just the right size for my britches
Reposted by Brian Caron
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
November 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Fifty two years old and I still can't figure out where to part my hair
November 21, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Fifty two years old and I still can't figure out where to part my hair
Reposted by Brian Caron
That wasn't very Forklift Certified of you
November 20, 2025 at 11:18 AM
That wasn't very Forklift Certified of you
Do drug companies worry they will run out of random syllables to moosh together to name their products?
November 20, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Do drug companies worry they will run out of random syllables to moosh together to name their products?
I know I harp on the tacky gold knickknacks alot, but in all seriousness it should be obvious that you should trust roughly 0% of the decisions that come from someone with taste THAT BAD.
November 16, 2025 at 5:53 PM
I know I harp on the tacky gold knickknacks alot, but in all seriousness it should be obvious that you should trust roughly 0% of the decisions that come from someone with taste THAT BAD.
Reposted by Brian Caron
Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"
November 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"
Clocking in at the shitpost factory.
November 16, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Clocking in at the shitpost factory.
Hear me out: a Big Mac, but with the two beef patties swapped out for Fish Fillet patties. Change nothing else.
November 15, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Hear me out: a Big Mac, but with the two beef patties swapped out for Fish Fillet patties. Change nothing else.
Reposted by Brian Caron
hey bruh your guitar is gently weeping
November 15, 2025 at 1:40 PM
hey bruh your guitar is gently weeping
Bot weatherman named A.I. Roker, is this anything
November 15, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Bot weatherman named A.I. Roker, is this anything
Reposted by Brian Caron
It turns out that anybody can be a greeter at Walmart. You don't even have to work there.
November 15, 2025 at 1:15 PM
It turns out that anybody can be a greeter at Walmart. You don't even have to work there.
Me, sourly regarding all the unpopped kernels at the bottom of the bowl: "That's a lot of duds there, Orville."
November 15, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Me, sourly regarding all the unpopped kernels at the bottom of the bowl: "That's a lot of duds there, Orville."
Reposted by Brian Caron
Do people who wash their cars know about rain?
November 7, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Do people who wash their cars know about rain?
If you don't have seven discarded receipts from the hardware store on the floor of your car and crumbled up in the cupholder, what are you even doing
November 15, 2025 at 12:58 PM
If you don't have seven discarded receipts from the hardware store on the floor of your car and crumbled up in the cupholder, what are you even doing
Me and my notes app:
November 15, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Me and my notes app:
Reposted by Brian Caron
I broke up with my farmer boyfriend. I wrote him a John Deere letter
November 5, 2025 at 9:53 AM
I broke up with my farmer boyfriend. I wrote him a John Deere letter
Turning on the news, or as I like to call it: "what did he fuck up today?"
November 14, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Turning on the news, or as I like to call it: "what did he fuck up today?"