@zooteeman.bsky.social
Beer, Rugby, Hot chillies, Think that’s everything.
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Every morning I take my Dog out for a walk and a poo, in the park..it's brilliant, she always barks to let me know if someone is coming. So I can quickly pull up my jeans and pretend I was looking for her ball...
January 23, 2026 at 8:53 AM
Every morning I take my Dog out for a walk and a poo, in the park..it's brilliant, she always barks to let me know if someone is coming. So I can quickly pull up my jeans and pretend I was looking for her ball...
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Trump’s Greenland speech at the WEF except it’s the voice of Pingu
January 21, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Trump’s Greenland speech at the WEF except it’s the voice of Pingu
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Got my mind on blahaj and blahaj on my mind
January 13, 2026 at 8:38 PM
Got my mind on blahaj and blahaj on my mind
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Surely Amorim doesn't survive this
January 4, 2026 at 5:11 PM
Surely Amorim doesn't survive this
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And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, was present at the end of the universe, having witnessed every black hole evaporate and every proton decay. Even so, Death would not come.
December 24, 2025 at 1:32 AM
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, was present at the end of the universe, having witnessed every black hole evaporate and every proton decay. Even so, Death would not come.
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Commentatorballs: collecting the very best of the wisdom of pundits. These are all real quotes from real commentators.
Watch ‘An Evening with Private Eye 2025’ in full, on Private Eye’s YouTube channel now.
Watch ‘An Evening with Private Eye 2025’ in full, on Private Eye’s YouTube channel now.
December 21, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Commentatorballs: collecting the very best of the wisdom of pundits. These are all real quotes from real commentators.
Watch ‘An Evening with Private Eye 2025’ in full, on Private Eye’s YouTube channel now.
Watch ‘An Evening with Private Eye 2025’ in full, on Private Eye’s YouTube channel now.
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The ref just wanted to check how Miami-Texas A&M was going 😅
December 20, 2025 at 8:30 PM
The ref just wanted to check how Miami-Texas A&M was going 😅
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Neurologist here. Years ago one of our patients had a brief loss of consciousness. When he woke up, I told him it was 3 years later. Our head nurse added "and your wife has left you."
December 19, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Neurologist here. Years ago one of our patients had a brief loss of consciousness. When he woke up, I told him it was 3 years later. Our head nurse added "and your wife has left you."
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I want to tip the dustmen for Christmas, but have no idea how.
Do I tape coins to the bin lid? Stand at the end of the drive with a brown envelope ?
Do I tape coins to the bin lid? Stand at the end of the drive with a brown envelope ?
December 14, 2025 at 6:20 PM
I want to tip the dustmen for Christmas, but have no idea how.
Do I tape coins to the bin lid? Stand at the end of the drive with a brown envelope ?
Do I tape coins to the bin lid? Stand at the end of the drive with a brown envelope ?
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Gave my husband elf duty one time.
December 14, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Gave my husband elf duty one time.
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In the post-truth era we live in, the fact a Muslim man risked his own life to protect Jewish lives is an inconvenience to those who seek to spread hate. And so the misinformation strategy begins to erase the name Ahmed al Ahmed from existence. Thus the invention of 'Edward Crabtree'
December 14, 2025 at 6:09 PM
In the post-truth era we live in, the fact a Muslim man risked his own life to protect Jewish lives is an inconvenience to those who seek to spread hate. And so the misinformation strategy begins to erase the name Ahmed al Ahmed from existence. Thus the invention of 'Edward Crabtree'
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I saw Rose Ayling-Ellis on my train. There was an announcement that the train was delayed. Thought I'd be a good citizen and write the message down and passed it to her. It wasn't her. It was a very confused non deaf woman.
December 10, 2025 at 10:20 AM
I saw Rose Ayling-Ellis on my train. There was an announcement that the train was delayed. Thought I'd be a good citizen and write the message down and passed it to her. It wasn't her. It was a very confused non deaf woman.
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"Sir, the cat has done a second whoopsie on the carpet"
December 7, 2025 at 2:27 PM
"Sir, the cat has done a second whoopsie on the carpet"
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‘I don’t know if this is true’
December 4, 2025 at 9:28 AM
‘I don’t know if this is true’
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Glorious, from a pal on FB
December 2, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Glorious, from a pal on FB
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If only Ferenc Puskás was alive today to win the McTominay Award
November 18, 2025 at 8:02 PM
If only Ferenc Puskás was alive today to win the McTominay Award
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Just found this picture of me enjoying myself in the audience at a gig in 2008 or something. (He let me go shortly afterwards.)
November 12, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Just found this picture of me enjoying myself in the audience at a gig in 2008 or something. (He let me go shortly afterwards.)
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I will shoot the northern lights with a gun and end them once and for all
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 AM
I will shoot the northern lights with a gun and end them once and for all
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As a TV licence payer I would like to give the BBC my permission to say fuck off to Trump.
November 11, 2025 at 8:46 AM
As a TV licence payer I would like to give the BBC my permission to say fuck off to Trump.
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It was later revealed that the researchers fabricated the study
November 6, 2025 at 11:53 AM
It was later revealed that the researchers fabricated the study
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November 6, 2025 at 4:19 PM
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