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vizcomic.bsky.social
Viz Comic
@vizcomic.bsky.social
29K followers 470 following 530 posts
Our readers have understood the concept of Buyer's Remorse since 1979.

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vizcomic.bsky.social
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IF you accidentally shrink a top in the wash, all is not lost. Simply pass on the item in question to a smaller friend, and then phone up a larger friend to see if they have made a similar mistake. Rasputin Cronkite, Leeds
February 19, 2026 at 4:40 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 19, 2026 at 4:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
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HADRIAN'S Wall was built to keep the Scots out of the Empire, but the Romans could have saved themselves a lot of time and money by not building it. I'm not sure how high it is, but last week in Tenerife, I saw five drunken Glaswegian blokes climb at least twenty-five foot to their balcony on account of they'd lost the key to their hotel room. Robert Greaves, London
February 18, 2026 at 9:20 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
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How is that tea tastes nice, biscuits taste nice, and biscuits dipped in tea taste nice, but that sludge you get at the bottom of a cup of tea tastes like sick? Perhaps the so-called "experts" can stop whining about global warming for five minutes and explain that one. David Milner, Durham
February 17, 2026 at 9:43 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 17, 2026 at 4:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
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WHY do cat food manufacturers bother making flavours like shrimp and beef. or duck and chicken? All my cat wants to do is lick his arse. Cat's arse-flavoured cat food, that's a winner. George Tringham, Bedford
February 16, 2026 at 7:57 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
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I think that if curlers want their sport to be taken seriously they shouldn't leave it till the last minute before cleaning the rink. Huw Allen, e-mail
February 15, 2026 at 8:10 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 15, 2026 at 4:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
FELLAS. Collect up all the nutshells, pine needles and orange peel dis. carded over the Christmas period put it in a little basket and you've got some lovely pot pourri to give to your beloved on Valentine's Day. Steve Crouch, Peterborough
February 14, 2026 at 9:22 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
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CYCLISTS. Avoid getting a sore arse by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack. Chris Pearson Southampton
February 13, 2026 at 7:14 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 13, 2026 at 4:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
I WAS always told that a piece of paper can only be folded in half seven times. Not so, because after stopping at Sandbach Services for a shit yesterday, I had to fold their bog paper at least twelve times for decent wipe and even then I still had a push through. Rex, Ayr
February 12, 2026 at 6:14 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 11, 2026 at 4:01 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
EBAY buyers. When viewing a listing, remember that 'untested' means it doesn't work, and "sold as seen' means it's completely fucked Shenkin Arsecandle, Llareggub
February 10, 2026 at 5:19 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
APPARENTLY it costs the NHS over £300,000 a year to remove foreign objects from people's rectums. Why aren't we removing British objects instead? Was Brexit all for nothing? Gerry Paton, London
February 9, 2026 at 11:06 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 9, 2026 at 4:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
HATS OFF to the Chumbawamba lads for their admirable resilience in the face of adversity. Last Friday, whilst ripped to the tits on a cocktail of whisky, lager and cider, I was myself "knocked down » by a nightclub bouncer. But unlike our erstwhile anarchist popsters, I didn't "get up again", and remained prostrate until the paramedics arrived. Kevin Caswell-Jones, Wrexham
February 8, 2026 at 7:47 PM
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February 8, 2026 at 12:00 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 7, 2026 at 4:00 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
WRAP a potato in silver foil and leave it in your house just in case your home catches fire and burns down. If the worst does happen, you will at least have a baked potato to look forward to. Derek Snowden, Bolton
February 6, 2026 at 6:37 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
February 5, 2026 at 6:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 5, 2026 at 4:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
WHAT A con these so-called "notebooks" are. They're just books without any words, and yet most of them cost much more than best-selling novels. If I was an author, I'd just be sending blank pages to my publisher and going down the pub. lan Shakespeare, Funtingdon-on-the-Funt
February 4, 2026 at 6:40 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like.

Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU

#viz #comedy #rude #swear
February 3, 2026 at 4:02 PM
vizcomic.bsky.social
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
IF A MONKEY randomly hitting keys on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare, then it stands to reason that Shakespeare randomly twanging strings on a guitar for an infinite amount of time would have eventually written the complete works of The Monkees. Is there no end to that man's talents? Robobonobo, Melbourne
February 2, 2026 at 4:04 PM