VeX
@vexdigest.bsky.social
Excerpts from the unwritten works. And cats.
Pinned
Reposted by VeX
Drinking water was invented by big toilet to cause more piss
November 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Drinking water was invented by big toilet to cause more piss
Reposted by VeX
You ever get the sense that the other Great Lakes are sick of dealing with Lake Superior's shit?
November 24, 2025 at 11:55 PM
You ever get the sense that the other Great Lakes are sick of dealing with Lake Superior's shit?
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Did you know that until 1941, there was a thanksgiving tradition where everyone would playfully bite the oldest person in attendance
November 24, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Did you know that until 1941, there was a thanksgiving tradition where everyone would playfully bite the oldest person in attendance
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Today is the first day of the rest of whatever holding pattern I am in.
November 20, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Today is the first day of the rest of whatever holding pattern I am in.
Reposted by VeX
The little noises you're hearing in your room at night are merely the quiet struggles of the twig-men from which this house is built. Rest easy, child, for they are securely nailed.
November 19, 2025 at 4:19 PM
The little noises you're hearing in your room at night are merely the quiet struggles of the twig-men from which this house is built. Rest easy, child, for they are securely nailed.
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The universe does things on a subatomic level that would get you arrested for bank fraud if you tried the financial equivalent.
November 19, 2025 at 4:59 AM
The universe does things on a subatomic level that would get you arrested for bank fraud if you tried the financial equivalent.
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[Werner Herzog voice] Mr. Potato Head is a monstrosity. More than a vegetable, yet less than human. With two feet, but no legs. His body parts interchangeable pieces. A grotesque plastic nightmare unworthy of love.
November 18, 2025 at 5:05 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] Mr. Potato Head is a monstrosity. More than a vegetable, yet less than human. With two feet, but no legs. His body parts interchangeable pieces. A grotesque plastic nightmare unworthy of love.
Reposted by VeX
When a clock ticks? You’re hearing math, my friend. And possibly space. I don’t know anything! Have a good day
November 14, 2025 at 8:01 PM
When a clock ticks? You’re hearing math, my friend. And possibly space. I don’t know anything! Have a good day
Do people still call each other "homeslice"?
November 12, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Do people still call each other "homeslice"?
Being haunted is a form of incorporeal punishment.
November 12, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Being haunted is a form of incorporeal punishment.
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As an empty husk I always enjoy seeing where I’ll end up whenever there’s a blustery wind
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 AM
As an empty husk I always enjoy seeing where I’ll end up whenever there’s a blustery wind
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Someone should try making an entire thanksgiving dinner with Baja blast in each dish.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
November 9, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Someone should try making an entire thanksgiving dinner with Baja blast in each dish.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
Reposted by VeX
we live in a world ruled by invisible power worms
November 7, 2025 at 4:21 PM
we live in a world ruled by invisible power worms
There once was a man from Decatur
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
November 2, 2025 at 6:30 PM
There once was a man from Decatur
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
Just learned that the cute "bunny kicks" that cats do are actually used for ritual disembowelment.
November 1, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Just learned that the cute "bunny kicks" that cats do are actually used for ritual disembowelment.
Reposted by VeX
All the best geometricians are crows but an unwillingness by the academy to engage with their oral tradition prevents due recognition
November 1, 2025 at 5:52 PM
All the best geometricians are crows but an unwillingness by the academy to engage with their oral tradition prevents due recognition
Figured out my last minute Halloween costume. Got a bunch of tiny squares of mirror glass I'm going to hot-gluegun to my balls, then pull them out through the fly of my pants (I.e. the Arizona Belt Buckle). I'll be Mr. Disco Balls. That oughta scare the trick or treaters.
October 31, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Figured out my last minute Halloween costume. Got a bunch of tiny squares of mirror glass I'm going to hot-gluegun to my balls, then pull them out through the fly of my pants (I.e. the Arizona Belt Buckle). I'll be Mr. Disco Balls. That oughta scare the trick or treaters.
Reposted by VeX
I want to mash your monster
October 31, 2025 at 12:50 AM
I want to mash your monster
Just railing lines of domestic bliss
October 29, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Just railing lines of domestic bliss
I'm not one to send dick pics, but if I were, I'd accompany them with the message: "They say that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. But take a gander at THIS goose."
October 29, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I'm not one to send dick pics, but if I were, I'd accompany them with the message: "They say that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. But take a gander at THIS goose."
I have been found guilty of moral twerpitude.
October 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I have been found guilty of moral twerpitude.
Hey @pabstblueribbon.bsky.social , I tried your cannabis-infused seltzer. May I suggest a slogan? "High-in-a-can. Fuck, that's the shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon." I'm sure Dennis Hopper would be on board.
October 25, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Hey @pabstblueribbon.bsky.social , I tried your cannabis-infused seltzer. May I suggest a slogan? "High-in-a-can. Fuck, that's the shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon." I'm sure Dennis Hopper would be on board.
If I could go back in time and give younger me some advice, I wouldn't because I know he'd tell me to fuck right off.
October 25, 2025 at 7:21 PM
If I could go back in time and give younger me some advice, I wouldn't because I know he'd tell me to fuck right off.