Audrey Farnsworth
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audipenny.bsky.social
Audrey Farnsworth
@audipenny.bsky.social
Writer; voice of the baby T. rex from the lost world jurassic park | https://linktr.ee/audipenny | https://audipenny.substack.com
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as a dedication to my 4+ year thread of movie reviews on tw*tter that I did as self care™️, I’m going to do it again here. As rebellion
anyone: happy new year

me, putting my arm around them like a guy telling you a huge secret: they don’t even have to do years anymore man, we don’t even need new ones. it can just be one LONG year FROM HELL. don’t tell anyone we spoke about this
January 6, 2026 at 7:41 PM
“Happy new year” hang on a second, let’s not go that far lmao. Check your confidence bud let’s be realistic
January 4, 2026 at 8:50 AM
Everyone on Stranger Things is always having a plan. I have never seen so many people having a plan together and sometimes separately
January 3, 2026 at 7:45 AM
Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth
All right everyone, we gave it our best shot but all we can do now is hope for better things in 2027.
January 1, 2026 at 5:19 PM
In 2026 i will put a hat on every parked cyber truck I see
January 2, 2026 at 9:08 PM
I don’t care what website has my email. Everybody can email me. Prompt me for my email address and I’ll throw it at you like a football, brother
January 2, 2026 at 8:34 AM
Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth
(open mouth staring at you as circus music plays) 2026 is going to be the best year
January 1, 2026 at 8:33 AM
(open mouth staring at you as circus music plays) 2026 is going to be the best year
January 1, 2026 at 8:33 AM
It’s not Christmas anymore so I’m watching a documentary about a tornado. Real regular shit. No more Santa or tree, just weather and news. and here comes the new year
December 31, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth
they’re making it so it’s not even going to be 2025 anymore. soon they’ll say being 2026 is mandatory for everyone
December 31, 2025 at 8:03 AM
i think I just made it to some sort of special level of LinkedIn
December 30, 2025 at 4:11 PM
usually this week feels weird but now every week feels weird so this week feels better because it feeling weird was regular. i also think we’re all currently dead. all right! i’ll talk to you later
December 29, 2025 at 7:13 AM
For 2026, I am going to be at least slightly more insane, if not very
December 28, 2025 at 8:04 AM
Clutched a catwoman action figure (gift from my dad 💅) watching this Christmas movie tonight
December 26, 2025 at 7:50 AM
every single gift under the tree is from me. ok? every single one. don’t look at the names, they’re all from me ok? All of the gifts are from me. Ok?
December 25, 2025 at 6:47 PM
is this a Christmas planet arriving to orbit earth for the huge holiday or is it my current Instagram profile picture? No one can know for sure
December 25, 2025 at 3:23 AM
krampus close your mouth bro!
December 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
hey buddy how’s your the holidays going? is it going jolly? is everything going very jolly for your big ass
December 23, 2025 at 8:33 AM
It’s the holiday season and hickory dock. And hickory dock. Hickory dock and hickory dock! Santa’s pants are hickory dock and he’s coming down the chimney now!
December 22, 2025 at 7:06 PM
sorry to franklin I do just mean hypothetically
December 22, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I’m honestly dead
@spiceweasel.bsky.social gave it a tune!
Ok I got some of the lyrics wrong but I had to try to sing this
December 22, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth
Time to bring back the song that, last year, immediately became my new favorite Christmas classic
All Santa songs are like:

He’s got a peppermint ass
And big huge pants
Big beard as long as a tree
So put a slice of plump cake
Upon a plate
And leave it for the guy to see
December 22, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Every time I hear the word “doorbuster” I feel either like the world is ending or it’s 1998. Sometimes both at the same time
December 21, 2025 at 6:53 AM
If Santa Claus ever started singing in front of me I would absolutely vomit because I was scared. And it would be embarrassing
December 20, 2025 at 7:28 AM
The other day I heard a raven flap its wings so fuckin loud dude, like you’ve never heard a wing flap like that. And do not fucking tell me you have
December 19, 2025 at 6:53 AM