Uhuru
@uhuru.bsky.social
Oh Americans don't have culture? How do you explain school shootings? 💅
August 14, 2023 at 2:49 AM
Oh Americans don't have culture? How do you explain school shootings? 💅
Reposted by Uhuru
Any object can serve briefly as a boat if you’re not a coward
making fun of the cybertruck tonight got me thinking about what has to be one of the funniest posts of all time: serve briefly as a boat
July 18, 2023 at 2:00 PM
Any object can serve briefly as a boat if you’re not a coward
Reposted by Uhuru
People in cars when a pedestrian has the right of way
July 18, 2023 at 7:25 PM
People in cars when a pedestrian has the right of way
Reposted by Uhuru
Once while I was on a date with some dude from Tinder, he asked me to call him "daddy" and I laughed so hard that I accidentally spilled coffee all over his Naruto shirt.
July 18, 2023 at 8:59 PM
Once while I was on a date with some dude from Tinder, he asked me to call him "daddy" and I laughed so hard that I accidentally spilled coffee all over his Naruto shirt.
If we're supposed to sit up straight, then why does it feel so good to just
July 18, 2023 at 10:14 PM
If we're supposed to sit up straight, then why does it feel so good to just
Reposted by Uhuru
If I ever make it to 50, just smother me to death with a squishmallow.
July 8, 2023 at 7:42 PM
If I ever make it to 50, just smother me to death with a squishmallow.
It will be a cold day in Hell before I say "You're welcome."
July 8, 2023 at 12:16 AM
It will be a cold day in Hell before I say "You're welcome."
Reposted by Uhuru
age 23, after being on my feet for 9 hours around boiling hot steam ovens: feeling pretty bushed but i think i can still go out tonight
age 34, after sitting at the computer for 3 hours: i am more tired than anyone in human history has ever been tired before
age 34, after sitting at the computer for 3 hours: i am more tired than anyone in human history has ever been tired before
July 5, 2023 at 4:14 PM
age 23, after being on my feet for 9 hours around boiling hot steam ovens: feeling pretty bushed but i think i can still go out tonight
age 34, after sitting at the computer for 3 hours: i am more tired than anyone in human history has ever been tired before
age 34, after sitting at the computer for 3 hours: i am more tired than anyone in human history has ever been tired before
Reposted by Uhuru
This is like 85% of the timeline on Twitter now
June 28, 2023 at 9:19 PM
This is like 85% of the timeline on Twitter now
Reposted by Uhuru
part of being an adult is realizing a lot of rules and norms are bullshit but submarine engineering regulations, those are very real
June 28, 2023 at 7:20 PM
part of being an adult is realizing a lot of rules and norms are bullshit but submarine engineering regulations, those are very real
Reposted by Uhuru
it must be so hard being a man. you're so sweaty and disgusting
June 28, 2023 at 9:06 PM
it must be so hard being a man. you're so sweaty and disgusting
Reposted by Uhuru
"help me get 1000 followers" no offense but why do you want your phone to be so annoying
June 25, 2023 at 10:20 PM
"help me get 1000 followers" no offense but why do you want your phone to be so annoying
Throwback to the time I found a dead snake in my closet. Help, I don't feel safe.
June 25, 2023 at 11:41 PM
Throwback to the time I found a dead snake in my closet. Help, I don't feel safe.
Reposted by Uhuru
the worst part about Russia discourse for me is that I can tell 95% of the people discussing it are talking out of their ass but I’m too stupid to know who’s in the 5%
June 25, 2023 at 10:16 PM
the worst part about Russia discourse for me is that I can tell 95% of the people discussing it are talking out of their ass but I’m too stupid to know who’s in the 5%
Reposted by Uhuru
no disappointment quite like the disappointment when the band starts playing werewolves of london and you're like "hell yeah baby, awoooo" but then it's that kid rock song instead
June 25, 2023 at 9:18 PM
no disappointment quite like the disappointment when the band starts playing werewolves of london and you're like "hell yeah baby, awoooo" but then it's that kid rock song instead
Reposted by Uhuru
hey bro so the light is kinda dying. you gonna rage against it or nah
June 25, 2023 at 12:50 PM
hey bro so the light is kinda dying. you gonna rage against it or nah
Reposted by Uhuru
Go ahead. Send a Haruspex after me. I'll have sex with it
June 25, 2023 at 3:31 PM
Go ahead. Send a Haruspex after me. I'll have sex with it
I see a lot of selfies. Am I using this app right?
June 25, 2023 at 1:04 AM
I see a lot of selfies. Am I using this app right?