@twigwrists.bsky.social
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You're too late, Mr. Bond; in the time it took you to get here I was able to sober up enough to drive
November 22, 2025 at 5:42 AM
You're too late, Mr. Bond; in the time it took you to get here I was able to sober up enough to drive
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Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
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i think everyone needs to proclaim whatever nazi tattoos they've got right now, while it's on everyone's minds. even if you're not running for office, let's just get all our cards on the table. i'll start — i'm normal, so i have none. let's have every former & current military member go next
October 22, 2025 at 10:06 PM
i think everyone needs to proclaim whatever nazi tattoos they've got right now, while it's on everyone's minds. even if you're not running for office, let's just get all our cards on the table. i'll start — i'm normal, so i have none. let's have every former & current military member go next
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oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter
October 17, 2025 at 4:10 PM
oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter
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people who put Harry Potter stuff on their dating profiles in 2025 are kinda like those Japanese soldiers who didn’t know the war was over except more embarrassing
August 13, 2025 at 2:10 PM
people who put Harry Potter stuff on their dating profiles in 2025 are kinda like those Japanese soldiers who didn’t know the war was over except more embarrassing
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Having a job has crippled my productivity.
August 4, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Having a job has crippled my productivity.
I'll do it 👍
NEWS:
Democratic mega-donors are debating plans to spend tens of millions of dollars on a range of influencer plans to "find the liberal Rogan."
We've got pitch decks, investor meetings, and internal docs.
One Democrat has a spreadsheet of 26 different proposals.
www.nytimes.com/2025/05/20/u...
Democratic mega-donors are debating plans to spend tens of millions of dollars on a range of influencer plans to "find the liberal Rogan."
We've got pitch decks, investor meetings, and internal docs.
One Democrat has a spreadsheet of 26 different proposals.
www.nytimes.com/2025/05/20/u...
Democrats Throw Money at a Problem: Countering G.O.P. Clout Online
www.nytimes.com
May 20, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I'll do it 👍
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wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
May 18, 2025 at 9:13 PM
wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
guard: [looking away] fine
wife: did something happen?
guard: [tearing up] no
wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?
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I'm sick of online, but what else is there to do? My job?
February 20, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I'm sick of online, but what else is there to do? My job?
I just learned about Baader-Meinhof and now I feel like I’m seeing it everywhere
February 12, 2025 at 12:53 AM
I just learned about Baader-Meinhof and now I feel like I’m seeing it everywhere
I can’t wait to be cut in half by one of these things while on a leisurely stroll
February 9, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I can’t wait to be cut in half by one of these things while on a leisurely stroll
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“Wait… really?”
— people ten years from now being told that Madame Web didn’t win best picture
— people ten years from now being told that Madame Web didn’t win best picture
January 23, 2025 at 2:28 PM
“Wait… really?”
— people ten years from now being told that Madame Web didn’t win best picture
— people ten years from now being told that Madame Web didn’t win best picture
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I'm in a miserable mood constantly, but I don't let it get me down.
January 17, 2025 at 8:33 PM
I'm in a miserable mood constantly, but I don't let it get me down.
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Looking for a private service that can help me get this camel through the eye of a needle. I’ll pay anything
January 9, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Looking for a private service that can help me get this camel through the eye of a needle. I’ll pay anything
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Just saw a video of a drunk woman getting arrested at an airport and she said “how are you going to hold my accountable for something I did 20 minutes ago” and the beauty of that statement fully floored me.
January 5, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Just saw a video of a drunk woman getting arrested at an airport and she said “how are you going to hold my accountable for something I did 20 minutes ago” and the beauty of that statement fully floored me.
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I had 4 days off and by the end of that time I was thinking about creative pursuits, maybe even getting involved in my community. Thank god that's over now
December 2, 2024 at 9:07 PM
I had 4 days off and by the end of that time I was thinking about creative pursuits, maybe even getting involved in my community. Thank god that's over now
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2026 will be my year. I can feel it.
January 1, 2025 at 5:36 AM
2026 will be my year. I can feel it.
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Well, I hope I'm happy.
December 31, 2024 at 5:23 AM
Well, I hope I'm happy.
She mummer on my farce til I jest
December 28, 2024 at 9:44 PM
She mummer on my farce til I jest
Real G’s move in lasagna
December 28, 2024 at 9:38 PM
Real G’s move in lasagna
Me when Dave says some real shit
December 19, 2024 at 1:36 AM
Me when Dave says some real shit
Run, don’t walk to your local pool’s diving board
December 9, 2024 at 2:49 AM
Run, don’t walk to your local pool’s diving board
I have decided to declare martial law. Watch this space
December 9, 2024 at 2:17 AM
I have decided to declare martial law. Watch this space