david tveite
@tveite.bsky.social
for some reason it's pronounced "twighty." i do standup and i go to the grocery store and that's basically it.
www.davidtveite.com
www.davidtveite.com
how many years away are we from the first 80 yard field goal
November 11, 2025 at 2:26 AM
how many years away are we from the first 80 yard field goal
Reposted by david tveite
this is literally never not accurate
November 10, 2025 at 6:32 PM
this is literally never not accurate
in response to joyce carol oates saying he doesn't enjoy art elon has hung a boondock saints poster behind him so it's visible in zoom meetings
November 10, 2025 at 9:23 PM
in response to joyce carol oates saying he doesn't enjoy art elon has hung a boondock saints poster behind him so it's visible in zoom meetings
in all the years i was drinking the weirdest decision i made was making yuengling my go-to when i lived in dc. awful beer. tasted terrible. made me feel like shit. for four years i was like i'll keep drinking that garbage.
November 9, 2025 at 12:27 AM
in all the years i was drinking the weirdest decision i made was making yuengling my go-to when i lived in dc. awful beer. tasted terrible. made me feel like shit. for four years i was like i'll keep drinking that garbage.
once king kong was on top of the empire state building i don't think he had any idea how to get down. if they just let him chill up there for a bit they could have reset the situation and approached things more constructively. hindsight's always 20/20 but sending the airplanes was a bad call imo.
November 7, 2025 at 5:08 PM
once king kong was on top of the empire state building i don't think he had any idea how to get down. if they just let him chill up there for a bit they could have reset the situation and approached things more constructively. hindsight's always 20/20 but sending the airplanes was a bad call imo.
Reposted by david tveite
i am way too politics brained lately, gonna have to lock myself in a room until i've written 10 jokes about carrots or something
November 5, 2025 at 11:59 PM
i am way too politics brained lately, gonna have to lock myself in a room until i've written 10 jokes about carrots or something
i'm not thrilled that my flight home for christmas has been canceled but i'm happy to make the sacrifice in order to protect the folks who are named in the epstein files
November 5, 2025 at 9:57 PM
i'm not thrilled that my flight home for christmas has been canceled but i'm happy to make the sacrifice in order to protect the folks who are named in the epstein files
*tune of "kiss me" by sixpence none the richer*
piss, pee
piss, pee
November 5, 2025 at 8:46 PM
*tune of "kiss me" by sixpence none the richer*
piss, pee
piss, pee
hard to know how to approach this book. pynchon can be difficult enough to follow when you're sober but to get the full effect here i think you have to read it stoned.
November 5, 2025 at 6:08 PM
hard to know how to approach this book. pynchon can be difficult enough to follow when you're sober but to get the full effect here i think you have to read it stoned.
Reposted by david tveite
Cuomo gave a fairly graceless concession speech, and Mamdani rips his skin off:
"My friends, we have toppled a political dynasty. I wish Andrew Cuomo the best in private life. But let tonight be the last time I mention his name."
"My friends, we have toppled a political dynasty. I wish Andrew Cuomo the best in private life. But let tonight be the last time I mention his name."
November 5, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Cuomo gave a fairly graceless concession speech, and Mamdani rips his skin off:
"My friends, we have toppled a political dynasty. I wish Andrew Cuomo the best in private life. But let tonight be the last time I mention his name."
"My friends, we have toppled a political dynasty. I wish Andrew Cuomo the best in private life. But let tonight be the last time I mention his name."
nobody is better than burneko for stuff like this
a send-off: defector.com/dick-cheney-...
Dick Cheney Departs The World He Made | Defector
At its heart, American conservatism is a fantasy. It’s a vision of a world too evil to be saved or cared about, and fearsome enough to justify any and every impulse toward cruelty and violence that a ...
defector.com
November 4, 2025 at 7:12 PM
nobody is better than burneko for stuff like this
thinkin about all those happy thriving people in the alternate universe where dick cheney got trapped in a walk-in freezer and died of hypothermia in 1972
November 4, 2025 at 5:03 PM
thinkin about all those happy thriving people in the alternate universe where dick cheney got trapped in a walk-in freezer and died of hypothermia in 1972
rip mister richard cheney thank you sir for all the cruelty stupidity and misery you brought into our world
November 4, 2025 at 2:07 PM
rip mister richard cheney thank you sir for all the cruelty stupidity and misery you brought into our world
Reposted by david tveite
Reposted by david tveite
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
November 3, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
Reposted by david tveite
Still need more baseball?
We found a CD in our archives containing dozens of unused voice lines from MLB Slugfest 20-03 rejected by the MLB. Here's some of our favorites.
We found a CD in our archives containing dozens of unused voice lines from MLB Slugfest 20-03 rejected by the MLB. Here's some of our favorites.
November 3, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Still need more baseball?
We found a CD in our archives containing dozens of unused voice lines from MLB Slugfest 20-03 rejected by the MLB. Here's some of our favorites.
We found a CD in our archives containing dozens of unused voice lines from MLB Slugfest 20-03 rejected by the MLB. Here's some of our favorites.
hey @realgdt.bsky.social how come you like spooky guys so much
November 3, 2025 at 8:56 PM
hey @realgdt.bsky.social how come you like spooky guys so much
the american experiment may be doomed but at least it limped along far enough for the candy companies to start putting salted caramel in a bunch of shit
November 3, 2025 at 8:17 PM
the american experiment may be doomed but at least it limped along far enough for the candy companies to start putting salted caramel in a bunch of shit
you tellin me a butter nutted this squash
November 2, 2025 at 9:52 PM
you tellin me a butter nutted this squash
i don't really care about the dodgers or the blue jays but this baseball game is still making my tummy hurt
November 2, 2025 at 2:51 AM
i don't really care about the dodgers or the blue jays but this baseball game is still making my tummy hurt
i love seeing baseball players lay out to make a diving catch in the field but my thing is hey doesn't that hurt a lot
November 2, 2025 at 1:20 AM
i love seeing baseball players lay out to make a diving catch in the field but my thing is hey doesn't that hurt a lot
ah sorry man i can't make it to your halloween party this year i told the missus I'd stay home and help her meddle with forces beyond our comprehension
October 31, 2025 at 11:09 PM
ah sorry man i can't make it to your halloween party this year i told the missus I'd stay home and help her meddle with forces beyond our comprehension
Reposted by david tveite
People should use their SNAP benefits for whatever they think they need. Both because any effort you make to micromanage purchases is inefficient and cumbersome and because people who need help aren’t obligated to perform for or satisfy others in order to eat.
October 31, 2025 at 9:56 PM
People should use their SNAP benefits for whatever they think they need. Both because any effort you make to micromanage purchases is inefficient and cumbersome and because people who need help aren’t obligated to perform for or satisfy others in order to eat.