Tim Kachur
timkachur.bsky.social
Tim Kachur
@timkachur.bsky.social
A man with many interests. Once, I scored a goal described as Caliguiri-esque. #nufc #philly
again asking the NFL to adopt a version the Aussie Rules playoffs. Adds a week and a team, so 8 teams per conference. In week 1, the 4 division winners play (4 at 1, 3 at 2). Winners get a bye and losers play at home in 2nd week against the wild card winners from wk 1 (8 at 5, 7 at 6).
December 19, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
Big day at U.S. District Court in D.C. where Sean Dunn, the D.C. Sandwich Guy, is on trial for misdemeanor assault of a federal officer.

Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss.

'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says.
November 4, 2025 at 3:28 PM
My guillotine league team built around Bowers and Higgins would have been great today if I weren't eliminated in week 4
November 3, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
For the 6th year in a row, a player named Will Smith has won the World Series

2020 - Will Smith (C), Dodgers

2021 - Will Smith (RP), Braves

2022 - Will Smith (RP), Astros

2023 - Will Smith (RP), Rangers

2024 - Will Smith (C), Dodgers

2025 - Will Smith (C), Dodgers
November 2, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
Somehow John Smoltz still sounds bored.
November 2, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
Googling longest postseason games and Google AI says that the Tigers have won this game!
October 11, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
baseball is the best preparation for death because it does not come with a clock that tells you when your suffering will end one way or the other
October 11, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
ADAM AMIN: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
ADAM AMIN: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
ADAM AMIN: oh god yes
AJ PIERZYNSKI: shoulda bunted
October 11, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Ball don't lie
October 11, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
Ranger Suárez pitches like he has plot armor
October 9, 2025 at 3:24 AM
You hate to see it
September 29, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
This only happens to you once
September 26, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
People saying Trump is dying or possibly dead, but I for one would urge caution, because it is quite possible a second healtbar will appear as he enters his second phase and a gargantuan centipede will burst forth from his torso, so be careful of his new sweep attacks and toxic buildup from bites.
August 30, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
For a Student Who Used AI to Write a Paper
August 4, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
July 30, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
My 8-year-old made their own version of the game Life, and it's way more accurate than the original. The path is convoluted. The rules change on a whim (but always in favor of the game's creator). The real estate is outlandishly expensive. The jobs pay either $9K or $999,999K. The goal is unclear.
July 28, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
BARTIROMO: Do you expect indictments and prosecutions?

GABBARD: In my view, yes, we have evidence to be able to move forward to prosecute and indict those responsible

BARTIROMO: I want to put a spotlight on those responsible -- Barack Obama, John Brennan, James Clapper ...
July 20, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
Should humanity exist? Let’s ask a man who cofounded an online payment-processing platform 27 years ago
June 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
1 year ago ~to the day~
May 14, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
I like to think that the biggest influence present in the Chicago and Philly chapters of the Pope’s life was Greg Luzinski
May 8, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
I'm at Elon Musk's draft party. Before every pick he says the team is going to draft Updog and starts laughing to himself between ketamine hits. He's given vials of sperm to 3 cocktail waitresses. One of his kids is running around with a Glock.
April 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
We've reached the point in our descent into fascism where the Jewish governor's house getting firebombed on Passover by a guy trying to bash his head in with a sledgehammer is overshadowed by the story of the President saying he wants to build foreign gulags for US citizens.
April 15, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Reposted by Tim Kachur
April 8, 2025 at 12:03 AM
BDB!
March 16, 2025 at 5:16 PM