Sunshine Jarboly
@sunshinejarboly.bsky.social
puppy petter. eagle trainer. drinker of milk. taker of naps. Writer. my books are available at https://linktr.ee/sunshinejarboly
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
my tweets
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
inventor of soup talking to a group of investors: we’re at the one yard line. we just have to figure out a way to keep it contained on the plate.
inventor of the bowl: {bursts into the room} ahem, may i have your attention…
inventor of the bowl: {bursts into the room} ahem, may i have your attention…
November 18, 2025 at 2:53 PM
inventor of soup talking to a group of investors: we’re at the one yard line. we just have to figure out a way to keep it contained on the plate.
inventor of the bowl: {bursts into the room} ahem, may i have your attention…
inventor of the bowl: {bursts into the room} ahem, may i have your attention…
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
My rain poncho has a kind of otherworldly feel to it, and doesn't work.
November 15, 2025 at 3:51 AM
My rain poncho has a kind of otherworldly feel to it, and doesn't work.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Building a tasteful shrine to Cowboy Madonna.
November 14, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Building a tasteful shrine to Cowboy Madonna.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Guy selling spray-on rubber on the TV seems pretty committed.
November 17, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Guy selling spray-on rubber on the TV seems pretty committed.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
I'm thinking curtains will help me get in touch with my emotions.
November 18, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I'm thinking curtains will help me get in touch with my emotions.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Some of you wear pants at home and it shows
November 18, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Some of you wear pants at home and it shows
*bro math*
if brandon travels east in his vw scirocco at 71 mph & travis travels west in his toyota supra at 83 mph how long will it take before they can high five each other in front of the fish taco truck? please factor in a variable of the speed of cody getting a tribal tattoo
if brandon travels east in his vw scirocco at 71 mph & travis travels west in his toyota supra at 83 mph how long will it take before they can high five each other in front of the fish taco truck? please factor in a variable of the speed of cody getting a tribal tattoo
November 17, 2025 at 4:30 PM
*bro math*
if brandon travels east in his vw scirocco at 71 mph & travis travels west in his toyota supra at 83 mph how long will it take before they can high five each other in front of the fish taco truck? please factor in a variable of the speed of cody getting a tribal tattoo
if brandon travels east in his vw scirocco at 71 mph & travis travels west in his toyota supra at 83 mph how long will it take before they can high five each other in front of the fish taco truck? please factor in a variable of the speed of cody getting a tribal tattoo
*holding my grandma’s hand on her deathbed, i suddenly see that she’s wearing the heart of the ocean around her neck*
where did you get that?
where did you get that?
November 17, 2025 at 3:47 AM
*holding my grandma’s hand on her deathbed, i suddenly see that she’s wearing the heart of the ocean around her neck*
where did you get that?
where did you get that?
me, the lector at mass: if at first you don’t succeed, then give up. don’t try again. you failed. move on with your life. go to bed. go to hell. what do i care.
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
November 16, 2025 at 6:49 PM
me, the lector at mass: if at first you don’t succeed, then give up. don’t try again. you failed. move on with your life. go to bed. go to hell. what do i care.
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
*an alter boy cuts off power to my mic while the priest has already started the excommunication paperwork*
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
I wave whenever I hear a failing exhaust because I figure it’s someone I know
November 16, 2025 at 1:35 PM
I wave whenever I hear a failing exhaust because I figure it’s someone I know
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
It’s gonna take a lot more than that to change my mind. Maybe do a magic trick or something
November 16, 2025 at 1:41 PM
It’s gonna take a lot more than that to change my mind. Maybe do a magic trick or something
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Some things we simply cannot know on this plane: is there a god? What is our purpose? Where did all my iTunes music go? The lyrics to Rocket Man etc…
November 16, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Some things we simply cannot know on this plane: is there a god? What is our purpose? Where did all my iTunes music go? The lyrics to Rocket Man etc…
sometimes when i’m sitting under a tree or next to a car with no wheels in an empty parking lot i’ll think to myself, “where does pudding come from?” & then there’s other times when i’ll think, “how long have i been dead?”
November 16, 2025 at 4:36 PM
sometimes when i’m sitting under a tree or next to a car with no wheels in an empty parking lot i’ll think to myself, “where does pudding come from?” & then there’s other times when i’ll think, “how long have i been dead?”
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Dear Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Desperate Situations,
Have you seen Bluesky?
Have you seen Bluesky?
May 18, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Dear Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Desperate Situations,
Have you seen Bluesky?
Have you seen Bluesky?
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
November 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Whenever you buy plumbing supplies at home depot they should be required to say ‘see you in an hour or so’’.
November 15, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Whenever you buy plumbing supplies at home depot they should be required to say ‘see you in an hour or so’’.
*christmas eve & i’ve pinned santa claus to the ground*
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
November 15, 2025 at 7:01 PM
*christmas eve & i’ve pinned santa claus to the ground*
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
how did you get in here?! who let you in?! WHO SENT YOU?!!!
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
A powdered wig on a barrister but the powder is cheeto dust
November 13, 2025 at 3:18 PM
A powdered wig on a barrister but the powder is cheeto dust
me: i can’t wait to stream one battle after another on my phone.
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
November 15, 2025 at 12:12 AM
me: i can’t wait to stream one battle after another on my phone.
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
my friend who is a film buff: {going into full cardiac arrest}
*santa claus & his wife as played by frank & estelle costanza*
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
November 14, 2025 at 4:53 PM
*santa claus & his wife as played by frank & estelle costanza*
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
frank: {finishes his dinner} don’t wait up, i’ll be in the workshop all night.
estelle: WHY DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN THERE?!
frank: {looks up} BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THEIR SON WAS GOD!!!
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
The Easter candy in the back of the cupboard is fresh now. That’s science. That’s how it works.
November 14, 2025 at 4:29 PM
The Easter candy in the back of the cupboard is fresh now. That’s science. That’s how it works.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
Me: I need to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
November 13, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Me: I need to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
Dog: *walks up and spits out a live roach*
Me: I need events to relax.
Reposted by Sunshine Jarboly
MARGARET: Are you there God, it's me, Margaret
GOD: I have a boyfriend
GOD: I have a boyfriend
November 11, 2025 at 10:22 PM
MARGARET: Are you there God, it's me, Margaret
GOD: I have a boyfriend
GOD: I have a boyfriend