jspieles
jspieles
@spieles.bsky.social
Reposted by jspieles
The Onion, 23 years ago.

theonion.com/no-blood-for...
December 17, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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According to a new court filing, the Trump administration has a six-page list of banned words that Head Start locations are forbidden from using when describing their programs.
Among the censored words: "disability," "race," "women," "trauma," "Gulf of Mexico." Short thread with the full list. 🧵
December 10, 2025 at 11:51 PM
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If you ever wondered what GOP gerrymandering looks like in red states with blue cities, I present:
December 2, 2025 at 8:49 PM
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Handing back student work that’s been written by ChatGPT with a 0 followed by the comment “This essay will never stand in authentic wonder before the Beauty of God’s creation.”
Pope Leo XIV told students not to use artificial intelligence for homework, saying that AI ‘won’t stand in authentic wonder before the beauty of God’s creation.’
Even God Is Worried About ChatGPT
Pope Leo XIV told students not to use artificial intelligence for homework, saying that AI ‘won’t stand in authentic wonder before the beauty of God’s creation.’
www.vulture.com
November 26, 2025 at 3:35 PM
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A story in 3 acts:
November 24, 2025 at 9:38 PM
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mr president sir, the pollsters are saying you should drop more diarrhea on the nation youre leading sir
November 5, 2025 at 2:33 PM
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"Why can’t they cope with a jeans company using a woman using her prettiness or a government using every available means of state intimidation to extort contracts and cash from other nations?"
Liberals Get So Upset About Every Little Jeans Ad and Blatant Corruption Scandal
Some hyper-sensitive Americans love to cry buckets of liberal tears over every minor provocation, like the Sydney Sweeney jeans ad or how the polic...
buff.ly
August 7, 2025 at 1:40 AM
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This piece by @sarahjeong.bsky.social and @lopatto.bsky.social goes hard, pulls no punches, and should be required reading. www.theverge.com/policy/69730...
Some patriotic reflections on Independence Day
Look at me. I’m the originalist, now.
www.theverge.com
July 4, 2025 at 9:07 PM
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Grape Nuts (holding me back): Whoa whoa whoa, hey man, just let it go! This asshole isn't worth it!
December 4, 2024 at 12:14 AM
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the reason these trucks look “silly” is that they have large windshields and a low hood, which increases visibility and reduces risk to pedestrians.

trucks like this should look normal and F-150s should be the silly ones
The new EVs have had problems. And they do look very silly.

Selling them off would set USPS back a decade — it’d cost billions of dollars, and the current fleet of gas-guzzlers are frankly dangerous to drive.
The Postal Service’s electric mail trucks are way behind schedule
Defense contractor Oshkosh had only delivered 93 trucks by November — compared to 3,000 expected by now. The delays put Biden’s climate goals at risk.
www.washingtonpost.com
June 21, 2025 at 7:07 PM
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lol. lmao, even.
May 7, 2025 at 10:56 PM
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Ezra Klein and Jon Stewart over-simplify and caricature the restrictions on this $42.5 billion broadband grant program to falsely paint the whole thing as an irredeemable waste.

But they fail to mention a lot of important stuff because they didn't actually understand what they were talking about...
‘Oh My F**king God!’ Jon Stewart Left ‘Speechless’ As Ezra Klein Breaks Down Biden Era Red Tape
Jon Stewart was thrown into a state of shock as he listened to Ezra Klein break down the red tape involved in Biden's Build Back Better Act.
www.mediaite.com
March 31, 2025 at 2:24 PM
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🔑 under-discussed point — why they were on signal:
March 25, 2025 at 11:59 AM
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the Trump administration is dropping enforcement action against a plant that's exposing a mostly-Black community to cancer-causing levels of chloroprene because it's "wasteful" and "DEI," while RFK flaps his arms vaguely about food coloring www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Trump administration to drop case against plant polluting Louisiana’s ‘Cancer Alley’
Biden-era suit sought to curb emissions of the carcinogen chloroprene at Denka plant formerly owned by DuPont
www.theguardian.com
March 11, 2025 at 8:22 PM
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These dummies could have had a compliant corporate Dem with literal Uber lobbyists on her staff and instead they did school shootings and measles
Presented without comment. www.ft.com/content/a7c9...
February 15, 2025 at 2:24 PM
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You know who's actually meeting this moment well?

McSweeney's. They've been on absolute fire.
"Our party must act swiftly. There’s no time for hesitation. Or delay. Or dawdling. Or dragging our feet. Or indecision. Or dilly-dallying. Or stalling. Or hemming and hawing. Or equivocation. Or grandstanding. Or mincing words. Or slow-walking. Or procrastinating."
I Vow to Fight Autocracy with Unprecedented Levels of Finger Wagging
“Chuck Schumer, the Democratic leader in the Senate, has reportedly been criticized by some of the party’s state governors for not resisting Donald...
buff.ly
February 12, 2025 at 2:31 AM
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According to Trump only two members of the Burger King Kid's Club deserve government jobs.
January 31, 2025 at 3:21 PM
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it's been a rough week so i thought i'd rotate a gyro for everyone. as a treat
January 29, 2025 at 7:18 PM
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January 20, 2025 at 12:04 AM
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January 8, 2025 at 8:26 AM
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"Smart" does so much work in American culture. For example, another myth we don't talk about is how people who are intelligent and have technically marketable skills are also too "smart" to get duped by con artists. They are not. Nerds are huge marks tbh.
the foundational myth of the tech industry is that smart people can't be evil
December 23, 2024 at 9:49 PM
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Every year the acting awards ignore my stunning performances as the attentive father in dramas like "Absolutely, I'd Love to Hear About Your New Fortnite Skins"
December 7, 2024 at 12:22 AM
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A doctor’s letter to United Healthcare for denying nausea meds for a child on chemo
December 5, 2024 at 3:01 PM