what they dont tell you is that overnight oats dont need to be made overnight. a whole world opens when you realize you can make oats whenever you want

if i ever get a job where i have to hit a KPI i'll start doing crimes

i bring sort of a soulful melancholic vibe that the other dancers in this conga line dont really appreciate

rough day. not much I can do. so here's a frog.

when grading homemade breakfast foods by cost-benefit, hash browns are dancing right on the razor’s edge. they’re so good they’re barely worth it. grating up the potatoes isn’t a big deal, but between the washing and the drying, buddy, you fuck up once and you’re off the tour

Doing some research into folding proteins (making an omelette)

I was recently gifted a food processor. I’ve never owned one this complicated with cups, bowls and slicing options before, and I have learned two things:

1. I get why people say to pulse food instead of leaving it on.
2. I know how purées are made.
3. I will not be eating a chicken salad tonight.

#catcrumb

artists at concerts always got that earpiece dangling out of their ear. babe get rid of it or put it back in, ur embarrassing urself

#catcrumb

"I'm still punk," I sigh as I order decaf coffee.

idk bro but sounds like you need to move to the country and eat a lot of peaches

The hot new fall drink is a big mug of hot garlic butter.

All the cool people are slurping garlic butter as a beverage

If you need me I’ll be in the forest eating rotten wood with my homies (mushrooms)

Man On Internet Almost Falls Into World Of DIY Mustard Enthusiasts
theonion.com/man-on-inter...