the hot new trend is ‘yosemite samming.’ kids are going crazy for doing finger guns but shaking them at the ceiling instead of pointing them at each other

You're laughing, Darth Vader is dead and you're laughing. He had two kids and his wife died in child birth, yes he oversaw the literal destruction of an entire planet, I mean he legit blew it up into a million pieces, but he was a family man first and foremost.

not now, sweetie. mommy’s hate watching that new Blake Lively movie

You there - what day is it?
Why sir, it's stylish but illegal ikea monkey day
Stylish but illegal ikea monkey day! Then I haven't missed it!!

still wild to me that the Blair Witch Project is real and the Blair Witch exists and she just gets to be an influencer now like nothing happened

The scene of Mae cutting her hair with the lightsaber is actually great because she’s essentially knighting herself, just like in jedi tradition. #RenewtheAcolyte

when skeleton crew plot evolves into a treasure island thing cut my check because i called it

Skeleton Crew is so perfect because it manages to tell a “Last Starfighter” type childhood fantasy story, a story about getting to literally escape into a Star Wars story, while still also working completely within the SW universe.

I need to start a manosphere podcast. Theory: start with conspiracies about testosterone levels and microwaving your balls or whatever, and slowwwly Segway into reading Elizabeth Gaskell and working on fine penmanship.

Meanwhile capitalists

I wish Warren Zevon were alive to write a song called “Busted At A McDonald’s In Altoona.”

KNIVES OUT is a Christmas movie because Chris Evans wears a sweater.

Currently crying laughing at the fact that my gf just called James Gandolfini “Gandalf Mancini” thinking that was his actual name. I’m losing it.

a movie called nosferatatouille, where a bat sits on draculas head and turns him into a world-renowned pastry chef