I'm spiritual, but only enough to be a bad person
December 8, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I'm spiritual, but only enough to be a bad person
It's funny that qanon was so wrong that the universe made the opposite come true just to mock them
December 3, 2025 at 3:22 AM
It's funny that qanon was so wrong that the universe made the opposite come true just to mock them
Just think of the grooming tools we would have invented if nose hair started in the sinus cavity and then grew out your nose/down your throat
December 3, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Just think of the grooming tools we would have invented if nose hair started in the sinus cavity and then grew out your nose/down your throat
Imagine how inconvenient it would be if your teeth never stopped growing
December 3, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Imagine how inconvenient it would be if your teeth never stopped growing
Stephen miller is only in politics because when he tried to murder sex workers, they beat him up and made him cry.
September 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Stephen miller is only in politics because when he tried to murder sex workers, they beat him up and made him cry.
What if your balls were like eggs, and if it was the right temperature for too long they hatched and that's how babies were made
June 26, 2025 at 8:16 PM
What if your balls were like eggs, and if it was the right temperature for too long they hatched and that's how babies were made
Slap fighting, but it's all pirates
April 7, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Slap fighting, but it's all pirates
The band Coldplay got their name from necrophilia
April 6, 2025 at 2:55 AM
The band Coldplay got their name from necrophilia
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
if there's a silver lining to Gretzky selling his country out it's that we can admit he scored 600 times before the invention of goaltending
April 4, 2025 at 8:43 PM
if there's a silver lining to Gretzky selling his country out it's that we can admit he scored 600 times before the invention of goaltending
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
my verdict on the Leafs' deadline is that it is Pretty Good. if you're worried they gave up too much in futures, remember that the window is in the next few years, and that by 2028 we'll all be fighting in the Etobicoke Liberation Army anyway
March 7, 2025 at 10:37 PM
my verdict on the Leafs' deadline is that it is Pretty Good. if you're worried they gave up too much in futures, remember that the window is in the next few years, and that by 2028 we'll all be fighting in the Etobicoke Liberation Army anyway
I can't wait for democrats to really take a stand and help the populace by putting on dashikis and kneel in parliament or something
March 6, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I can't wait for democrats to really take a stand and help the populace by putting on dashikis and kneel in parliament or something
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
We need to figure out a way for one particular historical event to happen. A lot of historical events are happening now, but not the one I have in mind. This one would be of great interest to most people I think.
February 21, 2025 at 1:43 AM
We need to figure out a way for one particular historical event to happen. A lot of historical events are happening now, but not the one I have in mind. This one would be of great interest to most people I think.
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
This moment easily rivals the game 7's and Zamboni driver clips. Please show @stevedangle20.bsky.social and @sdpnsports.bsky.social some love with a follow
February 21, 2025 at 5:37 AM
This moment easily rivals the game 7's and Zamboni driver clips. Please show @stevedangle20.bsky.social and @sdpnsports.bsky.social some love with a follow
Me: ....so basically the entire premise of the black parade is child abuse, that is too much responsibility for a child."
My wife: please leave the auditorium, this is our daughter's play.
My wife: please leave the auditorium, this is our daughter's play.
February 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Me: ....so basically the entire premise of the black parade is child abuse, that is too much responsibility for a child."
My wife: please leave the auditorium, this is our daughter's play.
My wife: please leave the auditorium, this is our daughter's play.
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power
February 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
"So long, suckers," I sobbed. The suckers were my dearest friends. I'd miss them terribly
February 17, 2025 at 2:42 AM
"So long, suckers," I sobbed. The suckers were my dearest friends. I'd miss them terribly
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Had he lived, today Abraham would be 216 years old and 95 feet tall.
February 12, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Had he lived, today Abraham would be 216 years old and 95 feet tall.
My conversion therapy dog idea was met with open hostility, so much for the tolerant left
February 12, 2025 at 11:16 PM
My conversion therapy dog idea was met with open hostility, so much for the tolerant left
I've made $6k because I walked through an american neighbourhood wearing a shirt that said "wallet inspector"
February 11, 2025 at 5:23 PM
I've made $6k because I walked through an american neighbourhood wearing a shirt that said "wallet inspector"
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
He was karate-chopping the neck of a transgender ghost. Calm down everyone.
January 21, 2025 at 5:52 AM
He was karate-chopping the neck of a transgender ghost. Calm down everyone.
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
Nazis: "that's a nazi salute"
Historians: "that's a nazi salute"
Average person: "that's a nazi salute"
The Media: "Elon Musk makes odd gesture throwing his heart to the crowd."
Historians: "that's a nazi salute"
Average person: "that's a nazi salute"
The Media: "Elon Musk makes odd gesture throwing his heart to the crowd."
January 21, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Nazis: "that's a nazi salute"
Historians: "that's a nazi salute"
Average person: "that's a nazi salute"
The Media: "Elon Musk makes odd gesture throwing his heart to the crowd."
Historians: "that's a nazi salute"
Average person: "that's a nazi salute"
The Media: "Elon Musk makes odd gesture throwing his heart to the crowd."
Reposted by Hamburger helpless
hey man it's me, some dude who doesn't follow you. i saw your post and im pretty sure i recognized some of the words in it, would you like to spend the next two hours arguing with me about some stuff i made up
July 26, 2023 at 7:58 PM
hey man it's me, some dude who doesn't follow you. i saw your post and im pretty sure i recognized some of the words in it, would you like to spend the next two hours arguing with me about some stuff i made up
No light, no tunnel.
January 20, 2025 at 3:14 PM
No light, no tunnel.
SLEEP LIKE NO ONES WATCHING
January 19, 2025 at 2:15 PM
SLEEP LIKE NO ONES WATCHING