Reposted by Peentis
I would have more patience if it didn’t take so long.
May 23, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I would have more patience if it didn’t take so long.
Reposted by Peentis
If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, rinse it off before taking it. Follow me for more health tips.
May 21, 2025 at 9:19 PM
If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, rinse it off before taking it. Follow me for more health tips.
Reposted by Peentis
what's great about staring at a wall is that if you forget what you're doing, you're still doing it
May 15, 2025 at 4:43 PM
what's great about staring at a wall is that if you forget what you're doing, you're still doing it
Reposted by Peentis
“I asked chatGPT-“ ok, and I asked Tinsel, and she said you’re an uninspired, vapid dork who needs a computer to think for them.
May 10, 2025 at 2:17 AM
“I asked chatGPT-“ ok, and I asked Tinsel, and she said you’re an uninspired, vapid dork who needs a computer to think for them.
Reposted by Peentis
A line of frozen burritos called “Brrrritos”
April 8, 2025 at 9:17 PM
A line of frozen burritos called “Brrrritos”
Reposted by Peentis
EXPLORER 1: what should we name this new land we found
EXPLORER 2: how bout Newfoundland
EXPLORER 1: damn that’s fucken good
EXPLORER 2: how bout Newfoundland
EXPLORER 1: damn that’s fucken good
March 25, 2025 at 1:02 PM
EXPLORER 1: what should we name this new land we found
EXPLORER 2: how bout Newfoundland
EXPLORER 1: damn that’s fucken good
EXPLORER 2: how bout Newfoundland
EXPLORER 1: damn that’s fucken good
Reposted by Peentis
Apparently “happy for you or sorry that happened” is not the appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement
March 25, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Apparently “happy for you or sorry that happened” is not the appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement
Reposted by Peentis
If Rainforest Cafe ever goes bankrupt, they should blame deforestation.
March 25, 2025 at 8:50 PM
If Rainforest Cafe ever goes bankrupt, they should blame deforestation.
Reposted by Peentis
Yeah I’m living paycheck to paycheck
March 19, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Yeah I’m living paycheck to paycheck
Reposted by Peentis
My stomach was hurting, but I took a giant MAGA and I feel so much better now.
March 6, 2025 at 4:25 AM
My stomach was hurting, but I took a giant MAGA and I feel so much better now.
Reposted by Peentis
I think it's important to remember, with everything extremely fucked up and dumb right now, that at the root of it, fuck fuck fucking fucking fuck.
March 4, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I think it's important to remember, with everything extremely fucked up and dumb right now, that at the root of it, fuck fuck fucking fucking fuck.
Reposted by Peentis
The person who came up with the spelling of phlegm just didn’t give a fuck about anything.
February 28, 2025 at 5:16 PM
The person who came up with the spelling of phlegm just didn’t give a fuck about anything.
Reposted by Peentis
All federal employees must respond to an email from a Nigerian prince with their bank account number or risk being terminated.
March 1, 2025 at 3:09 AM
All federal employees must respond to an email from a Nigerian prince with their bank account number or risk being terminated.
Reposted by Peentis
Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.
February 17, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.
Reposted by Peentis
As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.
February 16, 2025 at 11:51 AM
As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.
Reposted by Peentis
Oh to be a little lettuce being periodically misted at the grocery store
February 8, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Oh to be a little lettuce being periodically misted at the grocery store
Reposted by Peentis
[Doctor, handing me back my mixtape] I meant a urine sample.
February 6, 2025 at 1:21 PM
[Doctor, handing me back my mixtape] I meant a urine sample.
Reposted by Peentis
brown gravy at night, potato's delight
white gravy in the morning, fresh biscuits take warning
white gravy in the morning, fresh biscuits take warning
February 2, 2025 at 4:09 AM
brown gravy at night, potato's delight
white gravy in the morning, fresh biscuits take warning
white gravy in the morning, fresh biscuits take warning
Reposted by Peentis
“I’m going to have to cancel”
YES!!!!!!!!
<composes self>
“Oh no, that’s a shame”
YES!!!!!!!!
<composes self>
“Oh no, that’s a shame”
February 2, 2025 at 10:55 AM
“I’m going to have to cancel”
YES!!!!!!!!
<composes self>
“Oh no, that’s a shame”
YES!!!!!!!!
<composes self>
“Oh no, that’s a shame”
Reposted by Peentis
Reposted by Peentis
White people DEI was when there was all the sudden always aioli coming as the default condiment with my french fries instead of ketchup
January 30, 2025 at 5:27 PM
White people DEI was when there was all the sudden always aioli coming as the default condiment with my french fries instead of ketchup