Reposted
I’m hearing the list of previous holders of the FIFA peace prize include such luminaries as
December 5, 2025 at 5:53 PM
I’m hearing the list of previous holders of the FIFA peace prize include such luminaries as
Reposted
![[Scene is a MEDIEVAL PLAGUE PIT with all the bodies inside it. On the edge of it is a young peasant woman, in a sack cloth dress, covered in boils. She is lounging glamorously next to the pit. Her boyfriend is standing a few feet away, photographing her with an anachronistic mobile phone]
GIRL:
OK so I'll sit here...
With my hair like this…
Rubbing my cyst with the corpse's hand.
[She produces a whithered severed hand and starts rubbing it on her face.]
[We are treated to a revolting close up of her rubbing the severed hand on her disgusting massive cyst.]
[Her boyfriend takes a photo of her.]
SNAP
GIRL:
OK, now write this:
"Hanging out at the burial pit, rubbing my sebaceous cyst with a severed corpse hand from
#BurtsGraverobbers…”
And then: #selfcare, #metime, #BurtsGraverobbers…
... nails emoji, heart emoji, cyst emoji.
BOYFRIEND:
Um...
Should we really be promoting this?
I mean… does rubbing a corpse's hand on a cyst actually work?
GIRL:
Look, Burt's done research, OK?
And he's paying us four groats.
BOYFRIEND:
Hmm.
[Boyfriend dutifully taps out the post on his phone]
TAP TAP TAP
BOYFRIEND:
Cyst emoji?
GIRL:
Just use a fried egg.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifyvq2vzehtutrj7ild2dd7kkljmkbcby7yompicekbbpa2bqpluq@jpeg)
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narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
November 25, 2025 at 2:11 AM
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
Went to AFC Wimbledon today. Wigan brought a kid on in the 77th minute for his league debut. He scored a great free kick equaliser... also in the 77th minute(!) He later scored the winner. I suppose I should tell you his name, given he's clearly the next big thing. Harrison Bettoni.
November 22, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Went to AFC Wimbledon today. Wigan brought a kid on in the 77th minute for his league debut. He scored a great free kick equaliser... also in the 77th minute(!) He later scored the winner. I suppose I should tell you his name, given he's clearly the next big thing. Harrison Bettoni.
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Fed up with the John Lewis's website talking to me as if I'm a naughty dog.
November 14, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Fed up with the John Lewis's website talking to me as if I'm a naughty dog.
Surreal London moment: a kingfisher flying alongside my Lizzie line train on the approach to Ilford. Deeply strange to see that flash of brillaint blue and orange with a warehouse as the backdrop. That's me happy for the day.
November 1, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Surreal London moment: a kingfisher flying alongside my Lizzie line train on the approach to Ilford. Deeply strange to see that flash of brillaint blue and orange with a warehouse as the backdrop. That's me happy for the day.
I haven't seen The Lion King. People get very upset.
Inspired by a post I just saw in which someone admitted they hadn’t seen a single episode of Friends nor the film Love Actually… what cultural hole do you have that’s a bit weird for your generation?
I’ll go first: I haven’t seen Dirty Dancing.
I’ll go first: I haven’t seen Dirty Dancing.
October 5, 2025 at 1:31 PM
I haven't seen The Lion King. People get very upset.
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Kids will die because of this. There’s no other way to say it. Children will die, as a result of a deliberate policy choice being taken against all evidence and reason.
JUST IN: Vaccine advisers to the CDC have voted to recommended against using the combined measles, mumps, rubella and chickenpox vaccine for children under 4. https://cnn.it/3K73pNn
September 19, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Kids will die because of this. There’s no other way to say it. Children will die, as a result of a deliberate policy choice being taken against all evidence and reason.
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There is a non-zero number of flag protesters currently being rinsed on tourist drives around the west end by South Asian migrant pedicab drivers.
As much as the pedicabs are a menace and should be banned, there is a pleasing irony to this situation.
As much as the pedicabs are a menace and should be banned, there is a pleasing irony to this situation.
September 13, 2025 at 8:49 PM
There is a non-zero number of flag protesters currently being rinsed on tourist drives around the west end by South Asian migrant pedicab drivers.
As much as the pedicabs are a menace and should be banned, there is a pleasing irony to this situation.
As much as the pedicabs are a menace and should be banned, there is a pleasing irony to this situation.
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Reposted
Gary Lineker on winning the National TV Award,
"It's not lost on me why I might have won this award"
"Aside from presenting Match of the Day.."
"Also, I think it demonstrates that perhaps it's ok sometimes to use our platform to speak up on behalf of those who have no voice"
"It's not lost on me why I might have won this award"
"Aside from presenting Match of the Day.."
"Also, I think it demonstrates that perhaps it's ok sometimes to use our platform to speak up on behalf of those who have no voice"
September 10, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Gary Lineker on winning the National TV Award,
"It's not lost on me why I might have won this award"
"Aside from presenting Match of the Day.."
"Also, I think it demonstrates that perhaps it's ok sometimes to use our platform to speak up on behalf of those who have no voice"
"It's not lost on me why I might have won this award"
"Aside from presenting Match of the Day.."
"Also, I think it demonstrates that perhaps it's ok sometimes to use our platform to speak up on behalf of those who have no voice"
Reposted
any excuse to repost the greatest Tetris story ever, when a reporter went to cover early e-gaming championships and discovered that his wife was unknowingly *the world's greatest Tetris player* by a huge margin
archive.boston.com/news/globe/m...
archive.boston.com/news/globe/m...
May 4, 2025 at 4:35 AM
any excuse to repost the greatest Tetris story ever, when a reporter went to cover early e-gaming championships and discovered that his wife was unknowingly *the world's greatest Tetris player* by a huge margin
archive.boston.com/news/globe/m...
archive.boston.com/news/globe/m...
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I love the fact that Robert Forster from The Go-Betweens wrote a book called The 10 Rules of Rock and Roll, but they only took up half a page. (The rest of the book is ace; very few people write about music so well.)
I could see this as a Dave Hepworth list too.
I could see this as a Dave Hepworth list too.
September 2, 2025 at 7:10 AM
I love the fact that Robert Forster from The Go-Betweens wrote a book called The 10 Rules of Rock and Roll, but they only took up half a page. (The rest of the book is ace; very few people write about music so well.)
I could see this as a Dave Hepworth list too.
I could see this as a Dave Hepworth list too.
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Part of my unified theory of football is that sudden death penalties should be all 11 players, then managers, then mascots
August 27, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Part of my unified theory of football is that sudden death penalties should be all 11 players, then managers, then mascots
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Can only say Noni Madueke in the style REM’s Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite
August 17, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Can only say Noni Madueke in the style REM’s Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite
Scratching my head at the fact that this season will be the first time Barnet and Tranmere have ever played each other. Bizarre.
August 11, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Scratching my head at the fact that this season will be the first time Barnet and Tranmere have ever played each other. Bizarre.
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Aw, look! A wedding.
August 7, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Aw, look! A wedding.
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Most of it was written in anger in the post-relegation misery but had to update when we appointed the new manager so it’s a real mix of feeling
August 7, 2025 at 10:12 AM
Most of it was written in anger in the post-relegation misery but had to update when we appointed the new manager so it’s a real mix of feeling
I'm reading @fourfourtwo.com's season preview and the Cardiff entry really takes a turn at the end.
August 7, 2025 at 8:22 AM
I'm reading @fourfourtwo.com's season preview and the Cardiff entry really takes a turn at the end.
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Happy birthday to Paul Cook. Here’s what his mum had to say about his time in the Sex Pistols
July 20, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Happy birthday to Paul Cook. Here’s what his mum had to say about his time in the Sex Pistols
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ONAN THE SEALASAURUS!!!!
I had a stab at this. There were several highlights.
July 9, 2025 at 12:10 PM
ONAN THE SEALASAURUS!!!!
I had a stab at this. There were several highlights.
July 9, 2025 at 11:33 AM
I had a stab at this. There were several highlights.
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Rest in peace, Diogo Jota and Andre Silva.
A piece on a tragic passing of a fabulous footballer and why sporting deaths hurt us so much.
inews.co.uk/sport/footba...
A piece on a tragic passing of a fabulous footballer and why sporting deaths hurt us so much.
inews.co.uk/sport/footba...
Diogo Jota's death has made me question fame, football and mortality
Losing a footballer in the prime of their career hurts so much because we tend to see sporting heroes as immortal on some level
inews.co.uk
July 3, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Rest in peace, Diogo Jota and Andre Silva.
A piece on a tragic passing of a fabulous footballer and why sporting deaths hurt us so much.
inews.co.uk/sport/footba...
A piece on a tragic passing of a fabulous footballer and why sporting deaths hurt us so much.
inews.co.uk/sport/footba...