Mela Shea
@melashea.bsky.social
Left footed | Married a Sock | Moon sign is Capri-Sun
Reposted by Mela Shea
Thanks for putting Comedian after your name so I know.
February 3, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Thanks for putting Comedian after your name so I know.
Reposted by Mela Shea
George Washington Carver (about to invent peanut butter): these little guys are tasty, I wish I could stick them to the roof of my mouth
December 22, 2024 at 9:53 PM
George Washington Carver (about to invent peanut butter): these little guys are tasty, I wish I could stick them to the roof of my mouth
Reposted by Mela Shea
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
December 6, 2024 at 6:12 PM
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
Reposted by Mela Shea
When I lie down my brain erases like an etch a sketch and I am free
December 1, 2024 at 6:46 PM
When I lie down my brain erases like an etch a sketch and I am free
Reposted by Mela Shea
Contributing to the chaos this Black Friday by telling customers that all of our products are 60% on
December 1, 2024 at 8:49 PM
Contributing to the chaos this Black Friday by telling customers that all of our products are 60% on
Reposted by Mela Shea
I would throw myself under a duvet for you.
December 2, 2024 at 12:25 AM
I would throw myself under a duvet for you.
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I would suffer multiple internal server errors for you.
November 21, 2024 at 6:32 PM
I would suffer multiple internal server errors for you.
Reposted by Mela Shea
It’s not the voices in my head that tell me to kill. It’s my neighbor’s wind chimes.
November 19, 2024 at 10:46 PM
It’s not the voices in my head that tell me to kill. It’s my neighbor’s wind chimes.
Reposted by Mela Shea
The 😂 emoji is for the left. The 🤣 emoji is for the right. I dont make the rules
November 20, 2024 at 12:42 AM
The 😂 emoji is for the left. The 🤣 emoji is for the right. I dont make the rules
Reposted by Mela Shea
If you ever feel down about a break up, just remember that in the 90s Jewel was dumped because she left her towels on the floor
November 19, 2024 at 3:42 AM
If you ever feel down about a break up, just remember that in the 90s Jewel was dumped because she left her towels on the floor
Reposted by Mela Shea
Alexa, go lick Satan’s nutsack.
November 19, 2024 at 5:49 AM
Alexa, go lick Satan’s nutsack.
Reposted by Mela Shea
Them: if you could be any animal wha-
Me: rotisserie chicken
Me: rotisserie chicken
September 21, 2024 at 4:44 PM
Them: if you could be any animal wha-
Me: rotisserie chicken
Me: rotisserie chicken
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Moist people can overlook the occasional typo.
November 16, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Moist people can overlook the occasional typo.
Reposted by Mela Shea
The timeline of microwave popcorn:
< 1 minute: No popcorn
1-2:30: 4 pieces of perfectly popped popcorn
2:31-2:35: You did it. This is perfect. Good jo-
> 2:36: The ashes of what once could have been great, symbolizing your life’s wasted potential
< 1 minute: No popcorn
1-2:30: 4 pieces of perfectly popped popcorn
2:31-2:35: You did it. This is perfect. Good jo-
> 2:36: The ashes of what once could have been great, symbolizing your life’s wasted potential
November 15, 2024 at 1:08 PM
The timeline of microwave popcorn:
< 1 minute: No popcorn
1-2:30: 4 pieces of perfectly popped popcorn
2:31-2:35: You did it. This is perfect. Good jo-
> 2:36: The ashes of what once could have been great, symbolizing your life’s wasted potential
< 1 minute: No popcorn
1-2:30: 4 pieces of perfectly popped popcorn
2:31-2:35: You did it. This is perfect. Good jo-
> 2:36: The ashes of what once could have been great, symbolizing your life’s wasted potential
Reposted by Mela Shea
THERAPIST: tell me more about the time in your life when you were breeding baby goats
ME: I was just kidding lmao
THERAPIST: *screams*
ME: I was just kidding lmao
THERAPIST: *screams*
November 15, 2024 at 2:53 PM
THERAPIST: tell me more about the time in your life when you were breeding baby goats
ME: I was just kidding lmao
THERAPIST: *screams*
ME: I was just kidding lmao
THERAPIST: *screams*
Reposted by Mela Shea
I don't delete my bad posts because why should I suffer alone.
November 15, 2024 at 4:22 PM
I don't delete my bad posts because why should I suffer alone.
What are we calling blue sky posts? Bleets? Skeets?
November 15, 2024 at 9:36 PM
What are we calling blue sky posts? Bleets? Skeets?