Jort
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jortolicious.bsky.social
Jort
@jortolicious.bsky.social
I'm a Jort
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January 28, 2026 at 7:30 PM
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Shoutout to the placement of these two sentences directly next to each other on the Wikipedia article for the Melania documentary
January 28, 2026 at 3:05 PM
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January 26, 2026 at 7:08 PM
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January 24, 2026 at 7:36 PM
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“Everyone should be allowed to carry a gun for their safety but the government can murder you in the street if you have a gun” is an incredible endpoint for the conservative moment
January 24, 2026 at 5:48 PM
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Stormtroopers Who Killed Tatooine Farmers Feared for Their Lives

hard-drive.net/stormtrooper...
Stormtroopers Who Killed Tatooine Farmers Feared for Their Lives - Hard Drive
TATOOINE — Amidst galactic unrest, a group of stormtroopers who burned farmers Owen and Beru Lars alive on the desert planet Tatooine... Continue reading this gem
hard-drive.net
January 16, 2026 at 2:33 PM
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It's annoying that we already had so many existing problems to solve before these assholes created a bunch of new ones for no reason
January 23, 2026 at 3:06 AM
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legends za
January 22, 2026 at 3:03 AM
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Can we have healthcare?

“That sounds expensive, I’m going to spend a quarter billion dollars to reopen a prison that was considered unsustainable 62 years ago when it closed.”
US President Donald Trump says he has directed officials to rebuild and reopen Alcatraz prison, the notorious federal jail based on a small island in California that closed six decades ago ➡️ u.afp.com/Sq45
May 5, 2025 at 10:15 AM
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Amazing
A Japanese speedrunner beat The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild – Nintendo Switch 2 Edition at the Switch 2 Experience in Tokyo

They finished the game in just 15 minutes (the demo is restricted to 20 minutes)

(Source: 最強ゼルダGamesいかぼうず YouTube)
April 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
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he’s right and he’s right to say it
April 24, 2025 at 5:39 PM
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What if Elon is the first autistic person RFK has ever actually met and that’s why he assumes we don’t pay taxes or go on dates
April 18, 2025 at 8:39 PM
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This is driving me crazy too. Not long ago 10% universal tariffs were considered the worst-case scenario, something even Trump wasn’t crazy enough to impose. Now have those PLUS 125% tariffs on China. Together, these raise raise inflation by about as much as original “Liberation Day” tariffs did!
why is *every* newspaper/programme running with the headline "tariffs are paused" when they haven't been.

What's happened is that every country (except China) gets a flat rate of 10% for 90 days.
April 10, 2025 at 11:41 AM
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Biggest commitment to a 3 second joke I've ever seen
April 9, 2025 at 6:33 AM
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Tariffs making your game consoles too expensive? Thankfully this problem was solved years ago. Simply set up a factory to manufacture the Sega Master System in your country
April 4, 2025 at 4:27 PM
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You can totally see how this mf bankrupted a casino.
April 3, 2025 at 1:45 AM
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Crashing out like the stock market this morning.
April 3, 2025 at 3:13 PM
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My only hot take on Switch 2 pricing is that we should all be paid more
April 2, 2025 at 3:57 PM
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they better have new animal crossing out in time for martial law
March 21, 2025 at 6:52 PM
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(seeing FBI agents sprinting in my direction as I'm being stabbed) Oh thank god I'm--(they run past me and tackle a guy who's flipping off a tesla)
March 19, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Lego Pokemon? Y'all I unfortunately will have to declare bankruptcy in 2026
March 18, 2025 at 2:46 PM
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being the richest person in the world and the president of the united states can’t even stop this guy from continuing to crash out
March 17, 2025 at 3:09 PM