Jonathan Opossum
@jonathanopossum.bsky.social
Stop climate change, give poor people money, let everyone live in whatever country they want to.
But mostly I just like trivia, puns and cute animals.
But mostly I just like trivia, puns and cute animals.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
“We are all, how you say, trying to find zee guy who did zis.”
This photo accompanying a news story about the heist at the Louvre is perfection.
October 20, 2025 at 1:55 AM
“We are all, how you say, trying to find zee guy who did zis.”
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
Oct. 13, 1925: A spaghetti eating contest in San Francisco is marked by a clash of styles, as Edmond Imperato (left) uses the “gravity method” of letting the pasta drop into his mouth while John Valentini twirls traditional forkfuls. Valentini wins.
October 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Oct. 13, 1925: A spaghetti eating contest in San Francisco is marked by a clash of styles, as Edmond Imperato (left) uses the “gravity method” of letting the pasta drop into his mouth while John Valentini twirls traditional forkfuls. Valentini wins.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
Tomorrow is Columbo's Day, so remember to eat the traditional chili dogs, wear your best disheveled raincoat, and above all, don't let any rich assholes get away with anything
October 13, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Tomorrow is Columbo's Day, so remember to eat the traditional chili dogs, wear your best disheveled raincoat, and above all, don't let any rich assholes get away with anything
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war
October 11, 2025 at 12:32 AM
cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
October 10, 2025 at 7:36 PM
My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again
September 22, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
"[W]hat’s so striking about the Kimmel case is how swiftly Nexstar (and ABC) rolled over. They didn’t even try to put up a fight to defend their own ability to control what goes on their airwaves."
Let’s be clear about what happened to Jimmy Kimmel
Trump’s most brazen attack on free speech yet.
www.vox.com
September 18, 2025 at 5:50 PM
"[W]hat’s so striking about the Kimmel case is how swiftly Nexstar (and ABC) rolled over. They didn’t even try to put up a fight to defend their own ability to control what goes on their airwaves."
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
Sorry I was late to your wedding, my flight was canceled because my pilot posted a Charlie Kirk quote verbatim in the comments of an Instagram Reel.
Hard to think of a more on-the-nose encapsulation of how far the online speech wars have swung in the year of our lord 2025 than major U.S. corporations racing to fire people whose tweets offended Milo Yiannopoulos
September 17, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Sorry I was late to your wedding, my flight was canceled because my pilot posted a Charlie Kirk quote verbatim in the comments of an Instagram Reel.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
These Harry Potter knockoffs are getting insane
September 17, 2025 at 5:12 PM
These Harry Potter knockoffs are getting insane
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
US President back-pedalling furiously after his administration treated some innocent hard-working Koreans like they were innocent hard-working Latinos.
September 15, 2025 at 6:42 AM
US President back-pedalling furiously after his administration treated some innocent hard-working Koreans like they were innocent hard-working Latinos.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
seems impossible to make a potato threatening but here we are
July 27, 2024 at 9:37 PM
seems impossible to make a potato threatening but here we are
Huh they don't seem to have fallen for it
September 12, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Huh they don't seem to have fallen for it
Last night I had a dream I was at a casual house party and the dude sitting next to me on the couch was Andrew Lloyd Webber. And I turned to him and said "Hey, Andy--" and he gave me the biggest stink-eye so I lowered my voice and said "Sorry, I mean Sir Lloyd Webber" and he smiled and nodded.
September 12, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Last night I had a dream I was at a casual house party and the dude sitting next to me on the couch was Andrew Lloyd Webber. And I turned to him and said "Hey, Andy--" and he gave me the biggest stink-eye so I lowered my voice and said "Sorry, I mean Sir Lloyd Webber" and he smiled and nodded.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
Happy weekend!
From c. 3,600 years ago, here’s an ancient Egyptian bead in the form of a curled-up hedgehog! 🦔💙
Blue faience, c. 1985 -1650 BC.
National Museum of Scotland www.nms.ac.uk/search-our-c...
📷 by me
#Archaeology
From c. 3,600 years ago, here’s an ancient Egyptian bead in the form of a curled-up hedgehog! 🦔💙
Blue faience, c. 1985 -1650 BC.
National Museum of Scotland www.nms.ac.uk/search-our-c...
📷 by me
#Archaeology
August 30, 2025 at 8:03 AM
Happy weekend!
From c. 3,600 years ago, here’s an ancient Egyptian bead in the form of a curled-up hedgehog! 🦔💙
Blue faience, c. 1985 -1650 BC.
National Museum of Scotland www.nms.ac.uk/search-our-c...
📷 by me
#Archaeology
From c. 3,600 years ago, here’s an ancient Egyptian bead in the form of a curled-up hedgehog! 🦔💙
Blue faience, c. 1985 -1650 BC.
National Museum of Scotland www.nms.ac.uk/search-our-c...
📷 by me
#Archaeology
PSA: If you need to reheat a slice of pizza, heat a frying pan in the stove on medium, fry the slice for ~5 minutes to crisp the crust, then pour a little bit of water into the pan and immediately cover to steam the cheese for ~3 minutes. Absent an air fryer, this is the best way to reheat pizza.
August 25, 2025 at 7:24 PM
PSA: If you need to reheat a slice of pizza, heat a frying pan in the stove on medium, fry the slice for ~5 minutes to crisp the crust, then pour a little bit of water into the pan and immediately cover to steam the cheese for ~3 minutes. Absent an air fryer, this is the best way to reheat pizza.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
This afternoon, after mowing the lawn, it finally happened. My Summer 2025 white whale. My eminently attainable, mild quest for the holy grail.
I give you: Frog. On a lilypad.
I give you: Frog. On a lilypad.
August 23, 2025 at 9:23 PM
This afternoon, after mowing the lawn, it finally happened. My Summer 2025 white whale. My eminently attainable, mild quest for the holy grail.
I give you: Frog. On a lilypad.
I give you: Frog. On a lilypad.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
At a gallery where an artist has one of her paintings displayed for the first time…
ART CRITIC: Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
ARTIST: Sure
ART CRITIC: It’s pretty much worthless
ARTIST: That’s okay, you can tell me anyway
ART CRITIC: Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
ARTIST: Sure
ART CRITIC: It’s pretty much worthless
ARTIST: That’s okay, you can tell me anyway
August 11, 2025 at 3:01 PM
At a gallery where an artist has one of her paintings displayed for the first time…
ART CRITIC: Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
ARTIST: Sure
ART CRITIC: It’s pretty much worthless
ARTIST: That’s okay, you can tell me anyway
ART CRITIC: Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
ARTIST: Sure
ART CRITIC: It’s pretty much worthless
ARTIST: That’s okay, you can tell me anyway
"And what if she had seen those glories fade,
Those titles vanish, and that strength decay;
Yet shall some tribute of regret be paid
When her long life hath reached its final day:
Men are we, and must grieve when even the Shade
Of that which once was great, is passed away."
Those titles vanish, and that strength decay;
Yet shall some tribute of regret be paid
When her long life hath reached its final day:
Men are we, and must grieve when even the Shade
Of that which once was great, is passed away."
Goodbye to dial-up: AOL closes a chapter in web history - Salon.com
AOL’s dial-up shutdown silences the screech and “You’ve got mail” greeting that defined the dawn of internet life
www.salon.com
August 11, 2025 at 2:18 AM
"And what if she had seen those glories fade,
Those titles vanish, and that strength decay;
Yet shall some tribute of regret be paid
When her long life hath reached its final day:
Men are we, and must grieve when even the Shade
Of that which once was great, is passed away."
Those titles vanish, and that strength decay;
Yet shall some tribute of regret be paid
When her long life hath reached its final day:
Men are we, and must grieve when even the Shade
Of that which once was great, is passed away."
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
21 years ago today the Dave Matthews Band emptied their tour bus's septic tank into the Chicago River, soaking 80 people taking a boat ride with fecal matter. Dave Matthews Band dumping shit on a boat full of tourists can low legally drink in every US state.
August 8, 2025 at 5:41 PM
21 years ago today the Dave Matthews Band emptied their tour bus's septic tank into the Chicago River, soaking 80 people taking a boat ride with fecal matter. Dave Matthews Band dumping shit on a boat full of tourists can low legally drink in every US state.
Tell me you grew up in New Jefst without telling me you grew up in New Jefst.
My goto is to ask LLMs how many states have R in their name. They always fail. GPT 5 included Indiana, Illinois, and Texas in its list. It then asked me if I wanted an alphabetical highlighted map. Sure, why not.
August 8, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Tell me you grew up in New Jefst without telling me you grew up in New Jefst.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
live action catbus looking pretty sweet
August 1, 2025 at 9:05 PM
live action catbus looking pretty sweet
Voter behavior makes more sense when you assume people just aren't thinking through things. In 2024, voters were given the choice between a ham sandwich and being repeatedly stabbed, and since they had been looking at the ham sandwich for 4 years and found it unappetizing they chose the alternative.
August 1, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Voter behavior makes more sense when you assume people just aren't thinking through things. In 2024, voters were given the choice between a ham sandwich and being repeatedly stabbed, and since they had been looking at the ham sandwich for 4 years and found it unappetizing they chose the alternative.
Reposted by Jonathan Opossum
getting into this template
May 16, 2023 at 2:25 PM
getting into this template