jimandtonics
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jermster.bsky.social
jimandtonics
@jermster.bsky.social
Chicago
Just cause you feel it doesn’t mean it’s there
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I spoke to a talented junior scientist who just got a good faculty job offer in the US and they told me “well I wouldn’t move to 1930s Germany either” so that’s how that’s going
January 28, 2025 at 11:57 AM
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i bumped into a mannequin at target and said "oh sorry girl" and a lady standing near me scoffed. first of all it's called manners
January 22, 2025 at 6:15 PM
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"this is a millennial retirement home" doesn't have to have derogatory connotations. we could start holding LAN parties or bar trivia nights
January 19, 2025 at 4:22 PM
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SCROOGE (Walton Goggins) (VO): It had been seven years Old Marley had been dead. Unless this is known, nothing fantastic can be understood

MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper
December 16, 2024 at 10:20 PM
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i've still got no comparisons for this story to anything else in american politics in my lifetime
Luigi Mangione’s fellow prisoners yelled “Luigi’s conditions suck” and “Free Luigi” from their cells in Pennsylvania during an interview: www.newsnationnow.com/banfield/lui...
December 12, 2024 at 12:54 PM
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[at a racetrack]

DATE: Which horse are you betting on?

ME: I don't have a horse in this race

DATE: That's fair

ANNOUNCER: [over speakers] Wow, folks, it looks like a large raccoon has just rolled onto the track
December 9, 2024 at 7:39 PM
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December 7, 2024 at 1:16 PM
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All I want for Christmas is a domesticated raccoon that wants to eat lasagna with me & go on quirky adventures. It would also be nice if the raccoon could do magic but I understand that is asking a lot and therefore, it is not required.
December 5, 2024 at 10:11 PM
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History has proven me correct
A potential partner must have the correct level of enthusiasm about the Muppets. Too little and their hearts are devoid of joy. Too much and they are into an extreme kink so disgusting only a theatre kid could imagine it.
December 3, 2024 at 3:13 PM
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good morning everyone welcome back to another get your shit together sunday. you have until 3PM to get all of your shit together or you will fall so hopelessly far behind that you can never recover
November 24, 2024 at 12:28 PM
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Contrary to popular belief, there are only four kinds of bats.
November 21, 2024 at 2:23 PM
If I can still turn on the rizz before I even get out of bed, it might not be over, after all
November 22, 2024 at 4:37 PM
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If you mean extremely sleepy looking, then hell yeah I have bedroom eyes.
November 22, 2024 at 1:00 PM
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[Elmo voice]

Elmo love concept complexity juxtaposed against incongruous context!
November 21, 2024 at 5:26 AM
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I feel like this was the greatest celebrity post of all time because you initially want to make fun of it because we’re all irony poisoned jerks but the sheer scale of human compassion overwhelms it and you end up going yes Vincent I also want to help a pig see the stars for the first time
November 21, 2024 at 4:15 AM
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I don’t think it will all fit in there.
November 20, 2024 at 2:10 PM
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im on every app. im in your city, in your neighborhood. the sales associate who handed you a large when you asked for a medium? that was me. i am now behind you.
November 20, 2024 at 7:00 AM
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Oh HEY, it’s so lovely to— Ah. You’re waving to the person behind me.
November 17, 2024 at 3:05 PM
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Told a fairly offline friend there is a lot of shitposting on this app and they asked where they can find the good posts. Like, you fool, you clown, you bonehead. The shitposts are the good posts.
June 23, 2023 at 2:39 PM
Me any time a Republican tries to argue with me for the rest of my life to be honest
November 15, 2024 at 3:01 AM
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“It’s all about self-respect,” I say to myself. “You stupid bitch.”
September 6, 2023 at 1:25 PM
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If I were an orthopedic surgeon, I would totally set up shop at the end of a Home Depot aisle
September 6, 2023 at 4:58 PM
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Bluesky review:

Con: without an algorithm, if something happens while you're offline, you'll probably miss it. Things don't get shared for as long; they have their moment, then vanish.

Pro: without an algorithm, if something happens while you're offline, you'll probably miss it. Things don't get-
August 28, 2023 at 9:52 PM