Hassan
@itmehassan.bsky.social
Reposted by Hassan
guy who shoved me at the bar last night didn't know he was pushing a trained speed walker but he sure as hell found out
December 22, 2024 at 6:52 PM
guy who shoved me at the bar last night didn't know he was pushing a trained speed walker but he sure as hell found out
Reposted by Hassan
me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
I have to take an annual fire safety training for work, and I am reminded that I asked some of the folks who manage these things how they evacuate the NICU and apparently they have vests you can load up with babies
December 21, 2024 at 1:18 PM
me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]
Reposted by Hassan
The world's richest man managed to take $190 million away from a *child cancer research center* with his posts yesterday. Funding now stripped in the new bill.
December 19, 2024 at 10:22 PM
The world's richest man managed to take $190 million away from a *child cancer research center* with his posts yesterday. Funding now stripped in the new bill.
Reposted by Hassan
God, please let me be on this jury. I was born be Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men, I have prepared for this my entire life.
The Claims Adjuster is only 26 years old? He belongs at the club!!!
December 9, 2024 at 7:29 PM
God, please let me be on this jury. I was born be Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men, I have prepared for this my entire life.
Reposted by Hassan
The hawk tuah girl launched a scam meme coin. A healthcare CEO was gunned down in the street. *You wake up in a cold sweat* It was all real but you got food poisoning from eating Boar's Head
December 5, 2024 at 1:20 PM
The hawk tuah girl launched a scam meme coin. A healthcare CEO was gunned down in the street. *You wake up in a cold sweat* It was all real but you got food poisoning from eating Boar's Head
Reposted by Hassan
United Healthcare uses an AI model with a 90% error rate to deny people healthcare coverage.
BREAKING: Brian Thompson, CEO of United Healthcare, was shot and killed outside a Manhattan hotel in an apparent targeted attack, law enforcement official says
United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson fatally shot in midtown Manhattan, official says | CNN
The CEO of UnitedHealthcare was shot and killed in midtown Manhattan on Wednesday morning, a law enforcement official tells CNN.
www.cnn.com
December 4, 2024 at 7:43 PM
United Healthcare uses an AI model with a 90% error rate to deny people healthcare coverage.
Reposted by Hassan
ME: am I based? Does my stuff slap?
VIZIER: nay sire. They say your works are mid
VIZIER: nay sire. They say your works are mid
December 4, 2024 at 3:57 PM
ME: am I based? Does my stuff slap?
VIZIER: nay sire. They say your works are mid
VIZIER: nay sire. They say your works are mid
Reposted by Hassan
Response to coups by elected leaders:
- South Korea: blocked by mass mobilization of citizens
- Brazil: coup leader indicted, barred from politics
- United States: coup leader re-elected with majorities in the legislature and a compliant Supreme Court
- South Korea: blocked by mass mobilization of citizens
- Brazil: coup leader indicted, barred from politics
- United States: coup leader re-elected with majorities in the legislature and a compliant Supreme Court
December 3, 2024 at 8:31 PM
Response to coups by elected leaders:
- South Korea: blocked by mass mobilization of citizens
- Brazil: coup leader indicted, barred from politics
- United States: coup leader re-elected with majorities in the legislature and a compliant Supreme Court
- South Korea: blocked by mass mobilization of citizens
- Brazil: coup leader indicted, barred from politics
- United States: coup leader re-elected with majorities in the legislature and a compliant Supreme Court
Reposted by Hassan
Curious about the drama in South Korea? This sheet pan gimbap with banchan will have you declaring martial law in your kitchen!
December 3, 2024 at 8:52 PM
Curious about the drama in South Korea? This sheet pan gimbap with banchan will have you declaring martial law in your kitchen!
Reposted by Hassan
(Biden after reading 'The Hundred Years' War on Palestine'): I have to pardon my son
December 2, 2024 at 4:11 AM
(Biden after reading 'The Hundred Years' War on Palestine'): I have to pardon my son
Reposted by Hassan
Reposted by Hassan
[Israel commits textbook ethnic cleansing for 14 months, blowing up farms, infrastructure, mosques, cultural institutions, all while Israeli leaders make dozens of explicitly genocidal statements, in English]
NYT: guys I think Israel may not just be doing a Hunt For Hamas
NYT: guys I think Israel may not just be doing a Hunt For Hamas
December 2, 2024 at 2:56 PM
[Israel commits textbook ethnic cleansing for 14 months, blowing up farms, infrastructure, mosques, cultural institutions, all while Israeli leaders make dozens of explicitly genocidal statements, in English]
NYT: guys I think Israel may not just be doing a Hunt For Hamas
NYT: guys I think Israel may not just be doing a Hunt For Hamas
Reposted by Hassan
we need a disney princess who is osha forklift certified
November 29, 2024 at 9:19 PM
we need a disney princess who is osha forklift certified
Reposted by Hassan
Computer, show me the Biden Doctrine in one picture
November 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
Computer, show me the Biden Doctrine in one picture
Reposted by Hassan
israel is the most immoral and evil country in the modern world
Israeli airstrikes shook Lebanon's capital, Beirut, moments after US President Biden announced that Israel and Hezbollah had agreed to a ceasefire deal.
🔴 LIVE updates: aje.io/zf26lp
🔴 LIVE updates: aje.io/zf26lp
November 26, 2024 at 9:44 PM
israel is the most immoral and evil country in the modern world
Reposted by Hassan
Choose your discover feed:
Twitter: hard r n word
Bluesky: the most heinous libslop ever created
Threads: Pharrell posting about hamburger
Twitter: hard r n word
Bluesky: the most heinous libslop ever created
Threads: Pharrell posting about hamburger
November 26, 2024 at 1:26 PM
Choose your discover feed:
Twitter: hard r n word
Bluesky: the most heinous libslop ever created
Threads: Pharrell posting about hamburger
Twitter: hard r n word
Bluesky: the most heinous libslop ever created
Threads: Pharrell posting about hamburger
Reposted by Hassan
Mexican President Sheinbaum: "70%of the illegal weapons seized from criminals in Mexico come from your country. We do not produce these weapons, nor do we consume synthetic drugs. Tragically, it is in our country that lives are lost to the violence resulting from meeting the drug demand in yours."
November 26, 2024 at 4:41 PM
Mexican President Sheinbaum: "70%of the illegal weapons seized from criminals in Mexico come from your country. We do not produce these weapons, nor do we consume synthetic drugs. Tragically, it is in our country that lives are lost to the violence resulting from meeting the drug demand in yours."
Reposted by Hassan
You know a party to a conflict is negotiating in good faith when it tries to kill as many people as possible in the hours before a ceasefire takes effect.
November 26, 2024 at 5:10 PM
You know a party to a conflict is negotiating in good faith when it tries to kill as many people as possible in the hours before a ceasefire takes effect.
Reposted by Hassan
mr beast should be hunted for sport live on peacock plus
November 25, 2024 at 12:54 AM
mr beast should be hunted for sport live on peacock plus
Reposted by Hassan
freeze frame on man running through bazaar
Jason Statham (VO): yeah. thass me. aladdin runnin frum the fuckin fuzz again
Jason Statham (VO): yeah. thass me. aladdin runnin frum the fuckin fuzz again
November 24, 2024 at 12:48 AM
freeze frame on man running through bazaar
Jason Statham (VO): yeah. thass me. aladdin runnin frum the fuckin fuzz again
Jason Statham (VO): yeah. thass me. aladdin runnin frum the fuckin fuzz again
Reposted by Hassan
A woman at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family
November 23, 2024 at 5:41 AM
A woman at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family
Reposted by Hassan
[youth pastor voice] you know who else made a starter pack?
November 21, 2024 at 1:12 AM
[youth pastor voice] you know who else made a starter pack?
Reposted by Hassan
