e.g. Alan Lastname
@illegiblehandle.bsky.social
an avid collector of dust
please leave me alone I'm having a realistic depiction of a panic attack right now
December 27, 2024 at 7:41 AM
please leave me alone I'm having a realistic depiction of a panic attack right now
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
Every dad gift ideas list is like: Scotch rocks, socks that are also a knife, bacon wallet, hammer subscription
December 16, 2024 at 12:07 AM
Every dad gift ideas list is like: Scotch rocks, socks that are also a knife, bacon wallet, hammer subscription
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
alexander graham bell slipping a piece of paper with the number 1 written on it to a babe at the bar
December 5, 2024 at 4:30 AM
alexander graham bell slipping a piece of paper with the number 1 written on it to a babe at the bar
currently dining on canned rat
December 3, 2024 at 3:49 PM
currently dining on canned rat
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ME: (meeting the devil) I love your eggs.
November 25, 2024 at 5:14 AM
ME: (meeting the devil) I love your eggs.
took a day off and immediately got mildly sick 😎
November 29, 2024 at 9:55 AM
took a day off and immediately got mildly sick 😎
literally any time I feel embarrassed I just pull up this image and I'm fixed
November 27, 2024 at 2:20 PM
literally any time I feel embarrassed I just pull up this image and I'm fixed
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my favorite red hot chili peppers lyric is “do a little dance and then i drink a little water”. because that’s just good advice
November 24, 2024 at 7:25 AM
my favorite red hot chili peppers lyric is “do a little dance and then i drink a little water”. because that’s just good advice
Kendrick dropped the second I left the fucking house are you kidding
November 22, 2024 at 5:30 PM
Kendrick dropped the second I left the fucking house are you kidding
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Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
November 22, 2024 at 5:09 AM
Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
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bread time let's have a bread
November 21, 2024 at 7:08 AM
bread time let's have a bread
mainlining anxiety medication this morning (listening to clairo on repeat)
November 21, 2024 at 9:09 AM
mainlining anxiety medication this morning (listening to clairo on repeat)
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Imagine being in medieval times, about to go into battle, when you realize you forgot your headphones
November 20, 2024 at 11:56 AM
Imagine being in medieval times, about to go into battle, when you realize you forgot your headphones
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What if I quit my job to focus on soup. Just making soup and eating it
November 20, 2024 at 8:45 PM
What if I quit my job to focus on soup. Just making soup and eating it
so I've been trying to "read between the lines" and this book I bought really isn't making any sense. it's all just blank? anybody got any tips? 📔 #book
November 20, 2024 at 8:04 AM
so I've been trying to "read between the lines" and this book I bought really isn't making any sense. it's all just blank? anybody got any tips? 📔 #book
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
ok this app seems like a pretty good replacement for Twitter but I’m confused because I haven’t seen 40 unsolicited elon tweets in a row yet, is my feed broken?
November 20, 2024 at 4:51 AM
ok this app seems like a pretty good replacement for Twitter but I’m confused because I haven’t seen 40 unsolicited elon tweets in a row yet, is my feed broken?
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
me: i worry the internet has made each of us feel like a pundit, like we must triangulate opinions to match some imagined consensus rather than behaving as one singular constituent, speaking and voting based on our own beliefs and counting on others to do the same
my son, holding an apple: bapple
my son, holding an apple: bapple
November 19, 2024 at 2:12 PM
me: i worry the internet has made each of us feel like a pundit, like we must triangulate opinions to match some imagined consensus rather than behaving as one singular constituent, speaking and voting based on our own beliefs and counting on others to do the same
my son, holding an apple: bapple
my son, holding an apple: bapple
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
top 10 simpsons moments
10. homer in space
9. bart prank calls moe
8. grandpa simpson falls asleep
7. bart and lisa
6. steamed food
5. cashier scans maggie at register
4. skateboarding bart
3. the simpsons on dvd
2. homer has a TRULY memorable moment
1. mr. burn
10. homer in space
9. bart prank calls moe
8. grandpa simpson falls asleep
7. bart and lisa
6. steamed food
5. cashier scans maggie at register
4. skateboarding bart
3. the simpsons on dvd
2. homer has a TRULY memorable moment
1. mr. burn
November 18, 2024 at 10:48 PM
top 10 simpsons moments
10. homer in space
9. bart prank calls moe
8. grandpa simpson falls asleep
7. bart and lisa
6. steamed food
5. cashier scans maggie at register
4. skateboarding bart
3. the simpsons on dvd
2. homer has a TRULY memorable moment
1. mr. burn
10. homer in space
9. bart prank calls moe
8. grandpa simpson falls asleep
7. bart and lisa
6. steamed food
5. cashier scans maggie at register
4. skateboarding bart
3. the simpsons on dvd
2. homer has a TRULY memorable moment
1. mr. burn
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
spaceship
What does it take to become an astronaut? – podcast
What does it take to become an astronaut? – podcast
It’s a dream for many children, but what does it actually take to become an astronaut? Science correspondent Hannah Devlin tells Ian Sample about her trip on a zero gravity flight with the European Space Agency (Esa). Back on solid ground she also got to…
dlvr.it
November 19, 2024 at 5:21 AM
spaceship
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
aw :( skeet skeet motherfucker. aw skeet skeet goddamn
November 18, 2024 at 6:25 PM
aw :( skeet skeet motherfucker. aw skeet skeet goddamn
if you see this, post your favourite pokémon!
November 18, 2024 at 10:45 AM
if you see this, post your favourite pokémon!
3 light beers on a Sunday evening #livingthatswaglife #beer 🍺😂
November 17, 2024 at 8:32 PM
3 light beers on a Sunday evening #livingthatswaglife #beer 🍺😂
probably need an update but woo!
November 16, 2024 at 10:10 AM
probably need an update but woo!
Reposted by e.g. Alan Lastname
Why aren't more restaurants selling a lemonade that kills you?
November 15, 2024 at 5:10 PM
Why aren't more restaurants selling a lemonade that kills you?
the tea is piping hot ☕
November 15, 2024 at 11:37 AM
the tea is piping hot ☕