Hans Weisheimer
@hweisheimer.bsky.social
Software, Security, & Syrup
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Second look at strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as basis for government?
June 29, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Second look at strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as basis for government?
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
“And so the Greeks send me this horse, we’re talking about one of the most beautiful horses you’ve ever seen. So big. So strong. Normally they keep this kind of horse for themselves but they were such big fans they said sir, please take our big wonderful horse we’ll even bring it to your house”
May 12, 2025 at 12:03 PM
“And so the Greeks send me this horse, we’re talking about one of the most beautiful horses you’ve ever seen. So big. So strong. Normally they keep this kind of horse for themselves but they were such big fans they said sir, please take our big wonderful horse we’ll even bring it to your house”
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Summarise this document into bullet points. Now tell me how to understand bullet points. Translate bullet points into simple pictograms, now describe the pictograms in words of one syllable.
Now convert the inchoate noises I make in response to the pictograms into a masters thesis, honours level.
Now convert the inchoate noises I make in response to the pictograms into a masters thesis, honours level.
May 11, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Summarise this document into bullet points. Now tell me how to understand bullet points. Translate bullet points into simple pictograms, now describe the pictograms in words of one syllable.
Now convert the inchoate noises I make in response to the pictograms into a masters thesis, honours level.
Now convert the inchoate noises I make in response to the pictograms into a masters thesis, honours level.
It should be illegal for teabags to float instead of sink. Maybe RFK can get some lead put into this stuff.
May 11, 2025 at 5:29 AM
It should be illegal for teabags to float instead of sink. Maybe RFK can get some lead put into this stuff.
The Square merchant dashboard might be the slowest thing on the Internet.
March 21, 2025 at 11:38 PM
The Square merchant dashboard might be the slowest thing on the Internet.
Moo-Deng, nooooo!
January 17, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Moo-Deng, nooooo!
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
a fun prank to pull on your neighbor is to plant a sequoia seed in their front yard and then come back 100 years later like hahaha how’d that get there
January 11, 2025 at 3:14 AM
a fun prank to pull on your neighbor is to plant a sequoia seed in their front yard and then come back 100 years later like hahaha how’d that get there
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Enjoying some fine drinks at Codemash
January 17, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Enjoying some fine drinks at Codemash
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Network teams notice and bless people who are not entirely full of shit when blaming the network, and that means understanding some of the network before you go talk to them.
January 11, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Network teams notice and bless people who are not entirely full of shit when blaming the network, and that means understanding some of the network before you go talk to them.
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
I wrote about the worst year of my life: open.substack.com/pub/lindseya...
The Banality of Burnout
In September of last year, I wrote what I am now certain is the best piece of writing I will ever produce.
open.substack.com
January 9, 2025 at 3:14 PM
I wrote about the worst year of my life: open.substack.com/pub/lindseya...
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
This writeup on a signature bypass vulnerability does a good job of calling out some design red flags, but I want to point out a major one.
If you need to extract a signature out of a message, you MUST NEVER then operate on the original message.
Many applications and protocols get this wrong.
If you need to extract a signature out of a message, you MUST NEVER then operate on the original message.
Many applications and protocols get this wrong.
A Signature Verification Bypass in Nuclei (CVE-2024-43405) | Wiz Blog
Wiz's engineering team discovered a high-severity signature verification bypass in Nuclei which could potentially lead to arbitrary code execution.
www.wiz.io
January 5, 2025 at 9:10 PM
This writeup on a signature bypass vulnerability does a good job of calling out some design red flags, but I want to point out a major one.
If you need to extract a signature out of a message, you MUST NEVER then operate on the original message.
Many applications and protocols get this wrong.
If you need to extract a signature out of a message, you MUST NEVER then operate on the original message.
Many applications and protocols get this wrong.
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
The ideal situation for Meta is that you are trapped in an endless maze of advertising impressions in search of the thing you swear you used to be able to see or do on Instagram or Facebook. Them showing you it is a problem.
They're doing what Google Search did but with people instead of websites.
They're doing what Google Search did but with people instead of websites.
January 4, 2025 at 2:02 AM
The ideal situation for Meta is that you are trapped in an endless maze of advertising impressions in search of the thing you swear you used to be able to see or do on Instagram or Facebook. Them showing you it is a problem.
They're doing what Google Search did but with people instead of websites.
They're doing what Google Search did but with people instead of websites.
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
CEO Unveils Bold New Plan To Undo Damage From Last Year’s Bold New Plan
theonion.com/ceo-unveils-...
theonion.com/ceo-unveils-...
December 31, 2024 at 8:21 PM
CEO Unveils Bold New Plan To Undo Damage From Last Year’s Bold New Plan
theonion.com/ceo-unveils-...
theonion.com/ceo-unveils-...
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
This is what you do when you are making something everybody wants
“What about people who don’t want to pay for an AI assistant to spruce up their documents and summarize emails? They are out of luck.”
www.wsj.com/tech/ai/micr...
www.wsj.com/tech/ai/micr...
December 26, 2024 at 7:07 PM
This is what you do when you are making something everybody wants
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
My only Christmas Eve tradition is heading over to the local Target with khakis and a red shirt, telling everyone I’m from Corporate and they can go home early
December 23, 2024 at 6:20 PM
My only Christmas Eve tradition is heading over to the local Target with khakis and a red shirt, telling everyone I’m from Corporate and they can go home early
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Me: *tip toeing mischievously toward MRI machine*
Health insurance company (hands on hips): Stop right there mister! Is that medically necessary?
Me (kicking dirt): No
Health insurance company (hands on hips): Stop right there mister! Is that medically necessary?
Me (kicking dirt): No
December 24, 2024 at 2:22 AM
Me: *tip toeing mischievously toward MRI machine*
Health insurance company (hands on hips): Stop right there mister! Is that medically necessary?
Me (kicking dirt): No
Health insurance company (hands on hips): Stop right there mister! Is that medically necessary?
Me (kicking dirt): No
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Any food NOT designated cage-free was raised in a cage. Enjoy your caged avocado, ghoul
December 20, 2024 at 5:01 PM
Any food NOT designated cage-free was raised in a cage. Enjoy your caged avocado, ghoul
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
todays my birthday.
it’s also the day 16 years ago I discovered that a customer for the data center I worked at had racked 3 full cabinets with over $200k of brand new server hardware on top of $80 of canned soda from our customer lounge vending machine to avoid spending $600 on mounting rails
it’s also the day 16 years ago I discovered that a customer for the data center I worked at had racked 3 full cabinets with over $200k of brand new server hardware on top of $80 of canned soda from our customer lounge vending machine to avoid spending $600 on mounting rails
December 20, 2024 at 3:31 AM
todays my birthday.
it’s also the day 16 years ago I discovered that a customer for the data center I worked at had racked 3 full cabinets with over $200k of brand new server hardware on top of $80 of canned soda from our customer lounge vending machine to avoid spending $600 on mounting rails
it’s also the day 16 years ago I discovered that a customer for the data center I worked at had racked 3 full cabinets with over $200k of brand new server hardware on top of $80 of canned soda from our customer lounge vending machine to avoid spending $600 on mounting rails
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
when i feel anxious i imagine im putting all my thoughts in a big canvas sack and then i also get in the sack and then im trapped in the sack and it has no opening any more and someone is picking it up and i can hear a river and i cant get out and i'm falling and i
December 15, 2024 at 10:12 PM
when i feel anxious i imagine im putting all my thoughts in a big canvas sack and then i also get in the sack and then im trapped in the sack and it has no opening any more and someone is picking it up and i can hear a river and i cant get out and i'm falling and i
Reposted by Hans Weisheimer
A bot that detects if ChatGPT is down and immediately sends a basic computer skills quiz to everyone in IT you have to finish fullscreen holding your drivers license
December 12, 2024 at 1:01 AM
A bot that detects if ChatGPT is down and immediately sends a basic computer skills quiz to everyone in IT you have to finish fullscreen holding your drivers license