Dave Simon
@hairyhilarity.bsky.social
Attorney by day. Sleepy by night. Comedian in between. Impressions, insightful commentary, and exuberant energy.
www.davesimoncomedy.com
www.davesimoncomedy.com
To be fair, it was tantalizingly orange-flavored
It’s still hard for me to process that we voted last November to chomp down on the cyanide capsule
May 7, 2025 at 7:38 PM
To be fair, it was tantalizingly orange-flavored
Reposted by Dave Simon
If like three years ago the pundit class and democratic politicians had held to this line we wouldn't be where we are today
"I don't know what the big deal is."
"I don't know what the big deal is."
Robert De Niro is expressing his love and support for his daughter Airyn De Niro, after she recently shared publicly for the first time that she is transgender. cnn.it/3EY1msu
May 1, 2025 at 11:15 PM
If like three years ago the pundit class and democratic politicians had held to this line we wouldn't be where we are today
"I don't know what the big deal is."
"I don't know what the big deal is."
“How much could two dolls cost, Michael? Ten dollars?”
Trump on China: "They made a trillion dollars with Biden selling us stuff. Much of it we don't need. Somebody said, 'oh, the shelves are gonna be open.' Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, and maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more."
April 30, 2025 at 10:07 PM
“How much could two dolls cost, Michael? Ten dollars?”
Reposted by Dave Simon
Walz: If you say you love freedom but you don't believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love is not freedom, it is privilege.
April 24, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Walz: If you say you love freedom but you don't believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love is not freedom, it is privilege.
Reposted by Dave Simon
If Hegseth resigns and we get an Acting Secretary of Defense, it'll be the eighth time we've had one.
One came under Nixon, a second under GHW Bush.
And then we had *five* under Trump.
One came under Nixon, a second under GHW Bush.
And then we had *five* under Trump.
April 21, 2025 at 7:40 PM
If Hegseth resigns and we get an Acting Secretary of Defense, it'll be the eighth time we've had one.
One came under Nixon, a second under GHW Bush.
And then we had *five* under Trump.
One came under Nixon, a second under GHW Bush.
And then we had *five* under Trump.
Now would be a good day for George w bush to say something
jeez louise -- Sen. Ron Johnson and Benny Johnson suggest 9/11 was an inside job and Johnson says he wants to hold hearings
April 21, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Now would be a good day for George w bush to say something
Reposted by Dave Simon
once again, members of Congress are held to a lower standard than we hold volunteer neighborhood board members and we should really figure out how that happened
The shocking, filthy exchange took a turn after the politician alluded that he was gay.
Nancy Mace Films Herself Having Wild Meltdown On ‘Unhinged Lunatic’ Voter Over Hosting Town Halls
The shocking, filthy exchange took a turn after the politician alluded that he was gay.
www.huffpost.com
April 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
once again, members of Congress are held to a lower standard than we hold volunteer neighborhood board members and we should really figure out how that happened
Reposted by Dave Simon
Elected Dems: do not let up on due process and do not let up on Hegseth’s security violations. The admin thinks it can get away with anything. Change that.
April 20, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Elected Dems: do not let up on due process and do not let up on Hegseth’s security violations. The admin thinks it can get away with anything. Change that.
Reposted by Dave Simon
Van Hollen is very good at conveying he understands the moment we’re in and he’s an adult in the room. Much more effective than Chuck Schumer aiming for clever and hitting cringe.
Q: "How do you respond to Governor Newsom?"
Sen. Van Hollen: "I think Americans are tired of elected officials or politicians who are all finger to the wind...Anybody who can't stand up for the Constitution and the right of due process doesn't deserve to lead."
Sen. Van Hollen: "I think Americans are tired of elected officials or politicians who are all finger to the wind...Anybody who can't stand up for the Constitution and the right of due process doesn't deserve to lead."
April 20, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Van Hollen is very good at conveying he understands the moment we’re in and he’s an adult in the room. Much more effective than Chuck Schumer aiming for clever and hitting cringe.
Reposted by Dave Simon
Sen. Van Hollen and his meeting with Abrego Garcia in El Salvador is all over the news and social media.
Joe Rogan is talking about the value of due process, wrongly denied to Abrego Garcia.
Thankfully the “just poll, then do what’s already popular, never try to lead or shape opinion” crowd lost.
Joe Rogan is talking about the value of due process, wrongly denied to Abrego Garcia.
Thankfully the “just poll, then do what’s already popular, never try to lead or shape opinion” crowd lost.
April 20, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Sen. Van Hollen and his meeting with Abrego Garcia in El Salvador is all over the news and social media.
Joe Rogan is talking about the value of due process, wrongly denied to Abrego Garcia.
Thankfully the “just poll, then do what’s already popular, never try to lead or shape opinion” crowd lost.
Joe Rogan is talking about the value of due process, wrongly denied to Abrego Garcia.
Thankfully the “just poll, then do what’s already popular, never try to lead or shape opinion” crowd lost.
Reposted by Dave Simon
Q: "How do you respond to Governor Newsom?"
Sen. Van Hollen: "I think Americans are tired of elected officials or politicians who are all finger to the wind...Anybody who can't stand up for the Constitution and the right of due process doesn't deserve to lead."
Sen. Van Hollen: "I think Americans are tired of elected officials or politicians who are all finger to the wind...Anybody who can't stand up for the Constitution and the right of due process doesn't deserve to lead."
April 20, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Q: "How do you respond to Governor Newsom?"
Sen. Van Hollen: "I think Americans are tired of elected officials or politicians who are all finger to the wind...Anybody who can't stand up for the Constitution and the right of due process doesn't deserve to lead."
Sen. Van Hollen: "I think Americans are tired of elected officials or politicians who are all finger to the wind...Anybody who can't stand up for the Constitution and the right of due process doesn't deserve to lead."
Reposted by Dave Simon
Turns out you can shape the agenda with dramatic action and maybe even shift public opinion. Crazy.
Sunday morning April 20, 2025
Fox News Sunday — Van Hollen
NBC's Meet the Press — Van Hollen
CNN's State of the Union — Van Hollen
CBS’ Face the Nation — Van Hollen
ABC’s This Week — Van Hollen
@vanhollen.senate.gov
#AbregoGarcia #RuleOfLaw
Fox News Sunday — Van Hollen
NBC's Meet the Press — Van Hollen
CNN's State of the Union — Van Hollen
CBS’ Face the Nation — Van Hollen
ABC’s This Week — Van Hollen
@vanhollen.senate.gov
#AbregoGarcia #RuleOfLaw
April 20, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Turns out you can shape the agenda with dramatic action and maybe even shift public opinion. Crazy.
Reposted by Dave Simon
Good morning to everyone but especially the White House employee whose assholery apparently woke up SCOTUS
April 19, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Good morning to everyone but especially the White House employee whose assholery apparently woke up SCOTUS
Reposted by Dave Simon
This "WHO'S NEVER COMING BACK" document published by the White House should be "EXHIBIT A" in any forthcoming hearing where a judge/justice has asked the White House to prove how it is "facilitating" the return of Kilmar Abrego Garcia.
April 18, 2025 at 4:21 PM
This "WHO'S NEVER COMING BACK" document published by the White House should be "EXHIBIT A" in any forthcoming hearing where a judge/justice has asked the White House to prove how it is "facilitating" the return of Kilmar Abrego Garcia.
Reposted by Dave Simon
INCREDIBLE opinion by Wilkinson refusing to stay Judge Xinis's orders in the Abrego Garcia case, condemning DOJ's arguments as "shocking not only to judges, but to the intuitive sense of liberty that Americans far removed from courthouses still hold dear."
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
April 17, 2025 at 7:07 PM
INCREDIBLE opinion by Wilkinson refusing to stay Judge Xinis's orders in the Abrego Garcia case, condemning DOJ's arguments as "shocking not only to judges, but to the intuitive sense of liberty that Americans far removed from courthouses still hold dear."
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Reposted by Dave Simon
if we tell you the real reason we can’t bring that guy back home do you guys promise not to get mad
April 17, 2025 at 2:50 AM
if we tell you the real reason we can’t bring that guy back home do you guys promise not to get mad
Seems kind of defamey
Bondi is escalating the rhetoric against Abrego Garcia, who she calls "one of the top MS-13 members" and "a terrorist"
April 17, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Seems kind of defamey
Reposted by Dave Simon
April 16, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Maybe. At the same time, I think they are embracing the notion that they can act with impunity without having to prove anything to anyone.
If they presented actual evidence, that would set a precedent, and they might be expected to do it again next time.
They prefer “because I said so”
If they presented actual evidence, that would set a precedent, and they might be expected to do it again next time.
They prefer “because I said so”
If Karoline Leavitt or anyone in this administration has receipts showing that Mr. Garcia is a member of MS-13, or engaged in human trafficking, they’d be presenting them in a power point presentation every single day.
April 16, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Maybe. At the same time, I think they are embracing the notion that they can act with impunity without having to prove anything to anyone.
If they presented actual evidence, that would set a precedent, and they might be expected to do it again next time.
They prefer “because I said so”
If they presented actual evidence, that would set a precedent, and they might be expected to do it again next time.
They prefer “because I said so”
“A vibe shift is happening. To support this thesis, we anecdotally speak with a trad wife podcaster in Romania.”
-NYTimes pitchbot and NYTimes forming a singular overlapping Venn diagram circle once again.
-NYTimes pitchbot and NYTimes forming a singular overlapping Venn diagram circle once again.
April 15, 2025 at 2:12 PM
“A vibe shift is happening. To support this thesis, we anecdotally speak with a trad wife podcaster in Romania.”
-NYTimes pitchbot and NYTimes forming a singular overlapping Venn diagram circle once again.
-NYTimes pitchbot and NYTimes forming a singular overlapping Venn diagram circle once again.
Reposted by Dave Simon
Criminals deserve due process because due process is literally how we determine whether someone is, *in fact*, a criminal
April 14, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Criminals deserve due process because due process is literally how we determine whether someone is, *in fact*, a criminal
Reposted by Dave Simon
*checks watch ten days later*
If the government’s position is that being trafficked to El Salvador by Donald Trump and Stephen Miller amounts to a final and irreversible deprivation of all rights, then it seems to me every federal court has a duty to permanently enjoin the practice as soon as it possibly can.
April 14, 2025 at 10:36 PM
*checks watch ten days later*
Reposted by Dave Simon
important context about the concentration camps in el salvador:
April 14, 2025 at 9:12 PM
important context about the concentration camps in el salvador:
Reposted by Dave Simon
It is pretty wild to think of Barack Obama sitting with someone from Central America and going “well uhhhh I think it would be a good idea to uhhhh send American citizens to your secret prisons” and the media just being like oh ok that’s dope man anyways how about TARIFFS
April 14, 2025 at 6:03 PM
It is pretty wild to think of Barack Obama sitting with someone from Central America and going “well uhhhh I think it would be a good idea to uhhhh send American citizens to your secret prisons” and the media just being like oh ok that’s dope man anyways how about TARIFFS
Reposted by Dave Simon
POTUS is telling another world leader he's going to start deporting native-born Americans, and to build more concentration camps for the inflow. This is shocking, even for Trump. I'm sure MAGA will tell us that it was just some jokey chit chat. It's not at all.
Trump to Bukele: "Home-growns are next. The home-growns. You gotta build about five more places. It's not big enough."
April 14, 2025 at 5:28 PM
POTUS is telling another world leader he's going to start deporting native-born Americans, and to build more concentration camps for the inflow. This is shocking, even for Trump. I'm sure MAGA will tell us that it was just some jokey chit chat. It's not at all.