Mad Dog
@grass-greener.bsky.social
Reposted by Mad Dog
SECURITY QUESTION: What was the last name of your first grade teacher?
MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER HACKING MY BANK ACCOUNT: I'm in
MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER HACKING MY BANK ACCOUNT: I'm in
October 22, 2025 at 2:29 AM
SECURITY QUESTION: What was the last name of your first grade teacher?
MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER HACKING MY BANK ACCOUNT: I'm in
MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER HACKING MY BANK ACCOUNT: I'm in
Reposted by Mad Dog
starting a fitness trend where you dig yourself a new grave every morning
July 12, 2025 at 3:07 AM
starting a fitness trend where you dig yourself a new grave every morning
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No offense, but I think all the bad guys should knock it off
July 9, 2025 at 8:24 PM
No offense, but I think all the bad guys should knock it off
Reposted by Mad Dog
If you care about public lands. Please start speaking up. I’m literally begging you. Not enough folk seem to care about this issue.
June 21, 2025 at 9:23 PM
If you care about public lands. Please start speaking up. I’m literally begging you. Not enough folk seem to care about this issue.
Reposted by Mad Dog
Vanilla ISIS and Y’all-Qaeda need to sit the fuck down with the Civil War fantasies.
Only a handful of you could run down the street without an inhaler, and you want to be deputized to go help ICE?
Clown shit.
Only a handful of you could run down the street without an inhaler, and you want to be deputized to go help ICE?
Clown shit.
June 9, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Vanilla ISIS and Y’all-Qaeda need to sit the fuck down with the Civil War fantasies.
Only a handful of you could run down the street without an inhaler, and you want to be deputized to go help ICE?
Clown shit.
Only a handful of you could run down the street without an inhaler, and you want to be deputized to go help ICE?
Clown shit.
Reposted by Mad Dog
Ciabatta not fuck with them, they don't knead to put up with naan of your shit. You butter believe they'll crumb right at you and you'll be toast, your loaf over. Do you want your mama putting flours on your grave? Crust me, that's just how they roll. Okay, challah at you later.
May 15, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Ciabatta not fuck with them, they don't knead to put up with naan of your shit. You butter believe they'll crumb right at you and you'll be toast, your loaf over. Do you want your mama putting flours on your grave? Crust me, that's just how they roll. Okay, challah at you later.
Reposted by Mad Dog
don’t ever fucking ask me to do long division again I’ll kiII you
May 12, 2025 at 3:20 AM
don’t ever fucking ask me to do long division again I’ll kiII you
Reposted by Mad Dog
Possibly the best interview of all-time
April 22, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Possibly the best interview of all-time
Reposted by Mad Dog
so they're mycoblogging
April 21, 2025 at 12:15 AM
so they're mycoblogging
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Today we celebrate Him
April 20, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Today we celebrate Him
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(me looking at my yard) wow this is just like animal crossing
April 19, 2025 at 8:35 PM
(me looking at my yard) wow this is just like animal crossing
Reposted by Mad Dog
Reposted by Mad Dog
This product is so good that you don’t even mind when it leaks all over your refrigerator because it fell on its side and somehow manages to do it every single time you buy it. That’s just the bargain you make with this stern old woman
April 17, 2025 at 2:23 AM
This product is so good that you don’t even mind when it leaks all over your refrigerator because it fell on its side and somehow manages to do it every single time you buy it. That’s just the bargain you make with this stern old woman
Reposted by Mad Dog
just put socks on right out of the dryer
April 16, 2025 at 8:55 PM
just put socks on right out of the dryer
Reposted by Mad Dog
The Syrian Arabic word for a hamster is أبو جراب (abu jrab), where jrab refers to a pouch/saddlebag/tote. And abu often means “father of,” but can also function as a general honorific (like “mister”). So it’s not too big a stretch to say the Syrian Arabic word for a hamster means “Mister Saddlebags”
April 12, 2025 at 11:51 AM
The Syrian Arabic word for a hamster is أبو جراب (abu jrab), where jrab refers to a pouch/saddlebag/tote. And abu often means “father of,” but can also function as a general honorific (like “mister”). So it’s not too big a stretch to say the Syrian Arabic word for a hamster means “Mister Saddlebags”
Reposted by Mad Dog
I had a dream I got in a plane with RFK jr. as the pilot and he almost killed us three times and I kept sarcastically calling him “Bobby” and then he accidentally suffocated himself in an air lock and I had to go in and give him mouth to mouth to revive him, which worked.
April 13, 2025 at 4:00 PM
I had a dream I got in a plane with RFK jr. as the pilot and he almost killed us three times and I kept sarcastically calling him “Bobby” and then he accidentally suffocated himself in an air lock and I had to go in and give him mouth to mouth to revive him, which worked.
Reposted by Mad Dog
trying to avoid the subject of my secret fight club after running into a coworker at target while pushing an entire cart full of bandaids
April 13, 2025 at 4:13 AM
trying to avoid the subject of my secret fight club after running into a coworker at target while pushing an entire cart full of bandaids
Reposted by Mad Dog
60 Minutes found no criminal record for 75% of the Venezuelan migrants the U.S. sent to a mega-prison in El Salvador. https://cbsn.ws/4lC4Vp5
April 7, 2025 at 1:29 AM
60 Minutes found no criminal record for 75% of the Venezuelan migrants the U.S. sent to a mega-prison in El Salvador. https://cbsn.ws/4lC4Vp5
Reposted by Mad Dog
Reposted by Mad Dog
I’m completely bald but still use shampoo because I like my head to smell different than my butt
April 3, 2025 at 2:56 AM
I’m completely bald but still use shampoo because I like my head to smell different than my butt
Reposted by Mad Dog
when he dies they're gonna cut open his head and find there was only one of those wind-up monkeys playing the cymbals in there this entire time
April 3, 2025 at 2:17 AM
when he dies they're gonna cut open his head and find there was only one of those wind-up monkeys playing the cymbals in there this entire time
Reposted by Mad Dog
Reposted by Mad Dog
I heard there was a secret ooze
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
March 29, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I heard there was a secret ooze
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
Reposted by Mad Dog
Reposted by Mad Dog
your honor, the prosecution is killing the vibe
March 25, 2025 at 1:15 PM
your honor, the prosecution is killing the vibe